AIBU to be sad and shocked by this article?

[LittleDorrit]

Have just been reading this:

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

and I am shocked by the conditions this family is living in, but in particular how little/what sort of food they are able to afford.

It's not so much an AIBU issue, but just wondered whether others in similarly difficult circumstances think this is typical, or whether the mother could try to buy other types of food (e.g. rice, lentils, etc.) or perhaps be able to afford to spend a bigger proportion of her budget on food... £20 is very little.

the poverty isn't the messy house and lack of money alone, it's all the circumstances that lead the family into not being able to cope with it and get out of it, it's the resources they don't have as people to change their lives. they are stuck at the bottom and they don't have the tools to get out, that is the real poverty. it's not just about getting a cloth out or whatever!

depending on the younger child's care needs (SN/LD was referred to in the article), the lady in the article might be entitled to more in benefits- DLA and Carer's Allowance for him.

when my dp and i first had ds he was working but with rent to pay and some arrears on bills we were really skint had to live off rubbish food as it lasted longer in freezer my flat looked a tip as i was depressed and down in the dumps with looking after child and having worries of money dp working all the time to try and get us back up

we had no storage in the flat at all so nothing had a place it was awful we really weren't living much different i was on pay as go always put money on my phone in case of emergency but also allowed me to contact my friends to keep me in touch as i was so down

its just showing people that some times people really do have to live like this we did this for about a yr until we paid off arrears we now have 2 bed flat can afford nice foods we have money spare but some friends of mine really do live like this

my friend just broke up with her partner has 2 children after benefits and bills she actually had 2.50 a week father pays 25 pound which she doesnt see as it goes into benefits they only give her 60 pound a week and she now has credit card to survive as cant live on 2.50 she has 2 children needs phone has bills to pay on a total of just over 100 pound with tax credits

my friend has no way to use freecycle as she doesnt have internet and cant drive to pick up i think its easy in outr own personal circumstances and surrounding people that could help us do things but we must remember some people dont have this and dont have a surrounding support net work and really do have to live this way

I found that article very disturbing and I thought the mother sounded like she was doing her very best in dreadful circumstances. She is doing IT and literacy courses to try and help herself but she does seem to be in a trap. I wish I could help her.

It seemed awful that she could not think of any of her ex-classmates in decent jobs.

StewieGriffinsMom - thank you so much . Your post was really helpful. I'm going to contact my local SureStart today and take it from there. I may even start up a new thread somewhere on here or maybe a blog and see if I can inspire other people to get up and do something.

This thread has been one of the most depressing and soul destroying I've ever read on mn (and I've been here for years!).

great post SGM

Pheebe, if you read back, you will find that I asked if there might be any mumsnetters in the Bristol area who might have some of the items of furniture Louise needs gathering dust or looking for a good home. I mentioned that I do actually have a table and chairs that, were I in that area, could go to Louise, but that, as I live in Scotland, I will be finding a furniture recycling charity to donate these to.

I have already contacted the Salvation Army to offer these items and am waiting for an answer. So you're not the only one.

I read this article last night after i returned from Asda, where I had spent £55 on the weekly shop for DH and I, and had been congratulating myself that it was less than the previous weeks £65.

I then felt sickened with myself as I read about Louise' shopping for herself and 2 children on £20 a week. It is truly hearbreaking that in this day and age there are families in this country surviving like this.

I am utterly disgusted by some of the nasty, ill-informed and 'judgy' comments on this thread. A bag of lentils and allotment, FFS! Louise herself was raised in exaqctly the same environment as she is rasing her own children! Do you think she was raised ona diet of lentils and homegrown veg? Do you think she would know what to do with them even if an allotment landed in the middle of her estate? she buys ove chips and pies because a) they wont go off and b) she knows what to do with them.

This girl is completely isolated from any kind of support network- she can't even afford the bus fare to see her own mother. Talk of OU degrees is fanciful at best- she is caugfht up in a cycle of simply surviving and ekeing out what little money she has. Good on her for doing her GCSEs- I reckon its more than I would manage in her shoes.

As pheebe pointed out- her and StewieGriffinsMom are the only people as far as I can see to offer any practical advice on how people who are better off can help more disadvantaged people.

Im in the North east- very far from Bristol! but im sure there are people in my town just as disadvantaged as Louise. I have old furniture- happy to give it away.

Those of us who can afford to- and we know who we are (relative to Louise's poverty)an we please say that today- we will make one phone call, we will do one small thing, we will give a small amount to help someone in her position.

I have rng the council this morning to enquire about givign furniture/other items to those in need. Its a drop in the ocean but if everyone reading this thread dioes it...

sorry stayingsunnygirl missed your earlier post re: practical help.

