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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she has her priorities wrong

29 replies

MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 17:51

I'm gettin observed by ofsted tomorrow, im a new teacher and I'm flapping. I asked mum a while ago if she could have DS tonight as he's not a good sleeper and I need to be on top form tomorrow. She said yes of course.

Tonight she rings me and says she forgot she said she'd take my grandad's dog out tonight and the dog cannot just have a walk, he has to go for a big run on the beach every single night without fail.

So she wants my DP to finish work at 8.15, go to hers to stay with DS while she goes to walk the dog for 1.5 hours, so by the time he gets home it'll be about 10.15pm. He won't have had his tea- we've both got work at 8.30 and I need him to set up the printer so that I can print my work off.

I said that would be a lot of fuss and DP is very tired as DS has been up crying the whole of the past 2 night as he's teething.

I said could my brother (who officially owns the dog) not take it for a walk around the streets or park just for one night and she said no the dog has to go on a long run. I mean one night isn't really going to matter is it?

When my sister had ofsted in, mum was all supportive, but as always, when I've got something important on she doesn't want to know and is making it as difficult as possible for me.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 09/03/2009 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 09/03/2009 17:57

Maybe she really has no idea how stressful it is-have another go at explaining how important it is.

rubyslippers · 09/03/2009 17:57

does she now how stressed you are about it?

it is disappointing when people don't behave the way we would like but from what you are saying this isn't the first time you have felt let down

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:01

It's everytime I have an exam or an important essay to get in or I'm getting observed. My sister is always super important and yet she seems to purposely have arguments and get on her high horse with me at these times.

It's like she wants to add to the stress and make things harder for me.

I just want to cry my eyes out.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 09/03/2009 18:02

don't cry

or do and get it out of your system

i think you need to find someone else, if possible, to help you out when you need it

i hope it all goes well tomorrow

piscesmoon · 09/03/2009 18:02

I think if I were you I would cry MumOfBaby! Any chance of your mother being moved by tears?

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:04

No one can help me out- or no one wants to. I don't know which! Can you tell I'm feeling sorry for myself tonight?

I do feel like I have no one to rely on though. Apart from DP but he's working loads at mo.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:05

sorry pisces, I cross posted. Don't think mum'll be bothered if I cry. I think I do actually need a good cry to myself tho. Might make myself a hot chocci, and give myself 15 minutes for a weep.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 09/03/2009 18:08

Sorry I can't come up with a solution, but my very best wishes-hope it all goes well for you.

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:11

Thanks pisces, I feel better just for getting it out of my system really!

Think I needed a big unmumsnetty hug lol.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 09/03/2009 18:15

((((((hug))))))

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:15

Thanks lovely

OP posts:
angrypixie · 09/03/2009 18:44

OFSTED inspections suck but you cannot be sure of being observed can you? Is it a one day inspection? YANBU to be upset by the lack of support - but also don't get it out of perspective.

I feel that you are making this out to be a bigger crisis than it is eg "He wont have had his tea" That's not something else for you to worry about, he's a grown up - he can set up the printer for you (if you really can't do it yourself) and then make beans on toast.

Don't panic Mr Mannering - and good luck for tomorrow x

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:47

Yes, they've booked out a 1.5 hour observation of my lesson! Which I think is far too long!

OP posts:
Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:48

On any other night i'd just be like PITA but ok. But she knows tonight is the most stressed I've been in my life so far and I just don't need the fuss.

OP posts:
angrypixie · 09/03/2009 18:54

Is this secondary? and yes 1.5 hours does seem long, particularlry for an NQT

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 18:54

Further Ed.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 09/03/2009 19:03

If you look for the positive-you at least know which time they have booked, better than having to expect them at any moment throughout the day.

muppetgirl · 09/03/2009 19:10

I would say...

okay your mum is being very unsupportive but you cannot spend tonight stressing about it.

Dh is a grown man and he can cope with a late tea for one night.

What do you need top get donw for tomorrow's lesson? Make a list so you are clear and not just panicking.

Can your dh set up the printer before he goes? If not, do all the work you can and just print it off when he gets home.

Worry about the things you can change/do something about tonight. Bollock your mum tomorrow xxx

muppetgirl · 09/03/2009 19:11

sorry awful sp!

chequersmate · 09/03/2009 19:12

Can't DH take a pizza or something round to eat at her house?

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 09/03/2009 21:03

I've stopped freaking out now it was getting me nowhere, and I've got through the work much faster thanks everyone.

OP posts:
angrypixie · 10/03/2009 15:49

How was it???

piscesmoon · 10/03/2009 17:16

Hope it went well.

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 10/03/2009 19:43

It went brill thanks! I'm so chuffed. The students worked really hard and the lesson went perfectly

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