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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to wring their little necks?

13 replies

youhavegottobekidding · 10/03/2009 21:19

DD has never been happy in her new year at school, was put in a class with no friends and life was made pretty miserable at the very start of term by 2 girls who have been best friends for a very long time. The 2 of them and my DD are obviously never going to be friends, so fair enough, but I really want to slap their little faces - sorry - every week its comments like your clothes are horrible, we don't want to play with you go away ...silly things really but because she has no friends in the actual class i feel awful for her. what should i do? they are in year 3.

OP posts:

Littlefish · 10/03/2009 21:23

Have you been to see the class teacher?

Have you tried inviting other children in the class back to your house to help your children make other friends?

MrsWeasley · 10/03/2009 21:24

speak to the teacher. If they are regularly commenting on DD's clothes etc, then its classed as bullying.

Littlefish · 10/03/2009 21:24

Sorry, that last sentence didn't make sense at all! It should have said:

Have you tried inviting other children in the class back to your house to help your dd make other friends?

Pawslikepaddington · 10/03/2009 21:25

Speak to the teacher-I was hauled in because dd told another girl in her class this afternoon that she looked like a tomboy-they should defo address this.

MadamDeathstare · 10/03/2009 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

youhavegottobekidding · 10/03/2009 21:28

she has about 4 best friends in the same year so she does have them to play with a lunch time etc, its just difficult for her in the class as normally I'd tell her to ignore them and sit beside her friends. she is pretty sensitive but it makes my blood boil every time i hear their names. i have mentioned it to the teacher and try to encourage her to rise above it etc but she takes things to heart and my DH and I are just getting really fed up with these girls. i REALLY want the girls to be seperated next year ... shudder to think what they will be like by secondary school

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 10/03/2009 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

youhavegottobekidding · 10/03/2009 21:34

she wore a hand knitted cardi to school and they said it wasn't the school uniform..... was the school colours though so i didn't see anything wrong with it. grrrr grrrr grrrr

OP posts:

PrammyMammy · 10/03/2009 21:53

Children can be evil can't they. You should try speaking with the teacher or head teacher again. Like someone else said, it might be a good idea to keep a little diary of any trouble your dd has.
I don't know if the cardi comment is too bad though, we couldn't wear cardigans that were our school colours, they HAD to be the official uniform, with the badge on.The school used to phone parents if someone didn't have the correct uniform on for the season. It does seem like they might be using it as an excuse to be negative with your dd. Making sure she is wearing the uniform everyone else is would stop such comments maybe?

Original poster

youhavegottobekidding · 10/03/2009 21:57

i just feel bad that at that young age she can't wear clothes like hand knitted cardis and has to succumb to pressure to be like everyone else. Everything else she wears is absolutely fine, heck I even changed her school bag so it wouldn't be seen as "babyish" its just such a bad sign of the times that they have to grow up so fast. I will keep a diary thank you thats a good idea.

OP posts:

PrammyMammy · 10/03/2009 22:07

It is horrible i know. Knitted clothes are lovely though eh! (I must learn to knit!)
It is really scary how quick they are expected to grow up. I read in the newspaper at work today about somewhere selling bras, proper ones, for seven year olds What happened to vests.
If you keep a little diary you will be able to present it to the school if they fail to get it sorted out soon enough. I hope you get it sorted. poor dd.

Jux · 10/03/2009 22:09

Do see the teacher again. And again, and again, until you're satisfied. We had this with dd last year and schools can be quite slow to move on bullying. The teacher will have put some strategies in place, I'm sure, but she needs to know they are ineffective and your dd is still having problems. Keep going back. Don't be fobbed off.

Technofairy · 10/03/2009 23:11

Why has she been put in a class without her friends? Is it a 'streamed' class? Seems very strange to me to move children about in Year 3.

This happened to my niece and it was a cock up by the school, they just put her name in the wrong list and she ended up in a class where she barely knew anybody. Although the girls weren't bullying her they were disruptive and badly behaved, and I think bullying other children, which had quite a negative effect on my niece. She joined in as she felt she had to. Peer pressure I suppose but no excuse.

Fortunately by DB and SIL worked out what was going on fairly quickly and spoke to the head. She admitted it was a cock up, apologised and moved her back in to her old class and normal behaviour was restored.

I think you really need to speak to the school about this.

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