Why do we always want our parents approval (or is it just me?). I have posted many, many times about the complicated, yet in the main wonderful, relationship that I have with my mother. Possibly under my previous name, Pinkjenny.
My mum is the kind of person who is extremely concerned with looks, clothes and weight etc. For example, we'll be looking at pictures of Victoria Beckham and my mum will say, 'I don't think she's too thin', that kind of thing. She is also the kind of person who finds it impossible to hide her feelings. You know, if you say, 'Do you like it?' and she says, 'Mmm', then you know she doesn't, and it is usually written all over her face also.
I put a lot of weight on when I was pg with dd, and although she is nearly 2, I am still about three stone overweight. I realise that I do need to lose it, and am taking steps to do so, however, I am only a size 14-16, so not exactly enormous, but admittedly, I would like to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. My mum loves fashion, and whenever I would meet up with her would always be extremely complimentary, telling me she loved what I was wearing etc. But since I have put all this weight on, she never tells me I look nice, and makes lots of veiled references to my weight, and people that have lost weight and how wonderful they look etc.
Even as I am typing this, I feel ridiculous. Why do I need her approval? It's only as I've gotten older that I am starting to realise how judgmental she is, and she does it in other areas too, for example telling me she doesn't like magnolia when my walls are magnolia!
I know I need to lose weight, but I feel her unspoken disapproval all the time.
How can I shake it off?