To be annoyed with family not coming to DS 1st birthday party?

[haemomum]

I sounded out family about this party in January, they all know the date of his bday and I said the party would more than likely be the sat after. I really wanted my cousin's daughter to come, we've made the effort to get to all her parties (100s of miles away). But she has apparently got another party to go to so can't come to ours. AIBU to be a bit miffed? They never mentioned another party back in January

Maybe they have only just been invited to the party and didn't know about it when you asked re your DS's party. Also maybe your cousins daughter (assuming she is a little older than your DS) really wants to go to the party as all of her friends will be there.

I would be miffed too. The first birthday is always particularly special, you have the right to be annoyed as you checked with them before hand.

Oh and it's not like your DS will miss them, he wont know it is his first birthday. IMHO I think first b-day parties are more for the parents than the children who's b-day it is IYSWIM.

I think YABU (a little bit), DS won't have a clue, they live hundreds of miles away so I expect the cousin's daughter barely knows your DS and would prefer to go to her friend's party. Plus, they're only cousins, it's not like DS's dad is missing it or anything. Maybe just don't make so much effort in future to get to all their parties. DS just needs his closest family there anyway

I don't blame you for being p'd off - you arranged it first and they don't seem to have remembered.

haemomum - I don't think YABU. 1st birthdays are more than likely more for the parents than the child so why shouldn't your family be there for you? As you say, you've made the effort to get to all your cousin's daughter's parties. I would be miffed also. I hope it doesn't set a precedent for future years and that when DS is old enough to understand that it is his special day they will be there to make a fuss of him.

But the cousins daughter sounds like she is older than the op's DS and maybe she really wants to go to her friends party where all her other friends will be.

Frankly, we were relieved when DP's brother, SIL and kids didn't come to DD's first birthday - they had accepted the invitation but cried off the day before. It was much easier just to have the few babies we'd invited and their parents than to deal with older kids as well. In fact only MIL and my sister came in the end, as my parents were ill and FIL and SMIL were away. Much better that way!

YABU, sorry.
They wouldn't have known about the other party in Jan though. A few weeks notice is surely fairly standard for childrens' parties - no? If someone had mentioned a child's party to me in Jan that wasn't for months I would just say "Yeah, sounds great" without giving it any further thought.
You obviously put a lot of emphasis on children's parties if you travel hundreds of miles to attend them, but I think you will find that very few people feel so strongly about them.

YABU. I wouldn't expect people, even family, to want to go a party for a 1 year old who won't know or care if they are there.

YABU. I wouldn't expect a coisins daughter to go to a one year olds party.

haemomum - Anyway, Happy birthday to your DS - hope you all have a lovely day!

I wouldnt travel hundreds of miles for a first birthday party - first birthdays are mainly about the parents as the child has no idea.

If the cousin is older a friends party will be much more exciting than a baby party and without the long journey.

What we did was have 3 birthday parties in the end !
One for dh family
One on actual day with friends
One for my family

Dd had no idea it was her birthday anyway!

How old is your cousins daughter?