AIBU to be sad and shocked by this article?

[LittleDorrit]

Have just been reading this:

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/mar/18/child-poverty-labour-eradicate-promise

and I am shocked by the conditions this family is living in, but in particular how little/what sort of food they are able to afford.

It's not so much an AIBU issue, but just wondered whether others in similarly difficult circumstances think this is typical, or whether the mother could try to buy other types of food (e.g. rice, lentils, etc.) or perhaps be able to afford to spend a bigger proportion of her budget on food... £20 is very little.

I don't get the oven chips thing either, when I was cooking on a budget it was the proteins and certain veg that cost money rather than the starches. You could save a bit by never eating oven chips but not much.

Sorrento you are soooooooo right.

Oh and I'm not critising because she's on benefits, we are too I'm pointing out that some people live on benefits and are still good, hard working parents who do their absolute best under difficult circumstances and many many more do not and no amount of throwing cash at them would change that.

Wow! How judgemental!

You only know what has been written, that's it, no more! I can't even be bothered to argue any more.

The lack of sympathy on this thread by some people is amazing. Well done to all of you on benefits that manage, but hey, not everyones life starts out the same does it?

And yes, I was on benefits once.

Gordon Brown (and Tony Blair before him) bleat on about "lifting children out of poverty" - by throwing more money at their parents. Problem is, the children don't get the money - their parents do.

Cor blimey there's some horrid stuff in this thread. Why on earth does anyone give a fuck about the state of her front room, if it is even her front room? Or her TV - god this bugs me - tvs come up every single bloody time there is a thread like this on mN - some people buy tellies when they've got a lot of money and then their circumstances change, some people get given tellies, some people manage to buy really nice looking tellies really cheap. You can't just go judging a woman on her tv ffs.

I think people should be a bit more sympathetic. I think she's clearly trying to do the best she can in a shit set of circumstances, and I hope to god I don't ever end up in her situation because I wouldn't cope at all. And we should all be wary of judging her, lest we end up in her situation. Bully for you if you think it could never happen to you but I imagine it'll probably happen to a lot more people over the next few years if the doom and gloom about the financial situation is right.

And tbh, why we are even getting caught up in her story anyway? She's just there to illustrate the points made surely. The article is about the fact that there is an astounding level of poverty that hundreds or thousands or more children live in, in this very country, and we are bickering about whether or not she could get a table from freecycle? Really?

Sorrento,why would she do that? Would a mum the same age sat in her nice 3 bed semi on the smart new estate do the same? Or is that not the done thing?

Sorry why would she do what ?

Thats a good post mindalina. Especially about how things can change. I found myself typing on a laptop, surrounded by my new £600 laura ashley curtains, in a new house [big splurge for us] - yet with £60 for all the family to live on. Bonkers and unreal.

Some of the responses on this thread are very heartless and show astonishing ignorance. They remind me of a particularly odious and thick-headed hooray-henry tosser I went to college with who told a beggar "if you were that hungry you'd eat your dog"

Depressing that so many people are still so childishly unaware of the realities of trying to do your best for your children with fuck all resources. This mum loves her children just as much as you love yours, she's just got no money and no prospects. It must be heartbreaking and bloody tiring to be her. Those of you making remarks about her blowing money on fags (she doesn't smoke Sorrento, did you read the article? Can you read?) and criticizing her food choices - you make me sick

Can I read ? Can you ? I wasn't talking about her smoking, I made nothing but positive comments about this lady if you read what is written rather than what you like to get your knickers twisted about.

"By Sorrento on Wed 18-Mar-09 16:40:55
I agree Jean, somebody give this woman £500 and sit back and watch.
I've seen it a million times, the first thing bought will be loads of pop and crisps and sweeties for the babbies, followed by a pair of adidas trainers each for the kids and then more tat. The electricity metre tokens and food for freezer would be bought after 20 fags."

That is you, is it not?

She has made her choices and has to live with them. She didn't have to have kids at 18.

The article reminded me of that C4 show Rich Girl Poor Girl where the poor household didn't have a bed for the 4 year old

"She has made her choices and has to live with them"

Your compassion is overwhelming

Ok so she'd save five quid on the fags everything else applies I have no doubt at all.
I've live surrounded by these people, have you ?

Flittersnoop, I'm with you on this thread - I was depressed enough after reading the article, but some of the responses here have really knocked the wind out of my sails today...I'm logging out for today I think.

I'd much rather live next door to her than you Sorrento, I think - she is resourceful, clever, determined, persistent and cares about her kids. All I know about you is that you hold aggressively stupid views and have no compassion.

Can't see why those who aren't on benefits are so shocked! It's not the cushty life some of the media would have you all believe is it!??

Can I just ask why you think she is clever?

'Louise' is an intelligent adult and is responsible for her own actions. Her biggest problem seems to be the absence of her children's dad, which is outside her control.

There have been some really useful suggestions on this thread. Cheaper and healthier food choices are easy to make.

What are us posters supposed to do - wring our hands and weep? Isn't it better to suggest how she can help herself? She doesn't sound like she wants to be a victim to me.

And good luck to her, studying is fantastic, my point is only that it's no good throwing money at the situation and I'm afraid your old furniture won't be wanted either.
Education is the key.

Clever because she is able to manage a very delicate and difficult budget - I've done a lot of that and there's a knack to it, you have to be fairly good at mental arithmetic to be able to get it right when you're knackered, demoralised and are trying to raise two children under shit circumstances. And how she manages to get up the wherewithall to turn up to adult education classes as well I don't know. She's a trooper as far as I'm concerned.

"I've live surrounded by these people, have you ? "

Oh this always comes up as well. Yes thanks I have. Grew up on one of the shittiest council estates in Kent, actually.

And from my experiences, I will say: a lot of people there were just not that bright. Sad but true. Doesn't make them bad people. Does mean they will likely struggle with things like budgeting and nutrition. Those on estates like that that are bright, well they've got no hope anyway. Schools in areas like that are shite - the one in my town only took kids up to 16 - no point educating them beyond that if the best they can hope for is a job in Asda

(am prepared to flamed for saying this re: brightness but frankly i don't care. it is my experience and that is that.)

And as goes for your comment about her spending money on sweets for the kids - jesus why the hell shouldn't she if she came into a bit spare cash - it is horrible to not be able to give your kids something they want, and she can never give her kids the material stuff they want. Very sad, and how horrible of you to (theoretically) begrudge her that even though you claim to have been in her situation.