To think that DS's use of the F word really wasn't all that bad?

[smudgethepuppydog]

He's 17, he was being treated unjustly and in a moment of fury he fired off a text to his girlfriend swearing about how much he 'fucking hated' something (not someone). Only trouble was he sent it to his dad instead of his girlfriend. Now my OH is going on about how we should have a word with him about toning down his texts .

DS is 17. He used the word once and in context and OH isn't opposed to using the word himself when pushed. I don't think we're really in the position to take the moral high ground on this or am I wrong?

Using swearing in context is a gift and should be cherished and encouraged.

I thought this post was going to be about a 7 year old or some such...if the language is all there is to worry about I think you're doing very well.

well, his dad is his parent too, not just you. If he thinks it appropriate to tell his son off for swearing I don't understand why you aren't backing him.

He's 17, I agree with GiantKateStacks, if this is all there is to worry about with him you've done well!

Perhaps just tell him to check his phone nos more carefully? Swearing in carefully chosen context is fine, I think.

If the mother thinks it's not appropriate to tell their son off for swearing I don't understand why the father isn't backing her.

What's the difference?

What's wrong with talking to him about being careful with his language? As long as your dh isn't wanting to harangue him I don't see the big deal. Of course a 17 year old is going to swear, but that doesn't mean it is a good thing, and learning to be careful who you text/email by accident is even more of a good thing.

i dont see a problem

i very rarely swear but have to smile when i think of the time i told my nasty evil step dad who had just declared he had another woman (he didnt) to "Go and Fck someone elses mother"... I meant it exactly* as i said it

(this was in responce to him telling my own mother to F*ck off)

Oh lord, my 4 year old has just started saying 'Wankyou' instead of 'Thankyou', thought this was going to be a similar thing.
TBH his dad should keep his beak out. The text wasn't meant for him so it's none of his business.

My 4 year old announced to everyone last year that we had seen "Wanky Twanky" at the pantomime.

Anyway, YANBU but (imo) your OH is being a tiny bit unreasonable.

I think there's a huge difference between saying something like "I'm so fucking annoyed" and "You're a fucking nightmare" or "I fucking hate you".

In the first it's to vent and let off steam, and in the second it's to underline an already unpleasant statement.

So, imo, not that bad really. I wouldn't want my son to pepper his spoken language with the f word though.

I don't think I ever recall DS using the word in my presence (though I'm not daft enough to think he doesn't ever say it) he certainly doesn't use it in conversation at home.

He was using it about a situation and TBH in his sitaution at the time I'd probably have sworn too.

He now knows to be more careful about checking who he's sending to but then I've occasionally sent texts to the worng person and so have most people I know.

His dad has chilled now and can see that in the grand scheme of things it ain't that much of a crime.

If my son texting the 'Fucking' word is all I will have to worry about when he reaches the age of 17, I will count myself blessed.