I know it been done to death but I'm still cross...

[maqrollelgaviero]

and I DON'T think IABU, do you think I am?

Last tues I sent my son to Pre school with the invitations to his party. I have invited lots of NCT long time friends so with them plus sibling we already had about 15 kids plus parents coming and the party is at home so I said ds could ask 5 friends from Pre school, which he was more than happy with. I liased with ps to find out who he played with and checked with ds that he wanted to invite those 5 kids.

One mum who I know slightly came up to me on tues at pick up time and said sorry but they were going away for the weekend so her ds couldn't come, we made tentative plans for another time. One boy's mum rang on Monday to say they'd be coming which is great. The other 3 haven't contacted me at all. AIBU to think this is a bit rude of them?

I even wrote on the invitations that they were welcome to stay and join in and bring any siblings as I know I'd be a bit stuck if we had a weekend invite and as my dh is often working away and I have another little one I'd be stuck for childcare for him.

I'm not fussed about the party as we have lots of people coming and hopefully ds won't notice his school buddies aren't there, I just feel cross that people aren't polite enough to at least say no if they don't want to come!

classmate's classmates'

Don't get me started on siblings. Ds's party attendees doubled last year because of uninvited siblings turning up. We were limited on numbers and age and that was made clear in the no-siblings invite. I didn't mind the couple that bothered to contact me in advance with childcare problems but the rest just turned up.

I would ask the parents when you see them, even though you don't know them very well, then at least you'll know, but that's just me!

I find it strange when people are not upfront about things anyway, I was trying to arrange a night out with some of the mums a while ago and it was very difficult to get a yes or no out of them, so sympathise with what you're saying,Maqrollelgaviero. Why not just say a polite 'no?' Instead, you just get 'don't know what I am doing' then they don't come back to me, probably because they forget, everyone's so busy.

I find it rude when a child doesn't turn up to the party and the parents don't bother to let me know they are ill or something. A phone call on the morning of the party would be nice.

I am just pleased when my ds is asked to parties as we are working on his social skills.

I assume kids are coming unless I hear otherwise, no one is intentionally winding you up, just busy.

You mean your chauffer doesn't pick up the kids then take them down to your stables where nanny supervises dressage lessons and ice skating on your personal rink and you waft floatily about singing a few arias?

Sibling-related top tip, though - I hired the teenage sister of one of DS's friends as a party helper - at babysitting rates - best value party spending ever - she was fantastic (and I made her a party bag as well - she was thrilled ).

That's about the size of it, Maq!

Cluelessanchaos: that's interesting, I'm assuming they can't come if they haven't replied. Maybe I should look at it the other way around.

We were at a severe disadvantage with DS2. He has an August birthday so would hand out invitations at the end of term and people just forget!

piscesmoon try having one born Sep 4th! Bless his cottons hardly anyone turned up once and I'd booked a magican. Only good thing was we had lots of food to give away.

This year I'm taking phone numbers and ringing the mums/dads the week before they go back.

Ah yes non term (ds3 is in the summer hols also) birthdays are shite for aprties are they not?

We always go away when it's ds3's now, far easier

Strangely, not one of DS's class has a birthday in the summer holidays - just as well really as I can easily see myself completely forgetting about a party which I had said yes to 6 weeks beforehand

My own birthday is 27 Dec, and I can only remember having 1 birthday party. Maybe my ishoo is that I am not versed in kids party etiquette...