To want to have a one-nigth stand?

[Onestonetogo]

Message withdrawn

Well yanbu to not want to be celibate, but do you really want to wreck your marriage? Or would you rather sort it out? If you'd rather wreck it, then leave him first, otherwise start talking!

YABU and you more than likely know it.

You know YABVU.

YABU and immature and frankly silly. get a vibrator.

if you don;t want sex with him and things are bad, walk away, go to relate, do something useful , constructive and practical, shagging someone else is merely a distraction from the real issue

if you would not really care if your DH slept with someone else, that speaks volumes about your marriage

3 months is not a lifetime.

is he depressed? is he unwell ? is he on medication taht could affect his ability to get an erection or maybe his libido is on the floor.

why not talk to him?

FGS

If you 'don't want to do it with him' then explain why.

If just cos you don't want to then you have bigger problems than just sex.

[parp]

Message withdrawn

if this is a serious question and thought going on here, please stop right there and think this through.

It is so simple.

Deal with one relationship at a time and sort out your marriage first. Looking elsewhere is not going to solve your marriage issues, it will only make everything harder and more painful all round.

I am guessing you have children? If so, think it through from their perspective too. You are not talking about a casual schoolgirl relationship with no ties, no responsibilities here. Think of the fallout and the effect you will have on all involved.

Stop thinking just about yourself and your needs and start thinking a bit wider than yourself. Re-read your OP - look at how many "I" statements are in there - "I miss sex" "I don?t want to ..| "I?m not sure" "I do understand".... doesn?t that ring any alarm bells for you? If you read this OP again as if it were written by another person, what would you be thinking??

Bit harsh maybe, but if you were in the room with me right now, I would be wanting to give you a big hug and then a big "wake up" shake! You know you are gonna have to talk to your DH about all this and how serious it is don?t you?

if you love each other , why are you splitting? or on the verge of it? although i expect trying to make things work with a man who won;t put the work in to make it work is awful

is it ultimatum time? maybe he would be fine about you taking a lover whilst remaining married? or not. it might well make him think about how he is pushing you away, but ultimtaley, if you are married, then a one night stand is just not on.

if the marriage is dead, you walk away before you start anything with anyone else

unles you are both happy to have an open marriage

x posts with your last one there, but I still stand by most of what I wrote

YANBU to want a one night stand but YABU to actually go and have one.

I sometimes have an urge to go out, get trashed and have a ONS with an inappropriate man - it's an exciting passing thought that reminds me of my youth! I wouldn't ever do it though.

You need to sort out your relationship, not go out and have meaningless sex.

Message withdrawn

how is it better for the children to have a mother who feels trapped in a marriage , without intimacy and physicality?

it will eventually boil over into resentment and argument and children can and do pick up on these such things

does he realise that this is pretty much the end of the line for your marriage?

i am sorry you are going through this, has something precipitated this bad patch or is just you have grown apart?

How will you feel when you wake up the next morning? Worth thinking about.

Better to deal with three things head on, I say. Broach the issue with your DH. It might well be sortable.

Your babies are still really young! I wonder if sleep deprivation and tiny people running around the house is taking it?s toll? I know my two have ruined many a romantic evening in.

How does your DH feel about the lack of sex with you? does he feel the same way about you or is he hurt and upset by an unspoken ban? I wonder if it is at the heart of some of the arguments, if there is unspoken resentment going on?

Whatever, you are clearly miserable about all this and it is making your life unbearable. Can I suggest you find a way to talk about all this again with DH in a way that avoids blame or confrontation and is just honest, open feelings? I know that I am suggesting what seems like the impossible, but somehow, someway, if you are wanting to stay together for the sake of your children, you are going to have to communicate. It is too important to skirt around. Also, your 4 yr old is bound to pick up on the tension and arguments. Staying together is only a sensible move if you can live together reasonably peacefully. But then I have a feeling you know all that anyway x

Sorry this is going to sound cheesy but here goes:
Life is not a smooth road, we all experienc good times and bad times. Go with your gut feeling and decide, is this worth working through or is this really the end?
Sometimes life is hard even with the person that we love, work through it, it is hard, but just give it a go.
Good luck, I hope you are able to work through it which ever 'path' you take.
x

Message withdrawn