Long story. Background first.. DD is 8. Has 2 best friends, one from reception, one from Y1. The second child, let's call her Molly, has become very close to DD and the three kids are great friends.
I am friends with Molly's mum. We get on well. She can be a little prickly (well, a lot actually) and has made a few enemies in her time in the playground, but underneath the prickle she's a good woman. And lets face it, none of us are perfect!
Molly's mum has always made little comments about my dd and how easy she finds school life, education, etc compared to her dd who isn't showing academic flair yet (she's only 7 though...dd has 6 months on her and is a different personality...at this age, it means little). I get annoyed every now and again, but let it go. It's no big deal.
Then last week dd had a bit of a meltdown at Molly's mums house whilst I was there. It was about, would you believe, a spelling! She got it wrong a couple of times and burst into tears.
On the run up to the episode she was being a bit highly strung, but I figured she was tired, so no big deal. When she freaked out, it made the playdate for the mums quite uncomfortable, particularly when molly's mum started asking me all kinds of questions about my dd's behaviour. Was she struggling at school at the moment? Was she perhaps feeling the pressure of not being the best (she's usually top 5 in the class) were things starting to tell on her now they were getting harder?
I tried to say it was just 'one of those things' hoping she'd stop talking about it, but she kept bringing it up, saying that dd was heading for a nervous breakdown if she didn't calm down about things.
I let the playdate feeling very uncomfortable and I knew that molly's mum would be itching to tell our mutual friends about my dd's behaviour (she has a bit of a judgey thing going on....I always try to play things down, but I can see where she's going on this).
so...next night when I go to pick up the girl from school molly's mum is waiting for me in the playground. Is dd o.k.? She asks. Yes, fine I say. Do you think she takes after you? She asks...and pick, pick, pick she starts again! I was a bit and responded by being sarky.
Yes, I said, I was always crying outside the bosses office when things went wrong at work, I said. Then I pointedly said DD takes after my DH...I tend to let things go a lot more easily than she does. But molly's mum just kept picking. I got more and more sarcastic.
At the end of the night (Friday), as the parent's disappeared, molly's mum was talking about something else and she said 'see I'm not that weird' and I said, with a big grin on my face, 'I'm not so sure about that, we'll have to talk about it later'!
Cue Monday morning. Molly's mum isn't talking to me. AT all! Talk about uncomfortable! She's organised a playdate with another friend of her dd's and my dd usually tags along on these (at her invitation) and so, of course, she latches on to her best mate and angles for a playdate...which she gets. But molly's mom makes it plain she's not happy about it (to me). I try to talk dd into coming home, but we all know, that's not happening!
So...now it's Tuesday. She's still not talking to me. I keep chatting away and it's like pulling teeth. So now it's uncomfortable.
I behaved like a child with the sarcasm...but I was worried about dd and I didn't really want judgements being made about/to me, so I snapped.
I thought, however, that this would just die...but it's not the case.
What do I do? Part of me thinks stuff it...let her be as uncomfy as I clearly am. Then the grown up in me thinks apologise. She'll either forgive or not, but I'll have done all I can with it.
So...mums (or dads) what do I do now to put things right???