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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think charity workers should just be able to take no for an answer

50 replies

mylifemykids · 13/03/2009 12:46

I've just had a knock at the door from a PDSA charity worker. Trying to donate £100,000 a month bla bla (yeah I wasn't really listening). I had the following conversation with him

PDSA: Do you have pets?
MLMK: Only fish
PDSA: And the kids of course
MLMK decides to let that comment go with a
PDSA: The response from the neighbourhood has been fantastic
MLMK thinks 'yeah right look at the manky cats roaming the street'
PDSA: Can we count on you for your support
MLMK: Sorry I can't afford to donate to charity at the moment, if I could I'm not entirely sure it would be an animal charity anyway.
PDSA: Like I said the support in the neighbourhood has been brilliant and most people don't mind giving up a little something a month to donate £2. Surely you can think of something you could sacrafice?
MLMK: Not really, we're on a tight budget as it is
PDSA: Are you serious? Can you really not think of one thing you could give up for £2 a month?
MLMK: No I can't!
PDSA: I don't believe you but I'll leave you to Jeremy Kyle now!!
MLMK slams the door with a slightly bemused look on her face

Surely these charity workers should be able to tell one someone really isn't interested and not pester them! The fact I was eating a dry slice of bread when I answered the door should have been a clue really

OP posts:
mumOfTheYearNOT · 13/03/2009 12:49

YANBU

DesperateHousewifeToo · 13/03/2009 12:50

How rude

Him, not you.

And I just wanted to use emoticon because I think it looks like someone with chicken pox

pooter · 13/03/2009 12:51

that's so rude - they are knocking on your door, without and invitation, then proceed to pester you and make snidey comments!! I would complain about them TBH.

Hope it didn't ruin your day. I brood about things like that. YANBU!

Songbird · 13/03/2009 12:53

God this annoys me. For all he knows you could be an anonymous donor of £1000s a year to any number of charities, animal or other . They're so judgemental! I had one when I was (visibly) pregnant - a bloke from Sense stopped me on the street. 'Don't you care about deaf and blind children?' I did say 'hey that's not fair' but I still signed up - I was very emotional and vulnerable at the time!

Cies · 13/03/2009 12:54

How rude

I hate people who knock on your door or stop you in the street for these things. I've often said to them that I'm not going to make a snap decision to spend money on something. They can give me a leaflet and I'll think about it. Are they satisfied? Are they heck!

on your behalf.

Songbird · 13/03/2009 12:54

So to sum up, no, YANBU

Sara85 · 13/03/2009 12:57

YANBU that's disgraceful! Thats' worse than the people who set up camp in the middle of the high street and block your path no matter how much you try to avoid them, and just can't take the hint when you avoid eye contact, tell them you're in a hurry, etc.

TsarChasm · 13/03/2009 12:59

She sounds so consumed by doggies and moggies she's lost touch with reality

Simplysally · 13/03/2009 12:59

YANBU - I had someone from an animal shelter knock on my flat door once (this in a secure block ) and badger me for money, saying my neighbours had given generously. I asked for a leaflet but they didn't have one for some reason. They wanted me to set up a dd for them.

I think that they were genuine as I did google it afterwards but I objected to being interrupted at home. I know that they have to work for every penny they get... but...

andyrobo237 · 13/03/2009 13:02

I have the answer - I dont open the door!!

I also dont answer the phone much unless I know the number and we have caller id as well

Those door to door ones are as bad as the ones in the street that run after you with their clipboards!

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/03/2009 13:11

TsarChasm

That should read 'HE sounds so consumed by doggies and moggies'! Didn't I mention it was a man?!

andyrobo, I wasn't going to answer the door when I saw it was someone with a clipboard wearing a blue bib but the middle door creaked loudly so I figured I couldn't NOT answer!!

OP posts:
TsarChasm · 13/03/2009 13:13

Oh wooops yes 'he' not 'she'. Just as bonkers though.

purplemunkey · 13/03/2009 13:15

YANBU - they do a valuable job but should have some manners and be able to take no for an answer.

I'm always very polite to the fund raisers on the street and just smile and say 'no, sorry'. I already donate to several charities via DD and don't want to sign up to any more right now and even if I did, I personally don't like the idea of giving my bank details to someone on the street during my lunch break! Most just take no for an answer but if any are ever persistent I get rude. Most of them are on commission, so it's not like they are completely doing it out of the kindness of their hearts.

