to find out that my SIL's "interfering" was as a result of my dh's suggestion?!

[onthepier]

Basically our dd has to go into hospital for a "minor" operation soon, (removal of tonsils + adenoids). Both our families are concerned, (as are we of course)!

I've just opened a letter from dh's sister, to find several A4 sheets of information on tonsils/adenoids, printed off the internet, with a note attached from her saying that Google is the best place to look for anything medical or otherwise, (as if I didn't already know, I often use Google, as does nearly everybody!)

Wondered why she took it upon herself to print all this + send it, as we've done a substantial amount of research to come to the decision that our dd needs this operation!

Mentioned it to my dh. Apparently he asked her if she could look up some info on tonsils + adenoids once we had the operation date through, as he felt it would make her feel "more involved", as she's so keen on the dc's + lives so far away!!

AIBU to think that he's made it look as if we're incapable of looking anything up on the computer ourselves? As this actually relates to our own daughter, I'm feeling a bit with him!

We do involve his sister in lots of things to do with the dc's, but I feel he's just made us look incapable!

I find it odd that your husband would ask your sister to do this without OKing it with you first. It does sound as though he isn't happy with things so is wanting more info.
I would not drag my or my husband's extended families into issues concerning my nuclear families health, and probably wouldn't even mention that one of my kids was going into hospital until they were in and had the op as I hate fussing.
When I had to go in for a minor op I told my relatives after I'd had the op and the histology was back.

Boys are rubbish sometimes. Sounds like something my DH would do, meaning nothing sister, just trying to think on the spot of a way to include his dsis. You sound quite stressed about your dd, understandably. Hope it goes well. x

You're over-analysing more than you are BU.

SIL: What can I do to help
DH : I dunno

• maybe find some more info? I am sure onthepier would appreciate that

'twas not malicious or premeditated - as VeryAnnieMary says, Boys are Rubbish sometimes

the term "Boys Are Rubbish" is rubbish

makes 'em sound like useless little schoolkids, which they can be, but only if we let 'em

AnyFucker - in 99% of cases I absolutely agree with you and cannot stand 'studied incompetence' but I think this is a genuine case of OP's DH trying to do the right thing (make his DSis feel involved without annoying his DW) but getting it wrong because he just didn't think it through.

(and therefore not worth stressing about)

Has SIL made you feel patronised in the past or something? I don't really get why this is such a big deal otherwise.

Hope everything goes well with the op though.

Is it possible that your SIL has the family rep for being a keen internet user?

I have very literate and able friends who used to ask me to 'look things up online' for them all the time. They are convinced that I somehow have a better google then them.

I just say to them now 'what is it you want to know' then 'ok, type those exact words into google'. They have got the message!

I think you are being a little tiny bit unreasonable. Yes, she was interfering a little bit.....but.....don't take it as a sleight on your character, some people feel better getting their little tuppence in and if it keeps them happy and doesn't overly interfere in your life, then let it go. I honestly don't think she wold see it as an incapability on your part.

Let it go and if it gets worse you can deal with it as it comes up.

lol @ "studied incompetence"

that sums up what I meant