AIBU to be sad and shocked by this article?

[LittleDorrit]

Have just been reading this:

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

and I am shocked by the conditions this family is living in, but in particular how little/what sort of food they are able to afford.

It's not so much an AIBU issue, but just wondered whether others in similarly difficult circumstances think this is typical, or whether the mother could try to buy other types of food (e.g. rice, lentils, etc.) or perhaps be able to afford to spend a bigger proportion of her budget on food... £20 is very little.

my sons have no father (well he has but not one that is involved now)or grandparents, but i can absolutely guarantee you he will not be a feckless father himself just because his father is

thats a bit of a sweeping statement sweeping statement

so good i said it twice to press home my point lol

hmmm, not too sure she is standing on her own to feet tbh.
she is being supported by the state.
not saying she's not doing her best.

It could been argued that the benchmark of a so-called civilised society is the way its most vulnerable members are treated.

I'm starting to wonder how civilised this particular little online community really is. Some of the comments I've read on this thread have disgusted me.

FFS - have any of you ever BEEN to Hartcliffe?

It is one of the most deprived areas in Europe. Even the police won't go there without back-up. Dreadful schools. It is miles from the centre of Bristol. No decent shops and public transport is appallingly expensive - far worse than London.

Freecycle? Vegetable gardens? Allotments?

Use the library indeed - my arse . You don't walk ANYWHERE on that estate unless you really have to. Let me tell you something about the library in Hartcliffe. It was vandalised BEFORE it was even opened. And that was over 30 years ago.

Exactly, Fio! Because again, it's perfectly permissable and acceptable in British society and culture for a man to father children and then leave without paying a penny of support for them or their mother.

many i'm sure, but i wouldn't say i was standing on my own two feet.

If I was in that situation and somebody gave me a TV i'd sell and buy something more useful for my children. As it is I'm afraid I've seen that story a million times over and until the fathers are imprisioned for not paying child support it will never end, but equally she seems to be doing all she can to get herself out of the situation she can no doubt budget better than I can.
That story/photo doesn't strike me as particularly shocking.
Child poverty is defined as what these days, no PS3 ?
Go to even parts of Europe, Italy there you will see poverty.

why not buy pasta and rice instead of oven chips then?
not really rocket science is it.

Flitters - I've never been to Hartcliffe, but where I live we have some very deprived areas too. Unless you've been there and experienced it is it difficult to imagine just how different the people's lives are there to ours. I can thik of one health centre where the local kids barricaded the doors shut and tried to set fire to the place - thats during the day when it was full of patients. Hey - it was a laugh and they didn't have anything else to do...

I can't judge the girl in the article because I haven't walked in her shoes - thank God

i agree sorrento.
fathers should be imprisioned for not paying child maintinence, ffs, if you don't pay your tv license you get imprisioned, why not for not paying for your children?!!!

Sorrento - you'd be daft to sell the telly. You'd get F all for it and then be stuck with absolutely no entertainment at all for you or the kids - just bare walls to look at every night.

But there are whole streets, estates even where no-one has a regular father, and that is the norm.

My friend is a primary school teacher in a nearby town. There is only ONE child in her class whose parents are together. ONE.

All I'm saying is that it's easy to pillory the boys/men who father children and then absent themselves, but it's not simple. It's no longer a cultural expectation for the male to stick around.

"How many women on here would have to rely on the state if their husbands or partners buggered off?"

Not me! I work bl**dy hard to ensure that my ds has all that he needs. I am lucky that I am well educated (from uneducated parents who didn't want their children to end up the same). I wish ds's father would contribute a proper sum to ds (pays £50 but should pay £500 based on income calculation). Ds at aged 4 is more responsible than his father!

Sorrento, you seem to be implying that you'd rather this woman had absolutely no pleasure or downtime in life at all.

Is that what it says in the article?

Mrs Flittersnoop, I couldn't agree more.

Yours, Disgusted of Cheshire.

No, it's easy to pillory the mothers of these children, the way this woman has got it in the neck here.

And if it's not the cultural expectation that fathers will pay to support the children they father then things need to change.

Ds is the only one in his year without a father involved in his life .

Imprison the fathers? Is NO-ONE listening? They're not on the birth certificates!!!!!

Good luck to her indeed, and to her kids too.

But I think it's unrealistic to say that she is living like this because of bad teachers, social workers, careers advisors etc etc. She is presumably living like this becuase she was born into a background of aspirational poverty, where nobody encouraged her to study or to achieve.

Of course professionals must do all they can to break this vicious cycle, but they're up against ingrained values and culture.

Feckless father whines: I couldn't help sodding off and not contributing to my children's lives and wellbeing, it's not what's culturally expected of me...