To not speak to some of my family once my DGF passes away

[SoAmIBeingUnreasonable]

I know some of you will recognise my story, i just don't want this to be searchable under my own name.

The story so far...

My DGF was diagnosed with cancer, he was told it was terminal, and due to a blockage in his stomach he was given just days to live.

He decided that he wanted to make his DP an honest woman (his words) and to marry her

My auntie objected to this, actually saying that his DP was just after his money (she has her own money and doesnt need his money)

He got married anyway and made a will the next day, saying where what should go

The Drs managed to clear the blockage in his stomach and he started getting a bit better (but is still terminal)

My auntie kept kicking up a fuss, saying that she was 'entitled' to this money, making him constantly feel anxious and making him go downhill

My Auntie/uncle and cousins would go and see DGF daily, for hours and hours just sitting with him.

My DGF decided to give my auntie and DF their 'inheritance' early to keep the peace (for the record my DF didn't need or want his money, it was only my aunties actions that made him do this)

After giving the money away my DGF feels unburdened and like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

This happened over a month ago, and my aunti has only visited him once since then, after she was visiting daily, my cousins havent been at all.

My DGF keeps getting upset and thinking that we are going to stop coming to see him, and even though we have been trying to convince him we will always come and see him, the doubts that they have put in his mind have unsettled him.

So atm i havent said anything to them because i know they will go to my DGF and tell him whatever i say, and i don't want to upset him even more, but i feel as though i can't just let it go, they haven't helped him in the last few months, have been selfish and have made him feel worse.

I know that after the funeral i don't want anything to do with them

AIBU to tell them i think they treated my DGF badly, after the funeral (not directly after) and then never speak to them again?

Yanbu to be upset but a bit insensitive to speak of "after the funeral" when if I understant correctly, your DGF has not died yet?

No he hasnt, it is going to be soon though

I don't mean after the funeral as in the same day, just once the funeral has been, so she can't make a scene at the funeral

I am being unreasonable arent i

That is SO sad. Your poor GF! I guess nothing you can do will make up for their atrocious behaviour. Just be there for your GF as much as you can. YABU to want to not speak to them again.

YANBU at all. Makes my blood boil reading this post IF it is as you say.

OK so it is a hell of a coincidence that they have suddenly stopped going to see him 9and your auntie's attitude to his money stinks - like that is all he is good for and like he is dead already ) but there MIGHT be other reasons that you don't know about in her life that she needs to deal with which is why she hasn't been for a while. I think this is liekly to be bollocks but I would make absolutely sure before you go off on one and cause a rift that can't be mended.

However, I would also think about your dad in this. if behaving like you want to (and I don't blame you) will make things difficult for him and his family I would bite my tongue and be civil when you see them without doing anything with them that isn't essential.

I meant YANBU! Sorry!

I don't think it is unreasonable to speak about 'after the funeral' when a person is in the later stages of a terminal disease.

It is just facing the facts.

I don't think me dad will be speaking to any of his family after this tbh, and i think the only reason he hasn't said anything is because he doesn't weant to upset my DGF#

My DGF has been hoping the my auntie comes around before he dies, we have all been hoping that she will so he is at peace when he goes, but we don't hold out much hope.

The reason they have given for not visiting after they got the money was that their cars all broke down (three different cars ) and they haven't yet had a chance to get them fixed, but my cousins wouldnt be able ti get to work without a car, so i find it unbelievable thatr they would not have worked i over a month

I am really sorry, I seem to have been the insensitive one.
MadamDeathstare's post makes a lot of sense.

I have no idea whether or not you are unreasonable, all I can say is that I would feel exactly the same.

I might not voice it directly to them though - just cut contact down and drift away. They have behaved appallingly.

But do enjoy the time you have with your DGF and don't let this spoil it. He sounds lovely, and needs you at the moment.