partner not taking child to dentist is driving me crazy!

[MaeBee]

my son is now 2 and 4 months and still hasnt been to the dentist. after a 'discussion', back in October, with my dp we agreed he would take him. this is because me and dp do 50/50 childcare,and i work whereas he doesn't, and dp won't go to toddler groups, and i am in charge of the doctor and sorting nurseries, childcare, all trips away, etc. so it seemed only reasonable to me that he would take him to the dentist.
when he didn't do it, i nagged him, we had some rows. i promised not to nag him until end of february, and he promised to do it by then. he didn't. last week we had another enormous barney over it. he says he will do it but i mustn't mention it.
now we have just agreed for me to take child to dr's for vaccinations he never had. and i couldn't help myself bringing up the dentist again. indeed, i said i would go on sex strike til he did. of course, predictably, dp is now all fuming again.
what do i do? do i just give in and book a visit and take child myself? even though i will have seething, lingering resentment over it? keep nagging? just not mention it ever again and feel anxious that child isn't going to get his teeth looked at?
this sounds so petty when i write it down but i guess its part of a bigger picture!

Morloth - very bad diet and not brushing or very inadequate brushing

If you have a nice friend who doesn't mind the dentist - send your dc with them each time then they will grow up and be able to take their dc to the dentist as they will not have issues or be scared.

does anyone know a good paediatric dentist in London?

I took DD2 to dentist just after her second birthday. I wouldn't leave it til 4 or 5, no way. DD1 had already developed serious decay problems with her enamel forming by then - leading to a very bad absess for example.

I didn't feed her sweets and coke by the way - honest! Dentist told me the enamel probably hadn't formed properly due to an infection.

MummyMole73

I saw John Roberts as a child and thought he was great - as was the hygenist set up at his practice - specially designed for children. Very much a preventative and educational paediatric dentist - I don't have any fillings!

www.paediatric-dentistry.co.uk/

this is also how it can happen morloth

fortunatly dd4 doesnt have any abcess or pain. but still feel pretty shitty about it

OP, just book the appointment yourself

MaeBee - have you tried just booking an appt and saying to DP 'the appointment is on XXX at XXX' - if it's booked then he can't get out of making it, and has NO excuse not to go. If he still doesn't then I'd be giving him a kick up the jacksy.

From what I've learned on MN though, if you're not worried about your DC then smile and nod at the HV and then don't give their advice a second thought.

It does sound like they do lots together though, even if it's not planned in the same way as you plan. It's probably nice for DS to have a mix of spontaneous activities with Dad and some planned activities with Mum

DD went to NHS dentist at 2. OH took her. No problem - only took a few seconds but kids teeth can rot very young so it can be good to check and it gets them used to going to dentist

OP - Why not make the appointment yourself but make it for suitable time for DH to take her. Yes, it's a little like being his secretary, but it may get job done? And if he skips it - well, you may need to post on MN again.

yes make the apt and then tell him, thats a good suggestion

i took my ds to dentist 1st time yday he is almost 2, but the dentist was not welcoming or nice to him so was very disappointed with the service and not happy, so make sure you get a good one. i will have to register mine elsewhere i think, not going back to that one

given that in the UK today children aged just 3/4 are having all their baby teeth removed due to them being rotted on a diet of sweets and fizzy drinks, i say shame on any dentist who does not see them from aged 1

it is an essential part of childcare,and importnat to get them into it before they are old enough to feel afraid etc - mine have all gone from before aged 1 and there has never been a problem with them not wanting to go - if your DP won't do it, you have to do it OP - this is about the child not your resentment

is your DP a bit phobic about dentists? I am . I have taken the DC but I hate doing it, just the thought brings me out in a cold sweat. I do most other things though so DH can't complain.

MaeBee, don't you and your DP go to the dentist yourselves? Just take your DS with you when you go. Mine came with me from being babies. They got used to the room, the dentist, the big chair, all before they actually needed any examinations themselves. Even when they were tiny, my dentist would let them sit on my lap in the chair and show him their teeth. I didn't make appointments for them until they were school age, they just came in on my appointment.

As others have said, I don't think the real issue here is the dentist. Clearly it's important to you and not to your DP so the obvious answer is to sort it yourself but the strength of your feeling on the matter suggests there may be underlying resentments.

Guys this thread is old! Someone has bumped it up

Aaagh! Why do people do that? Just start your own thread! Feel like I've completed wasted my pearls of wisdom now!