In wanting to smash a large and particularly well set custard pie into the face of my sister, or do some other similar annoyed person activity?

[GodzillasBumcheek]

cutting a long story a bit shorter...

Have needed to move from my 2 bedroomer to a 3 bed house since DD3 was born (now 2). turns out mum has Alheimers and Vasc Dementia so she is now in a care home.
I was asked by family members if i wanted the house to rent, using my rent to part pay for her care.

It took ages to find out if that was ok and how to go about it, as we had to have the financial go ahead to start renovating the house. It was in serious need of repairs, and getting them done was hindered every step of the way because of my sisters insistence of using certain builders that she had decided on.

Now we are several months down the line, and several long whinges at me and DH for getting rid of anything that hadn't been cross-referenced by her first (obviously mum couldn't take all of her possesions to the home with her, but we couldn't keep them in the house either), even though she didn't want to keep them, and nor did anyone else in the family.

the very last of a long list of things needing doing is the removal of a adjustamatic bed from the house, which she has been trying to sell. She has given the bloke who showed interest not one, but three consecutive deadlines for the pick-up and payment of the bed, but it is STILL THERE one and a half weeks before we move in

We needed it gone so we could get the locks changed and start moving bits in, but not only has she not rung the locksmith as she said she would, but she has received the contract from our brother by post and not told me - i need it to change address on housing benefit etc. I am desperate to move ASAP because of problems with the housing we are in but she doesn't seem to get a move on...EVER.

So, AIBU in wanting to show how pissed off i am?

Does the silence mean IABU, the post is too confusing, the post is too long, or nobody gives a rat's arse because it's too late at night?

no YANBU i think your sister is being unfair by holding you up.She knows how keen you are to move and have been for so long.is there a shed or something you can remove the bed too,and does she realise you need to change your adress over ?

No- I just didn't see it.

I would go around there and make sure she does the things she is supposed to with you there. She sounds like she doesn't want this to happen becasue it means to her that it's final?

Why is your sister in charge of everything? Is it because she is funding the renovations, or just because she's being controlling?
If she is funding the work, then as hard as it is, you need to tread carefully. If she's just bing controlling, then I totally understand.
Also I empathise about needing to move, I am stil sharing a room with my 2yr old, and really struggling to find a bigger flat

I don't actually understand your problem here.

Why are your sister and brother in charge of sorting things out with this house you are moving in to? Why can't you be more proactive with regard to clearing the unwanted objects and changing the locks?

Sorry I am missing the point here.

She is controlling it because she has Power of Attorney over my mum's accounts, as mum is incapable of managing them herself.

My brother is involved because he is a qualified accountant and has been doing the behind the scenes organisation of funding, and also sorted out the contract for us. I am the youngest sibling y'see, by quite a few years.

If you look at it from her point of view, she has to show as power of attorney that she is making careful and considered and correct use of her mother's money and goods. You have to be so careful; they don't belong to any of you and she needs to be transparent and aware of everything...I must admit though that I would have thought jobs like ringing a locksmith or selling a bed could have been delegated so long as receipts etc are kept....

If this was me I would be insisting on weekly meet-ups to go over anything outstanding. And a meet up this week for sure, if you're due to move in so soon. Does she live locally? Why didn't your brother send you a copy of the contract?!

I think he must have assumed since she lives two blocks away that it wouldn't be too hard for her to pick up the phone and get me to pick it up!

She delegated selling the bed to her DD who does 12 hour shifts and lives with her boyfriend.

We have done loads towards getting into this house - bought carpets; waited in for the fitter, painted every single room; filled in all the holes in the walls with polyfilla; waited in the freezing cold house several days in a row for the damp course people; taken excess books/ornaments/clothes to charity shops (carrying by hand as we have no car). DH has even carried smaller items of furniture such as an easy chair and a small glass fronted cabinet to her house because she said she wanted them! (he carried them down 5 blocks!)