Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about a T-Shirt?

26 replies

muggglewump · 13/03/2009 16:48

I'm sure I've mentioned repeatedly once or twice that I hate my job and the people I work with but today, more than others really got to me.
We were asked earlier in the week to wear something red for Comic Relief. Fine, no problem.
The owner however bought Comic Relief T-Shirts for everyone except for me because they don't come in my size. Yes, yes, I'm short and thin but the shirts weren't that big. I'd have had an apron on like everyone else and they didn't really fit anyone properly. It's not like they are identical sizes.
Surely she could have bought me one anyway, would it really have mattered if it was too big?

Am I being really silly for be upset by this?

I really did stand out as the only one out of 7 of us without a T-Shirt and had to explain to all the customers why I didn't have one.

(As an aside, I had to donate my tips too which I was told rather than asked and it pissed me right off)

OP posts:
laweaselmys · 13/03/2009 16:49

That's really rude, , did anybody else stick up for you?

Also off that they made you donate your tips. It should be your choice as they are yours.

traceybath · 13/03/2009 16:50

yanbu - can you look for another job?

belgo · 13/03/2009 16:50

That is annoying. Has she got something personal against you?

And I don't think it's right that you have to donate your tips. Do your customers know this?

Hulababy · 13/03/2009 16:51

That is really off of your boss. She sounds horrible.

Lawks · 13/03/2009 16:51

That's crap. Tshirts can be uber baggy. What would it matter?

TheCrackFox · 13/03/2009 16:51

YANBU

Oh and don't donate your tips.

Homebird8 · 13/03/2009 17:00

I think your boss is probably uber-baggy. It's not nice to discriminate against anyone because of their size!

loobeylou · 13/03/2009 17:08

imagine the uproar if this had happened to someone big who they could not get a Tshirt to fit.....your boss sounds well out of order

Fimbo · 13/03/2009 17:09

She could have bought you a large child one.

How nasty.

Original poster
muggglewump · 13/03/2009 17:12

My boss is a cow not nice woman.
It's a just a bizzarre place to work. There's a hierarchy of staff, what's fine one day isn't the next and you never know from day to day who will speak to you.
I am looking for another job of course, I hate it.
I just feel so ridiculous. I'm 31 yet I'm upset over a T-Shirt.
I'm not stingy either but surely I can choose which charities to support and what I do with my tips.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 13/03/2009 17:16

Those tips are yours and your boss has no right to tell you what to do with them.

You may have to work there, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with that kind of shit. Start sticking up for yourself, be frank. If someone isn't speaking to you, ask outright why. If someone is rude, speak out in front of everyone else, ask what it is you have done and could they please be civil and professional at work. Once you start speaking out, you'll gain respect from your work colleagues and you may well find others follow suit.

It's bad enough that you have to do a job you don't like, there's no need for these people to make it worse for you.

Original poster
muggglewump · 13/03/2009 17:23

Our tips are shared as in we have a tip plate by the till and at the end of each day they are split equally between all staff but I still wasn't asked if mine could be donated.
I would have said yes as it happens but that's not the point, I should have been asked.

You are right Rhubarb, I need to start speaking out. I've put up with this for months for an easy life but I don't want to do it anymore.
It's a pants job, a job I need unfortunatly or I wouldn't still be there but that doesn't mean I need to carry on like this.

OP posts:
smudgethepuppydog · 13/03/2009 18:05

That's very rude of the owner. My DD is a petite size 6 and if her boss treated her that way I'd be very hurt for her. The t-shirts come in all sizes from child through to adult so I'm sure there would've been one to fit you.

whoingodsnameami · 13/03/2009 18:09

Your boss sounds vile, are you sure the tips are going to charity? Very judgemental I know, but had to ask.

Original poster
muggglewump · 13/03/2009 18:50

Apparently there was only large and X large left but still could she not have bought me one so I wasn't left out?
I felt and looked left out. I still made an effort, I had red hair clips (borrowed from DD), a red pen and red shoes, plus the red T-Shirt I wore was mine. Everyone else just wore the T-Shirt they were bought.
Of course I won't be thanked for my effort though.
I don't mind donating to CR, it's something aside from having to (School/Beavers) that I would give to anyway, and did whilst watching the Kilimanjaro climb last night but still, it's not the point.
My tips, my choice.
Yet again, I let them walk all over me.
I could live with it if I was paid loads but it's £6 an hour in a Coffee shop where I regularly have to tell the staff what things such as "pancetta", or "ale" are.
Gahhhh. I hate it so much

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 13/03/2009 18:55

YOu aren't upset about a t-shirt - you are upset by being left out. Quite understandable, so no YANBU.

I hope you find something more enjoyable soon, but in the mean time I think you should assert yourself. (easy for me to say from here, I know!)

Original poster
muggglewump · 13/03/2009 19:59

You're right, I am upset at being left out.
I feel embarrassed though as I'm an adult and I am upset at something so daft.

I tell myself daily that I will be more assertive, I say it on here and then I go to work and do pathetic smiles and get treated like crap or ignored.

I need help to not be a pushover

OP posts:
smurfgirl · 13/03/2009 20:02

I am sorry, its horrid to be left out, I really feel for you. Unfair about your tips as well.

I would look around for something nicer.

Original poster
muggglewump · 13/03/2009 21:15

I've been for two interviews. The first, an admin job wanted someone who could drive. I do have a driving license, I haven't driven for 13 years, I was honest about it.
The second was a cleaning job, they required you to have a car!

I'm thinking that the job I really want, CA in a Primary School that I've applied for, I'm not even getting an interview for. The cut off date was two weeks ago.

I try to keep my head up, I really do. I'm not dim, I don't have a degree, nor qualifications to get me a good job but I'm better than being bullied working as a waitress.

OP posts:
PrammyMammy · 13/03/2009 21:40

mugggle, i have read the thread and from your first post thought to myself your job sounds too much like mines, then i got to the pancetta and laughed because you are describing my job. So i checked your profile, and your from Scotland also.. scary. You're not from Falkirk are you?
Sorry that was a bit off topic.

Have you ever looked into doing CAP courses? I do one in childcare, it is one morning a week, but my sister who also does it, applied to another course through the lady that runs the CAP courses and she is now a CA in a primary school, she had no previous experiance in working with children, only coffee shops.

Original poster
muggglewump · 14/03/2009 12:32

CAP courses?
I've done word processing and Excel courses recently at my local adult learning centre, just to brush up on my sakills really and have something on paper to say I've done something recently as I've only been back at work 6 months. I was a SAHM for 7 years prior to getting this job.
It really is the pits though but I don't want to go back on benefits and that's the only alternative until I can find another job.

OP posts:
friday32 · 14/03/2009 12:45

Iam glad i am not the only one who hates her job!in this case ia would noy have donated my tips the whole point is its voulantary not compulsary and as for the t-shirt the boss sounds jealous of your figure to me.

oregonianabroad · 14/03/2009 12:50

muggglewump,

that is really lousy and I'm sorry you are having a bad time.

is there a college near you? often they provide courses (esp for CA); and my experience has been that it is a great way to get a foot in the door employment-wise. You might start out as a volunteer, or someone knows someone who knows someone...

hope that helps.

WestMidsAccounts · 14/03/2009 12:58

Keep a note of this and other instances of unfair behaviour. Then use it for a constructive dismissal claim against her.

Melscorp · 14/03/2009 13:10

Muggglewamp, I do feel for you!! I agree with all the others. Your boss is quite RUDE!!! I would make a note of it too.

What is a CAP?

Swipe left for the next trending thread