to think that it isn't for me to say whether my child needs to see a health visitor or not?

[georgimama]

I received a letter yesterday from the Health Visitor service PCT type thing.

It said that it used to be standard practice for all 2 year olds to be seen by a Health Visitor, but now they don't do that and will only see your child if you have concerns. Otherwise, next contact will be with school nurse.

It included a slip and a stamped addressed envelope to let them know whether you want to see a Health Visitor or not.

Now, AIBU to think that from 8 months (last health visitor check) to 5 years old is a terribly long time for a child not to have any kind of check up at all? And for them not to check that he is being looked after properly?

I am a responsible, motivated and coping parent. If I were worried I would seek help. But how many parents aren't going to seek help even though they really need it, either because they don't care, or because they do care but are worried about SS or the like getting involved?

Sock it to me - what do you think?

Seeing the Health Visitor has never been compulsory, so parents who don't care about their children could always have opted out. I think it's sensible to not have regular checks for no reason - if you want a check, have one. If not, you don't have to. Seems fair to me.

My two children have never seen HVs, apart from routine vaccinations and the obligatory home visits after the birth.

Don't see the point myself. I trust my own judgement when it comes to my children. If I thought there was something wrong I would take them to the doctor. HVs (or at least the two I had contact with) seem to spout whatever government line they're told to and don't seem prepared to exercise any common sense. Hopefully they're the exception rather than the rule.

Isn't that the point AMIS - abuse and neglect are going under the radar because children are simply not seen?

I am very non interventionist, I don't like the nanny state, but children are too important and too vulnerable to be left entirely to whether or not their parents can be bothered with checks or not.

I agree with you georgimama. Children are completely off the radar from a few months old until they are at school, particularly if they are not involved in any childcare setting.

well let's face it. all of the recent abuse cases in the news have been of children who were well known to social services.

so it's entirely irrelevant,
health visitor checks are not the only way that abused children are picked up.

round here we are not offered 8 month checks or 2 yr checks, unless we live in certain low socio-economic areas.

if you want to go, go.
of course it is up to you to decide. it's your child and your responsibility.

My dd is 2.4 don't think I've even got the letter

They were well known to the authorities but the authorities weren't doing their jobs properly, that's a different issue. And the fact that it is so easy to fob off the authorities when they do enquire (as I just have in effect) shows there is a massive flaw in the system, surely?

but if you were a parent that didn't care it probably wouldn't make the slightest jot of difference if you were told you HAD to see the HV or told that you cold see them if you wanted - you probably still wouldn't..........

I can't see it as being 'entirely irrelevant'. Yes many cases of abuse are children already known to Social Services, and yes health visitor checks are not the only way abused children are picked up, but if a health visitor check picks up even a few children with problems that otherwise may have been missed, it's worth it imo.

my hv irritates the hell out of me, she's a patronising cow
i'd happily never see her
in fact i go out of my way to ignore her

I stopped taking DD to HV at 5 months. Before that I took her regularly every 2 weeks. Everytime I was there they would say 'oh shes not put on enough weight..or you should give her vitamin drops' They were never once positive and spoke to me like I was a chav mum.
Thats what I think they were used to in this city - chav mums.

btw I AM NOT A CHAV MUM!!

Even after me telling them about her being ill and the symptoms they never once said 'get an appointment with the doctor'
She turned out to be LI,MPI.

She was prem and for a prem a very good weight. Over the 50th percentile. But because she was on Soya milk at 3 months she didnt really gain much wieght.

I suffered with Postnatal depression - I think the reason for me talking her every 2 weeks but I also wanted someone to talk to. Even after saying how I felt - but I used to put it in terms like 'I feel really anxious all the time' Never 'I think I have postnatal depression' Which I know I should have done. All they could do was pat me on the back and say 'hope you get better soon'!!!

After 5 months of it I thought F* it. So I stopped taking her. I managed to get over the PD, but I think if i carried on taking her I wouldn't of.

Dd is now a thriving 13 month old, who get all her vitamins etc..through the lovely homecooked food. She is healthy and reaching all her milestones.

I see the point in the HV. Someone your meant to be able to talk to, someone to give you advice. Someone to help keep a check on your baby's health. But how are they meant to do this when they have 3 HV's, 1 set of scales, 2 baby mats and 25 mums, 25+ children crying, running around etc... all in one room.

I totally agree that HV provisions and no doubt funding are completely inadequate. I have no doubt that funding is the reason why my PCT no longer do these standard checks at 2 years. I just think it is dangerous for young children to be so hidden.

Oh yes and btw... my aunty (bitch, evil woman) has two kids. 1 DS and 1 DD. She has never taken them to see the HV - Ever!

They are malnourished, Coughing all the time, have ROTTEN teeth, one is overweight and the other a bit skinny.

She wont take them to the Doc's. She took them to the dentist once and the dentist said that they could have NO sweets till there adult teeth are through. Thats how bad thier poor teeth are.
She went home and gave them a bag of sweets and told me 'how can I stop giving them sweets, they love them!'

