To think this mum is a bit out of order and to try and avoid her? (long)

[WhereTheWildThingsWere]

After school ds 4 likes to walk home with his friend (X), who has a tendancy to run straight across roads . I don't know X's mum very well yet as they have only just become friends, but we walk home together most days.

Yesterday afternoon ds and X were running ahead of X's mother and I and they both ran over a road without looking or stopping (ds is supposed to stop and hold my hand or the pushchair),ds then stopped on the other side and looked very worried, I was very shocked but didn't shout, I simply told him that, 'that was very naughty behaviour and very dangerous, and now you have to hold mummy's hand all the way home'.

Ds burst into tears and cried the rest of the way home.

X's mother made little attempt to repremand her ds she just said 'don't run over the road X'.

She then said to my ds 'just say sorry to your mummy, then you can go off and run again with X', I was quite surprised and said 'err no, he can't actually' and she replied that I was being too hard on him.

We got home I talked to ds about roads, he promised never to do it again all is fine.

But what do I do AIBU if I try to avoid walking home with them now? Ds is really fond of X. WWYD?

Teach them both the green cross code. ask you son to help teach X / get his attention. would still walk with them

You have not been hard on your son. He needs to learn that crossing the road can be dangerous.

YABU not to walk home with them in the future but it has to be on your terms and if that means holiding onto the pram then so be it.

I don't think there's any reason not to walk with them. Just be persistent about what your rules are and be a bit sly about encouraging the other child as well! Congratulate them if they remember to stop and look with your DC etc.

If you still want to be friends just forget it and move on.

You were right btw.

I have the same thing with my DS and his friend - DS is very sensible normally but the excitement of being with his friend makes him forgetful.

I've done the same as you and told him if I can't trust him to stop at roads he will have to walk "nicely" with me and not run ahead. Result = both boys much better at being sensible round roads.

I wouldn't stop walking home together based on a single incident.

I guess you are right and I am being a bit precious, if she told her ds off for doing it I wouldn't mind so much.

I am always a bit at parents who don't tell their kids off for running across roads. I imagine them to be the type to think it the driver's fault if their child gets run over.

I wouldn't stop walking home with them based on the one incident though, but perhaps your ds being sensible near the roads will encourage this other child too?

what would annoy me is the undermining of x mother by saying he could run off and play if he apologized.

2boys2 - that would be my issue too .

I would have done the same as you btw!

I wouldn't break your friendship, but I can see your point. When my DS did this once I absolutely shouted my head off to him I was so shocked angry and TBH scared. I shouted at him because I love him and don't want him to get run over and killed. She also had not right to tell you how to reprimand your child. Children need to be shocked into the consequences of their actions. I would rather my child sobbed at the fact that I had shouted at him for running across a road without looking than him being knocked over and killed or badly injured. Your friend is a little too laid back for my liking.

What WannaB said

I would have done the same and in future insist that ds doesn't run ahead. Don't care about other mum's view as my ds's safety comes first imo and I'd have no problem telling her that. How rude of her to countermand you.

I'mnoy authoritarian at all but I do make a huge fuss about road safety. Make it a game of stop, look and listen and stick to your guns.

My kids are a lot older (8 and 11) and like nervous rabbits when near the road but I live on the corner of 2 main roads. This woman sounds like a lot of mum's sadly. A lot undermine too. YANBU in the fact you're right but it wouldn't stop me personally from walking with her. She may have personality issues so struggle to make friends easily?

Not at all unreasonable. Fon't want to cause a debate about smacking but the only time I've ever smacked either of my children was when DD was about 2.5 and ran off in car park in town centre. I started to tell her that she might get run over and it would hurt and then thought 'she's not going to get this at all' so I smacked her. I'm not for smacking on the whole, but I believe better smacked than dead (sorry to be blunt!). Afew months later she learned to undo her seat belt in the car. She did it twice on one trip (as soon as she'd learned) so I said if she did it again I would smack her. She didn't do it. You really cannot risk being complacent with traffic IMHO.