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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit miffed at DH's reaction when I'm trying to better myself and earn money?

32 replies

Spaceman · 19/03/2009 15:07

The story goes: I've been doing quite well in recent years as a copywriter and trade journalist but work has recently dried up.

I'm taking this opportunity to look into different avenues for earning money, so, for a bit of fun and to help me keep my writing up, I'm in the process or writing a short story that I intend to send into magazines in the hope they'll publish it for a small fee.

I'm really happy with my story; in fact I think it's rather good. I'm not expecting anything great from this new venture, but if I could get something published then I'd be breaking open the champagne. When DH came in and I told him what I was doing he just laughed in my face and said 'what you think you're a writer now?' I replied by saying, 'well I AM a copywriter' and felt a bit silly. Then he made a snide comment about me thinking I'm some kind of novelist.

I know he's worried that I'm spending time on this and not doing my usual paid for work, but I've been looking for new business and have got some irons in the fire - though we're still really skint. Am I right to be a little bit peed off at his lack of support? I don't think so, but I'd love someone to help explain why he has this attitude.

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 19/03/2009 16:14

Sorry spaceman, your DH is giving every indication of being a jobbiehead.

Does he take the same approach to motivate his DCs? If so, that's

YANBU, you go girl !

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/03/2009 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JemL · 19/03/2009 16:22

Maybe he feels threatened incase you do become fantastically successful and bugger off and leave him behind!

I'm sure he is much nicer than he is coming across just from these snippets but I do have to say that if my DH never complimented anything I cooked, I would stop cooking. He has been trained into thanking and praising me for any old crap I dish up but then I am demanding and unreasonable.

Seriously. Don't cook for him. And write an unflattering story about him.

MrsMattie · 19/03/2009 16:23

In agreement with others. Twattish behaviour. He should be applauding you.

Sfendona · 19/03/2009 16:29

I know most posters said 'dont cook for him'
I will add 'dont let him know that you want/need his compliment or aproval. For anything at all.

Withdrawing compliment/aproval is a way that passive-agressive partners use in order to control you or 'punish' you or keep you on your toes. The more he knows that you need something the more he ll refuse to give it to you.

The way to deal is to ignore him and carry on whatever you do

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 19/03/2009 16:30

No reason why you shouldn't and your DH should be more supportive.

I've no writing expereince at all but I wrote an article which the Daily Mail (I know, sorry) published and paid me £500 for. Believe me I'll sell my principles and be a DM journo for £500.

ABetaDad · 19/03/2009 16:42

Spaceman - that is not nice. You are a writer.

My wife is going through a similar thing in a very similar position. She went for an interview to write a book the other day and got the job. I gave her a big hug and looked her in the eye and told her to 'go for it'. I am very proud of her.

You should go for it and you should be proud of yourself too. .

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