Driving question, DH and I fell out last night over this.

[Confuzzeled]

We went to a friends house last night with my dd. I'm pregnant and dh decided he would drink so I had to drive home. I said we couldn't be late and I was tired, dd slept in her buggy but I didn't want to be out too late with her. At 9.45 I said we should be heading home but he didn't start moving until 10.30.

When we got in the car he asked if I was okay, I said I was tired and I had a sore tummy. I also said again how much I hate driving at night, I'd rather drive in rush hour traffic than at night.

I tend to think out loud when I'm driving, and dh was getting annoyed because he thought I was talking to him. He's a bit of a back seat driver and it was annoying me too.

So we're on this one stretch of road thats really wide, it has a bus lane and a normal lane. It's really long and straight and people do go along it faster than 30mph even though it's a 30 road. The bus lane becomes a normal lane at points just before junctions turning left. At this time of night you are aloud to use the bus lanes, but nobody does because taxi's use them and they tend to get angry as they think they're lanes just for them. At the end of the road the bus lane turns into a normal lane that is clearly marked to turn left only. The right hand normal lane goes straight on or right.

I'm just going along the normal lane at 30mph when this car comes up behind me. My dh says I should move into the bus lane to let the person behind me go past. I say that I need to stay in this lane as I'm going straight on and I'm not going in and out of lanes quickly because someone behind me wants to break the law. I think what if the person behind just trundles along at the same speed and I get stuck in the bus lane and end up having to turn left. So I stay in my lane and at the end of the road the car behind me goes into the left hand lane but instead of turning left, he undertakes me and forces me into the right hand lane of the road we go onto. I want to be in the left hand lane so I say out loud "What is this idiot doing?". My dh shouts " JUST SHUT UP and get on with driving". I manage to get into the left hand lane and get home. At home we have a huge row because he thinks I should have moved into the bus lane to let the guy past.

I think I was right and he thinks he was.

Was I being unreasonable? I don't think so but as this has caused an fight I'm open to hearing what others think. I'm big enough to admit if I'm wrong.

You were right. You don't pander to knob drivers and put yourself out or at risk. The driver rules.
The number of times I've said words to the effect of "no comment, passenger.......lalalalalalal rah rah rahahaha isn't it lovely weather lalalala"

He should apologise for his rudeness to you. Definitely.

But, I do think you should have been in the left lane anyway if it's not classed as a bus lane due to the time. You wouldn't hog the right lane of a normal duel carriageway would you, whilst leaving the left lane empty?

i'm not sure what you are asking really?
are you asking who was wrong technically speaking with regards to the rules of the road? in which case it was you because the bus lane wasn't in operation so it was an option for you to pull into and continue straight through the junction.
or are you asking who was in the wrong with regards wether or not you should have pulled over?in which case i'd say it's about 50/50 if it was essentially a dual carraigeway then it may have been sensible to pull into the slow lane to let the faster driver past. but as others have said you have no obligation to pull over for someone who is speeding.
or if it is wether or not he was wrong for talking to you in that manner? then he was wrong and over-reacted and shouldn't have shouted at you like that.
or is it that backseat drivers are always wrong?in which case the answer is most definitely yes

agree what custy said about driving at night

YANBU - if drinking had impaired his judgement to the extent that he shouldn't be driving, he shouldn't be doling out advice about how you should be driving.

Although if the person behind you wasn't local to the area and didn't know that people don't generally use the bus lane, they would've been getting pretty agitated, and for that reason I think I would've let them past, personally.

you were right, next time tell him to walk or get a fecking taxi

You were sober and driving he was drunk and not driving. You should have told him to shut the fuck up and let you drive how you want to.

YANBU

I think Tee summed the situation up perfectly. Bloody cheek.

Whenever I drive and DH puts his twopenneth in about the way I'm doing it or whatever, I ask him if he'd like me to pull over and he can drive. Men are such wankers sometimes.

Personally I would've just pulled over and let tosser past to get rid of him.

As for arguement with dh, if it was me I think I'd let it go now. You're pregnant and were tired and dh was drunk. Maybe you both reacted differently to normal and dragging it up the next day isn't really worth any more aggro imo.

If dh and I have an issue with each others driving it's dealt with as soon as the journey is finished. The next day is usually too late to bother.

I would have pulled over to let him past as a courtesy. I reallyreallyhate being stuck behind slow drivers, esp. in the wrong lane.

But he should say sorry for being rude with you.

What's the prob about driving at night?

I would have pulled over, not because I was in the wrong but to avoid the road rage, I agree with Vinegar. I have told my dh he is a back-seat driver, but he can't see it, says he's only trying to help!! We've had many an argument about it, but he's not going to change.

YANBU - he sounds like he was being an idiot - time to move on now hun..

Just an update as I've been out all day.

When DH got up he appologised for being such a twat and speaking to me in such an aggressive way. We agreed that I could have pulled over into the left lane and let the driver go past even though it would have meant switching back and forth lanes. I then drove him to work.

I'd like to point out that I could not have gone through the junction in the left hand lane as that is for LEFT HAND TURNS ONLY. I had to be in the right hand lane to go straight on, it is clearly signed well ahead of the junction.

It is not a dual carriageway with a fast lane and a slow lane, it's in the middle of the city through a residential area and the speed limit is 30mph for a good reason.

I think people who break the speed limit in residential areas no matter what time of night or day are selfish idiots. I have seen the results of a few accidents in the town and on motorways.

I am a cautious driver, especially when I have my dd in the car. Her life is infinitely more important that some selfish cockpot who wants to get to his destination 40 seconds faster than me.

I don't like driving at night as I wear glasses and get glare even though I spend a bloody fortune on anti-glare glaze.

Glad worked out for you, and that he admitted that he shouldn't have spoken like that.

I have been inspired by custy's scoffing at nervous driving to phone up for some lessons - passed test 6 years ago and haven't had a car until now so I need a bit of a reminder!