Am I being too shallow?

[AllTheGoodGirls]

So I've met a nice man. We have lots in common. He's genuine, kind hearted, polite, respecfull ...

I do like him but I do not fancy him at all.

I'd like to give things a go but I can't get past this.

The main thing is that he has had a gastric band fitted and has lost over 11 stone in weight. He has hinted that he may need a tuck for extra skin. This has really put me off and I know how shallow that is but I've always been a health concious, active person so this kind of thing is 'alien' to me (I'm not perfect and quite often have that "first thing in a morning look" but I do try and look after myself).

On our first date, he wore jeans with a cardigan that was about 5 sizes too big for him. It was huge, baggy, scruffy looking and this he wore to a nice pub-resteraunt. He did explain that as he is still losing weight so rapidly, it didn't make sense for him to buy new clothes but surely you'd make a bit of an effort for a first date? even if it was just a decent fitting £5 t-shirt etc??

So am I being shallow?

i don't think it's shallow to not fancy someone. unfortunately thats part of what makes us human. some people are attracted to the mind,some to the body and most to a mixture of both.
there are many things which i wouldn't want in a partner and if i were to actually write them down i'd probably be disgusted with myself for being so shallow. but you just have to accept that these are the things that are or are not attractive to you, and you have to look after yourself first and foremost,and being with someone who you don't really fancy because you think you should be with them or that it's be shallow to not be with them for whatever reason, doesn't help wither of you.
he deserves someone who will fancy him and be interested. you deserve to be with someone you fancy

i think you are shallow.

there we go. i said it.

if it was a woman who's lost this weight from childbirth and has saggy stomach(it looks the same), and a man was saying he was put off then everyone would be on their high horses giving the guy a hard time.

ok. you dont fancy him physically. but you haven't even given him a chance.

but if you are shallow enough to feel this way then walk away and let him find someone he deserves who actually appreciates a kind/wonderful man you say he is

No, I don't think you're being shallow.
If it's a partner you're looking for, which I suspect you are, fancying him is essential.
If you are just looking for a friend, then fancying doesn't come into it.

I'd give it one more chance to see if he is more fanciable on second meeting. (He might, it happens.) If not, then no, leave it. There's no point in going out with someone you really don't fancy.