to drop a card through BIL's letterbox for his birthday?

[lucysmam]

Now, before you all flame me for this one, hear (read) me out . . .

They didn't bother with our lo for Xmas
They didn't bother with my birthday
They only remembered our lo's birthday because we reminded them every day for at least the week beforehand
I made SIL a cake, got her a card & pressy, not even athank-you from them
They are refusing to answer their door & return several items of mine because I told thm I didn't want them in the house with our lo until they cleaned their act up

I know it may seem very tight (& even I feel it is in a way) but I don't see why I should go out of my way for him when obviously thinking about anyone else is too much for either of them

But I am open to opinions, just not my oh's or MIL's because they are biased I think

I don't get it.

What is the supposed unreasonable part?

I think you are generous. He'd get shit through his letterbox if it was me!

I wouldnt even drop a card, but in your situation and you feel you at least need to drop a card, then putting it in the post or through the door is fine imo.

YANBU, unless BIL is 4

screamingabdab, I love your name! Very appropriate, he may as well be four but no, he's not!

Morris, the unreasonable part is everyone else seems to think we should have got him something other than a card & I ought to have made him the cake I was going to make. But I don't think I am being unfair at all

YANBU ffs. Who makes their BIL a cake?

The great thing about BILs ime is that they neither want nor expect fuss.

My BILs get embarrassed if you even buy them a cheap bottle of plonk and present it in a Oddbins bag!

SILs now that's another matter

Thankyou lucysmam, I like to think it suits me

Ah, Morris, you haven't met my BIL. He is like a small child. Needs constant attention or he sulks (honestly, no word of a lie). I wish he wasn't my oh's bro tbh but he is, they couldn't be more different if they tried!

The cake was more for me, to practise before going to college to do a cake decorating course but was in the shape of record decks (he thinks he's a fab dj it sounds like random thump thump thump noise to me!)

Ok, so the plot is thickening here.

This DJ cake sounds very cool - did you offer it and have now withdrawn that offer? Or did they ask you to make it? Or did you start making it and then think aah sod him?

Hmmm - you being a cake student does change this matter I feel.

Most people who think they are DJs are insufferable arseholes ime but no doubt when he's older he will look back and laugh.

Arsehole cake?

Anyone?

pmsl @ arsehole cake, don't tempt me! I didn't offer, I never do, am just open to suggestions of things to try out. MIL asked if I was making one & I said I may try making record decks. Thing is, I want to do it, I just don't want to give it to him when he's being such an ass & there's no way we could eat it all if I did do it

What a baby. Don't make him a cake. MIL can sort it out if she wants him to have one.

Make the cake, it sounds great. Photograph it for your portfolio then use it to show this numpty how gracious you are and how much more kind and caring you are then him and his DW.

You come out smelling of roses, arsehole gets a cake, and you have hands on experience of novelty icing.

You know what Morris? You're right about one thing, I will still make it. But . . . only for the making it iygwim. But just one deck & the mixer.

YABU - you should make a cake that gets across how you feel about your BIL. Some ideas here

lol, they're not quite bad enough. But I like the idea! The Barbie one on there is fab though, if it is actually a cake

make the cake, take a photo, eat the cake, send him the photo.