Even when social services turned up aoutside thier house they do not let them in. obviously have something to hide! They even had SS return with Police and my Uncle threatened to box him, and drew his baseball bat! The police and SS walked away!

There are many services that can identify when a child is being abused/neglected.
Its not all down to the HV.

In my opinion those children shouldnt be with her. I do my best to cut thier hair and give them an education - other than the one thier getting at school as It is not being reinforced when they are at home.

My nan feeds them good meals and my sister takes them out to the park and into town.
We do our best as a family to keep the children safe and happy as can be.

It would kill me to see them have to be seperated from us. It would hurt them to be taken away from thier home and toys. Where do you stand being a family member.
No hijack here Im gonna start a new thread for this.

YANBU to think that.

I don't think MN is necessarily representative of mothers generally and whilst we might be clued up on what our children should be doing around a given age there will be plenty of parents who aren't. Maybe it is their first child, maybe they aren't interested in reading child development books/websites, maybe they are just laid back and take things as they come or maybe they don't or can't care (PND for eg).

Most of the time thing will be fine but I am sure that there will be children who are not receiving the attention they need by implementing this sort of policy.

Just one example - you can't effectively test the sight of an 8mth old, partly because their eye muscles are still adjusting. DS2's check-up at 2 picked up on the fact that he might have a problem with a squint. I knew it was a possibility but actually waited for the check up to mention it because I knew it was coming up. However, as a result of the check-up he got seen by a specialist. What if another child doesn't get seen and their parent didn't notice or didn't think it was worth seeing a doctor about? They would slip through the net and not get treatment as early as possible.

By all means don't go to the appointment if you don't want to but I still think it should be an option. I also think that even the most reluctant parent is more likely to attend if the appointment is made for them than if they are just expected to sort out issues for themselves.

Niecie - you have just offended me quite badly.

'maybe they are just laid back and take things as they come or maybe they dont or cant care (pND for e.g)'

I could care for my dd, thats why I took her to the HV every two weeks. I actually overcared if you can say that.

My aunty also suffered with PND- she could totally care. She cared enough to drop him on my doorstep and leave for scotland when he was 8months old.

YANBU. I am a HV (yes I am prepared to be shouted at for that!) Funding has been increasingly cut. Apparently one fulltime HV post is lost every 27 hours. My caseload has grown from 180 families to 900.

Developmental reviews have been cut, partly from the advice contained in the Hall report suggesting that on the whole they did not pick up many problems and weren't particularly relevant but imo mainly due to lack of funding/staffing.

I trained as an HV because I wanted to give families the support that I felt was lacking when I had my DS's but feel that this is increasingly difficult. Most of my time is spent dealing with child protection and "fire-fighting" rather than being proactive. We are advised to visit at 11 days and then not until the 6 week check which I feel for many mums is not adequate particularly when trying to support breastfeeding and first time mums. We then do an 8 month check and we send a letter between 2-3 years inviting parents to bring their child into clinic for a short assessment.

chellesgirl. Sorry, I really didn't mean to offend you.

I am sure that you were extremely caring and loving mother and you did everything you could for your baby.

The only reason I said what I said is that I also know of some mothers with PND who have trouble bonding with their children and can't connect with their child so readily. They might not have been able to go to see a HV without some sort of formal arrangement. It does affect different women in different ways.

But I do apologise again for offending - it really wasn't my intention. I was just trying to put forward various different scenarios where a family might slip under the HV net.

Thank you for your perspective. I know HVs get a lot of flack here, I may have been guilty of it myself, but I think what most people really mean is that HVs need more funding, more support, more training and to be more valued - and then they would be what they would like to be and what parents need them to be!

We don't even get an 8 month check up here anymore. Our HV's concentrate on families known to social services. People who look after their children don't need any advoce from HV's apparently

YABU - if a child is being abused or not being looked after I think we would be in a pretty bad state if the only way it could be picked up is by a HV visit. Where is the community responsibility for making sure kids are looked after properly?

Vulnerable families are still visited regularly here, with families who are nto at risk being given an option of whether or not to have a visit.

I did think the same (about neglected kids being missed) when i got dd's 1yr appointment card. On it said
"Due to staff shortages, if you fail to attend this appointment, you will not be given another"

I understand they are so busy, and its not the health visitor's themselves that are to blame but the system, however i would have thought in light of the harrigey council's failings (shall we say?) they would be more over vigilant in these cases. If that makes any sense to anyone?

But there is more to the check-up than checking for abuse or poor care.

A HV might be more tuned into whether the child is developing speech and social skills normally. I know with DS1 that his developmental check at 2.4 yrs was the first time that his slightly odd development was picked up on and he was later diagnosed with AS. I have a psychology degree and fairly well clued up on such things so I had already guessed something was amiss but it was important that somebody else noticed and he was being kept an eye on. Some people won't even have heard of ASD and their child's problems won't be picked up until much later which is not ideal from the point of view of therapy.

What's a health visitor? We last saw one when DS was 4 weeks old and haven't seen her since (he's nearly a year now). I'd like to have done but hey ho.