Please all add your message here- ok its not practical help but it is a message to the Government that child poverty has to stop.

www.endchildpoverty.org.uk/promise

"Talk of OU degrees is fanciful at best- she is caugfht up in a cycle of simply surviving and ekeing out what little money she has
"

Why is it fanciful - she is on benefits, she would get undergraduate courses for free, plus she would be entitled to the course grant (£255 at the moment), and quite probably a PC grant as well.

She wouldn't even need to commit to doing a full degree, many of the (60 point) level 1 courses give you a recognised certificate at the end of them. They offer shorter diplomas as well.

It's costing me nothing to do my course, if I'd done a course at my local college I would have ended up having to pay for bus fares and quite probably childcare too.

I think the article was also trying to point out the failure of the government's 'commitment' to eradicate child poverty.

Let's face it, which governement minister has the slightest understanding of this level of hardship? It seems to me that MPs don't even consider themselves the same breed as "poor" people. That is essentially the problem in Britain today. Whilst MPs are out for expensive lunches thanks to the tax payers, this family (and plenty) are budgeting to the last penny remarkably, some not as brilliantly as this lady.

I feel angry and sad about this. I know that my family are living below the breadline, but we hide it well! Lack of money stops me from feeling as involved in the society around me. It is not about tables, allotments etc.. It has to be about self confidence and being able to escape the cycle.

Yes she needs a mobile phone that works - communication is important! I don't expect she is sitting at her computer on mumsnet right now communicating as we have are!

Good on her for managing so well.

Do you think though anyone has ever sat her down and TOLD her she would be able to do it for free? How on earth would she ever know that she has access to these services?

As someone mentionned earlier, its not so much that the help isn't there- its the lack of knowledge that the help even exists.

not they probably haven't - but that doesn't mean that talk of OU courses is "fanciful".

Is this woman honestly being judged for not having a dining table? In a society where the majority of people sit on the sofa to eat their dinner, it is possible that has never occurred to this young woman that she needs a dining table.

Why are we always so quick to have ago at people who dont fit the middle class ideal, she doenst smoke or drink she is trying to do her best by her kids and if she knows her kdis will definately eat pie and chips it would be quite a leap for her risk wasting money on making a lentil casserole.

Ok Jenski, so what would help do you want ? our old sofa's, a cash handout, what would make a difference to you ?

ooo - morning Sorrento - my HB was in my account this morning - phew .

As someone mentionned earlier, its not so much that the help isn't there- its the lack of knowledge that the help even exists.

You are just plain wrong on that i'm afraid, I landed back in the UK with my 5 week old baby and joined at the GP's practice where the health visitors, sure start co ordinator and even the receptionist say me down and went through everything with me, they obviously thought I had a brain and a bit about me and could do something with my life, maybe our Louise isn't capable of an OU degree ? But she had the chance to work in childcare and could indeed take her own children to work if she could get herself together.

Oh god news FAQ, I have an interview at 12 so kick me off if i'm still here at 10.30am would you

Good news not god news, i think about that organ of yours again that came out wrong too

The article said she is doing classes to improve her literacy.

Why not leave her to get on with that rather than spend time and energy on enrolling her on hypothetical OU degrees?

IIRC her grades for GCSEs were Fs or thereabouts. I have sat in on GCSEs as reader/scribe and I can assure you that an F grade at GCSE is a very, very low standard indeed.

Let the poor woman walk before she can run FGS.

Clulessnchaos - I don't think that people are judging Louise for not having a dining table - I think we are judging the society that lets a young woman struggle to bring up children in poverty like that and unable to afford what is a reasonably basic piece of furniture.

Balloon - nobody would disagree with you there the OU things was discussing our posters plans for the future really not Louise.

I certainly will - we can kick each other off as I need to turn my "squalor" into a half respectable looking house before DH comes round to use my washing machine - well I don't have to - but I'd like to

And yes it was "god" news hehe.

Now that wasn't my experience when I came back to the UK (4 months pg at the time). I wasn't told about anything, I was lucky I had internet access and was able to find out stuff on my own.

Unfortunately while some Primary care providers are excellent at giving information to people like yours an equal number don't ime.

Likewise when I started getting IS, I saw the lone parent advisor who did a better off calculation and agreed that with the age of my children I would be currently better off staying at home (due to childcare costs etc). She never mentioned anything about courses or further education. I found out about the OU help off my own back - because thankfully I had decent school education behind me.

And often sadly, especially in areas such as Hartcliffe, advice and facilities to get advice are hard to come by.