To be fed up with taking my mums comments

[chickenfortea]

Dh has just had a payrise and has suggested that we get a cleaner for a few hours a week. Not to do daily jobs but to "deep clean" a room at a time (his words).
Now I work 4 days a week (from home admitedly and usually over the weekend when DH is home) and we have three children.
Two of these go to private school.
My mum has a real hang up about our "image" lifestyle. She thinks we forget that we are "working class". Now the irony is that she is the absolute epitomy of middle class, big country house, only works for something to do etc etc.
We on the other hand go without holidays and treats so that the boys can get a better education (local village primary was failing them badly).
I am totally sick of the sarcastic comments. Today's one when I mentioned the cleaner was "Oh well thats a surprise, I was waiting for that one!" When I asked about it she said oh its fits your aspirations.
This is despite the fact that my sister has a cleaner for a 2 bed flat and has no children. For some reason its ok for her but not me.
Dh has also suggested that we ask another sister if she would be interested as she is due to have a baby and is really needs the money. When I floated the idea with mum I got "maybe she will tell you to get off your backside and clear up your own mess"
Arrggghh
Don't mean to rant but this has really got to me.
AIBU?

I wouldn't tell her stuff to be honest.

Or next time she makes a comment i'd ask exactly what she meant and to stop projecting her feelings about her life onto you.

Yup, agree with Traceybath.

but would add, definitely do not offer the job to a sister. That is a bad bad idea. You want some nice stranger cleaning your house to whom you can provide a list of jobs and pay her weekly. Trust me.

My mum makes negative comments about stuff I want to do. I have recently been brave and started to say, 'you when you said (such and such) what did you mean?' it let her know I wasnt comfortable with what she said and that she needed to qualify her little comments to me. I have noticed she has been more supportive since about certain stuff.

Please dont feel guilty about the cleaner thing - its practical and if you can afford it go for it.

Don't ask your sister, nothing will be private any more. Get a stranger in. There is no shame in getting a cleaner. My mum really got on with our cleaner as that how she made end met when I was little. Just tell her want a wonderful job she did with raising you that you can now afford a cleaner.

Oh! I forgot this line that my DH uses. Nothing is too good for the working classes and orders more wine!

YANBU
But I wouldn't ask your sister.

Maybe your mums is jealous.?

Hello Thank you for all your responses I was expecting to get flamed!
We're really close as a family, Do lots for each other, I loove after my Gran when I don't work, Mum has DD when I do and when my sister has her baby I will be involved in the childcare. My mum has my 87 year old grandad up to hers everyday to vaccum and do odd jobs!
Its hard to not tell her things as we speak at least once a day.
I just wish the snide comments would stop!
I take the point about asking my sister, I just know that it would help her out a bit,

Just keep helping your sister out with childcare and treats. It will keep you all sane. I used to have my nephews over for the weekend when they were younger and I was single. NOW my nephew is my childminder in emergencies and my sister has DS some weekends. we are not in each others shoes all the time. It allows some free thinking.
You don't have to say everything talk about the news or radio 4 instead.

Agree with Bling and Tracey - best to keep family out of the domestic equation. I speak as someone who had to endure using my Mum and MIL for childcare for 3 1/2 years. It's a lovely idea in theory but often hideous in practice.

Telling your Mum things on a need-to-know basis, also a great plan. It took me 30 years to figure this out for myself though I have to admit !

Have just read thread properly - you're obviously doing a better job with the family helping out than I managed!