One Oxfam rep get very aggressive with me in Victoria Station once. I was waiting for my train to be designated a platform and as he approached I did my usual smile and 'no, sorry' and he started ranting! - 'Don't just say no, you didn't even let me speak! Don't be so rude!'. The cheek! I said, 'I'm not being rude, I'm standing here waiting for a train, I am not in the frame of mind to be approached about your charity right now sorry, so I politely said no' but he wouldn't let it go and kept ranting, he must have had a bad day but I couldn't believe it! I wanted to report him to the charity but decided against it.

Longtalljosie · 13/03/2009 13:21

YANBU - that's dreadful!

Complain to your local PDSA. The last thing they'd want is people going around to people's homes and insulting them.

My friend who worked for a children's charity told me that many people who do the "chugger" thing in the street are on commission - so a proportion of your standing order goes to them. So I always say to them - sorry, if I do decide to donate to (insert charity name) I'll set up the standing order myself, so I'm not also paying a commission. They usually drop you like a hot potato and run away.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 13/03/2009 13:23

I once said to someone on the doorstep that I do not sign up for things with people on the doorstep.

He said, 'oh, well, I'd come in then'.

I'd be tempted to ask for their details and contact the charity about them. No wonder some of the neighbours gave generously, they were almost browbeaten into it. Lots of people would find this situation very intimidating to deal with.

Cartoose · 13/03/2009 13:24

"I'll leave you to Jeremy Kyle now!! "

That's incredibly rude!!!

Hawkmoth · 13/03/2009 13:25

YANBU, but they ARE on commission (sp?). Which is why I send my money when and where I want to.

2cats2many · 13/03/2009 13:26

YANBU. I always tell charity door-knockers to sod off. I give quite a bit to charity, but I'll decide who to and when.

I think people like your PDSA man give the charities they work for a really bad name. I agree with LTJ- report him to the PDSA.

Stayingsunnygirl · 13/03/2009 13:46

My friend and I were once approached in a restaurant, where we'd gone for a meal to celebrate my birthday. A charity worker came round the tables trying to collect money, and I declined politely, asking her to leave. She insisted on being 'allowed' to ask if my friend wanted to give, and when she refused too, the charity worker left the restaurant and stopped outside the window opposite us, and called me a bitch (I'm not very good at lipreading, but I got that!!)

I complained to the restaurant because I felt they shouldn't have let this woman come and pester diners, and they told me she'd come in without permission - they allow charities to leave leaflets or collection boxes, but not to pester their customers.

So no, you are definitely not being unreasonable, and I'd let the PDSA know what their worker said to you - an attitude like that is going to put people off giving, which is bad for the charity - they need to know! Likewise, I'd have complained if I'd been in purplemunkey's shoes too.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 13/03/2009 13:47

Very inappropriate of him to comment on your possible tv viewing habits

They do get on my nerves when they hunt you down on the high street, and I say that as someone who used to manage these fundraising campaigns on behalf of charities way back when this type of activity first started. The individuals definitely didn't used to be commission based back then but they certainly appear very much more driven (and desperate) these days.

One of my proudest moments was when I was heavily pregnant earlier this year and one of these over-eager-'I'm-your-friend'-fundraisers tried stopping me... I told him if I stopped walking I would probably pee on his feet - he had no quirky comeback to that! Ha!

Simplysally · 13/03/2009 13:55

I think it was just a line about the neighbours giving generously - I rarely see my neighbours myself so if she'd caught them in, I'd be surprised.

Mind someone had evidently let her into the block .

TheCrackFox · 13/03/2009 13:57

YANBU.

Personally, I wouldn't dream of giving my bank details to someone on the street/knocks at your door.

I do have a direct debit for a charity but one that is close to my heart. It was my decision, I hate being pressurised.

LoveBeingAMummy · 13/03/2009 14:14

YANBU - in fact after a similar encounter i did contact the charity as believed the person was doing damage to their repuatation.

Mspontipine · 13/03/2009 14:44

That's awful - did you catch the repeat on ITV2?

lilacclaire · 13/03/2009 14:50

A charity collector for the homeless stopped me on the street, I directed his gaze to the homeless man about 6 feet away from us and suggested that his organisation might want to go over and support that man instead of harrassing me (had already had the no conversation), he practically ran away from me.

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