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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be terrified that I will be treated like a leper now I am BANKRUPT!!!

15 replies

NiceFaceShameAboutTheBigButt · 19/03/2009 18:42

Can't quite believe that I am - keep thinking it's a dream that I will wake up from. Other than that the relief is immense as I do not need to be frightened of answering the phone and opening my mail anymore. My debts were completely unmanagable and down to a few years of pretty shite bad luck, marriage breakdown and illness.

I am absolutely terrified of what will happen when my name and address goes in the paper. If the DC's friends parents see it, I am worried that they will stop their kids playing with mine and they will get teased in the playground that we are 'poor', the neighbours will be curtain twitching, work colleagues will talk about me behind my back and the town will be awash with gossip about me (am just slightly paranoid about it as you can see!). I have not told anybody about it at all. AIBU to be scared?? Would any of you shun me if you knew me??

OP posts:

FAQinglovely · 19/03/2009 18:45

No I wouldn't shun you if I knew you - and chances are I wouldn't even know as I never look at those tiny little notices in the paper (the same could be said for a large number of people I suspect)

wotulookinat · 19/03/2009 18:47

Don't be scared! I went bankrupt in 2006, when I was pregnant. It was a HUGE relief and meant I could live my life again.
The only person who was really negative about it was my FIL - and he's a tosser anyway.
I've always been really open about it and I think all of my friends know.

SalBySea · 19/03/2009 18:47

honestly I have never looked at the bankrupcy notices in the paper

and no, I wouldnt shun you. sh"t happens!

benfmsmum · 19/03/2009 18:48

I wouldn't shun you if I knew you. As far as I know being bankrupt doesn't change your personality and I am pretty sure that you would be a friend of mine for that reason above everything else. Sorry that you are in that situation, it must be very hard. I would think that you would have loads of other things to worry about than how your so called friends will treat you!

Kathyis6incheshigh · 19/03/2009 18:48

No, I wouldn't shun you and wouldn't think any the worse of you - these things happen to people for all sorts of reasons not their fault. If I knew you well I might ask if you were ok!

I could imagine some very old people might be funny about it, but no-one I know would.

ForeverOptimistic · 19/03/2009 18:49

I didn't even know that there such notices in the paper, I have never noticed them.

I do always read the criminalcourt case round ups though.

mollyroger · 19/03/2009 18:49

I suspect by the end of this year, there will be a fair few in the playground joining you...

hold your head up and carry on! It's who you are and not what you you have, and anyone who acts otherwise is a cuntiflap, IMHO.

Kimi · 19/03/2009 18:52

My cousin had to go bankrupt at 22 when her marriage went tits up, so she was a single mum, on benefits in a council house and blacklisted....She went back to collage, she worked hard and now she has her own lovely house, a really good career, a car and no dept.

No one shunned her as far as I know, and I do not see why any of your friends would do so, however if they do I think it is more to do with your choice of friends then the bankrupt thing.

Onwards and upwards, good luck

BitOfFun · 19/03/2009 18:58

I would just murmer enigmatically about the markets overseas so people think you are a wheeler-dealer and start getting on with the rest of your life! And remember that old saying: those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. It's not like you ran away with someone's pension fund, and you've got nothing to be ashamed of

nametaken · 19/03/2009 18:59

Just out of interest, is it true you can't have a bank account if you're a bankrupt or is that just old-fashioned nonsense?

wotulookinat · 19/03/2009 19:04

I have 2 bank accounts now. You get given a list of banks that offer basic bank accounts to people who are bankrupt from the court.

Sorrento · 19/03/2009 19:04

I think it depends how you were before hand.
There's a lady at our school who's daughters are dressed in co ordinating outfits like a pair of dolls, who has been caught stealing from her employers and other mums via catalogues.
She sniggered at other people who didn't dress their children in Catimini so I must admit my first thoughts when I found out she'd gone bankrupt was how funny, but she seems to be brazening it out, everyone is having a giggle behind her back but the children aren't being called names and no doubt you've been more pleasant when you did have money.

lou33 · 19/03/2009 19:05

i'm bankrupt, i still have a bank account and friends and have not been shunned

sagacious · 19/03/2009 19:07

I know several bankrupts
I don't think any less of them
I certainly can't see any reason for playground shunning

Shit happens

Bellebelle · 19/03/2009 19:46

Really don't think you should worry, decent people won't shun you even if they do find out. You probably know people who are or have been bankrupt in the past without knowing it. I got into a conversation about this with my MIL a few months ago as would prob happen to me if made redundant and she told me about lots of people I know who are bankrupt or have been in the past. They all lead happy lives and just have had periods where the money didn't work out, no one judges or shuns them.

Be happy and good luck with what I hope will be a fresh start for you.

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