DH has job offer in middle east, I have cold feet

[tryingnottoobsess]

DH & I have just returned from travelling, and agreed that whichever of us got a good job first, we'd take. He has got an offer of a good job in Bahrain, and I have got serious cold feet.

Edited back story: After 4 miscarriages in 18 months, I got made redundant last Sept. It had been a super stressful time, so DH resigned and we used the redundancy money to go to New Zealand for a 3 month holiday, which was amazing.

So now we've been back since christmas, living with my parents (yup, less than ideal) temping and applying for jobs. We'll move out when one of us gets work.

This is the only sniff of a job so far. Bahrain sounds great from everyone we've talked to. BUT...

But we've just started seeing a miscarriage specialist in london, and I don't want to stop. I'm 33, so we have a bit of time, but given our problems so far, I don't want to take a break from ttc.

And I still feel quite fragile and am afraid of being too far from my support network of family & freiends.

But DH thinks it is an amazing opportunity.

Thanks for reading, I'm genuinely confused about whether IABU?

what is your Job TNTO,would you also want to work there?what duration will dh stay?

understandable to have reservations,anyone would at such a massive change.

Things to consider

Recession here in UK,will dh career chances be improved by working in Bahrain?

you will need your own sponsorship and documentation to work.travelling on DH passport isn't enough. Most expatriate workers ? whether western or eastern ? are male. Their wives often have a restriction in their passport which prohibits them from working. Should the wives wish to work, they must obtain their own sponsorship and work visa, but employers tend to be biased against giving work visas to women. Women are often offered work (illegally) and, while this isn?t a major crime, it can result in the company being fined and the woman losing her job.

if you don't go.where do youy live?is you parents indefinite.still far from ideal though

given the recession here,would you consider a 12month stay in bahrain

they have good private health.you could get seen there

you have had a lot to contend with.MC, redundancy.maybe new job new environment would be fun

my knowledge of Bahrain is 2nd hand (never done it) has it's pro and cons

my friends enjoyed it but worked V Long hours
paid VV well

but V high rental costs

loved in a apartment block with other.or compounds all expatriates.all social circle was mainly US/UK/AUS

racism,prejudice to Indian/Asian workers.some treated badly

you absolutely have to be mindful of culture/religion.

good luck deciding

Totally feel for your dilemma but as lots of other people have said, it's a great opportunity and it may even do you good from the ttc point of view. I used to live in Oman and had fantastic fertility treatment there, my dr was a lovely Iranian woman who'd worked for the NHS for 20 years! Anyway, had IVF twice whilst there, both times successfully, 2nd time whilst packing up our entire house and getting ready to move back to UK after 10 years, so don't let the stress of moving worry you re ttc! Fertility in particular is very important to the Arabs and I'm sure there'll be good hospitals there. Incidentally, most of my treatment was cheaper there than it would have been in the UK!

I know several people who live/lived in Bahrain, you would most likely be living on a compound and prob in a flat as accommodation - as someone else has said - is very expensive there. Make sure you check out what kind of accommodation package they are giving you, you don't want to have to top it up from your own salary. We were going to move to Abu Dhabi but didn't for that very reason - not enough accommodation allowance. Prices in Bah in partic are crazy I understand.

Anyway, the expat lifestyle is really fab (oh how I miss it!!), actually especially before you have children! But there'll be loads of expat women out there who'll be able to help you with advice etc when you do get pregnant. Plus baby groups to join etc.

Finally, re employment - I had a friend who went to Bahrain to join her boyfriend and she found a job quite easily (she's in education) and they sorted out her visa etc. You might want to check, though, that you will be able to work on your husband's visa as there may be restrictions on that.

Also (sorry, just re-read your op!), check how many flight a year your dh will get. Many companies offer around three to their employee plus family so you might get that if you want to come back and see your specialist.

Good luck with it all and yes, definitely take the trip to see what you think, you'll get a stay in a hotel with a swimming pool in a lovely warm climate out of it at least!

did you go? am in a very similar position, but with 2 children to take too.