not to want to take other people's kids on holiday when I'm 8 months pregnant...

[peachyfox]

For the last two years, since I've been with DP, we've taken his 2 nephews and niece on their summer holiday. The children (one from his sister who is an orphan and the other two are his brother's and live with their mum). The kids really look forward to it and we always take them somewhere nice to the beach.
We talked about this year's holiday last year and a destination was mentioned that got them all excited (they'd never been abroad before we started doing this).
Then in December I got pregnant and I'm due in August. We'll be living in a foreign city then (i.e. away from friends and family).
Yesterday visiting the kids my DP started talking about the holiday in August! I gave him my WTF look at which point he remembered our first born will be arriving that very month. Not to be deflated, he suggested perhaps the kids could come to stay with us (plenty of room) in said foreign city (not known for its beauty) instead and we could go on lots of nice day trips, swimming at the lakes. The kids said great, but looked a bit gutted.
This is my first baby, I'm 41.
n the way home I had to explain to DP that due dates are not formal eviction notices and the baby could arrive before. Also, although my pregnancy has been very healthy with no sickness or tiredness, things can go wrong. And at over 8 months I might not feel like sitting in a car for hours, running round after the kids (11, 12 and 15), cooking etc. while huge. One of the reasons I haven't been tired is that I don't have to do stuff like that!
DP then suggested we went during half term (when is that?), when we can still go abroad and give them their beach holiday.
I woke up in the night thinking, I don't even want to do that, I want to relax, take it easy, and although I want my DP on hand, near the appointed hospital, etc. Also, we've always split the cost of the holiday between us but I won't be able to afford it this year and if did have spare cash I wouldn't mind a grown-up holiday for me and DP.
I know this is selfish, we've always been happy to take them before and had a really good time, but I just can't face it this year, what with settling into a new city, giving birth away from home, etc.
Am I unreasonable/horrible/selfish?

Sounds like you've come up with a good plan now peachyfox (may half term).
My DH has an 18 yr old niece whose parents have separated and her mother (my sil) doesn't have any other family support. She doesn't get on with her stepdad well. It was important when we got together and had kids 7 years ago (all happened very quickly) that he carried on offering both her and his sister the emotional support he already was, but we had to channel this differently. So he replaced the annual fortnight trip to Disneyland, with inviting her over to stay at convienient (to us!) times and have some fun but with our children as well, plus the odd long w/e to eurodisney. We spend less money than he used to but still try to be generous, such as mobile phone and contract for 16th bday, laptop for 18th, and we're about to offer a book allowance for uni. We're also, now she's 18, planning on asking her to be godmother to our 4th child, due soon! She's lovely with her little cousins and I feel it could all have gone horribly wrong, if we'd suddenly overlooked her. Saying that, the way we give her special treats has changed along with our growing family and circumstances.
I'm sure you'll find creative ways to still include and cherish DP's sibling's children, but those ways will have to change.

I think it just sounds like bad timing and agree you should do something early next year, rather than add extra stress to your pregnancy, don't make the kids feel like you're ditching them to make your own family. They are old enough to understand that you may not be able to give them the attention that you want to, and will be able to do more fun things if you postpone the trip. they will be dissapointed but them learning to wait won't do them any harm.

The thing is, two of them are fine, in fact their mum told them they wouldn't be going on holiday with us when she heard I was pg, but the other one of the nephews, the one who is being brought up by DPs mum, would be devastated. He'll come and live with us in a year or two anyway.
Thanks for all your posts, given me lots of perspective...