To expect MIL to pay me for the item she asked me to get her?

[mondaymonday]

Background to this is that we are currently on a tight budget as I'm on stat maternity pay. MIL knows this. Incidentally, she is loaded. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, MIL asked me to go out and buy a specific item for her BIL, who she was due to visit. So I gave up my lunch-hour the next day and bought it. When I gave it to her, she said that she had no cash on her and would send me a cheque.

2 weeks have passed now and no cheque. She can't have forgotten about it, as she gave the item to her BIL a few days ago and this will have reminded her. The amount is a significant part of my weekly spends and did leave me short that week. I'm quite annoyed that I have paid for her gift to her BIL (who is incidentally a millionaire ffs!)

It's not as if she's always getting us stuff - she's actually extremely tight. And the fact that she's just told me how many shoes she's just bought herself has annoyed me even more given the fact that she owes me this money. I am tempted to ask her if BIL asked the present, to see what she says

Phone up in a concerned voice asking when she posted the cheque as you have not receiv ed it, and you are scared it has been lost in the post.

What Herbie said!

Of course I'm all bravado and in reality I'd probably ask her tomorrow how BIL liked the present and see if that 'jogs' her 'memory'... but Herbies solution is better!

Thanks all - I'll let you know what happens when I see her later!

DONT rely on "jogging her memory", it wont work. Many rich people simply dont get how other people are struggling, and what is a huge amount for you is possibly just a peanut to her.

She might even feel she is offending you by giving the money back. With most of my rich friends, if they ask you to get something, it means exactly that GET it for them (ie fund it too), and if you ask them to get something for you, they will be horrified if you offered to pay.

Let her know in no uncertain terms that you lent her the money to buy the gift for BIL, and now you need your money back or your children will go without food. She is most likely going to be mortified at her own sillyness, but so be it. Be clear, or it will just fester.

I'll try QS - will have to get into bolshy mode when I get home (shoudn't really be difficult for me normally )

Oh, QS, people can't be that oblivious, can they? I mean, yes, if I pay for something for a friend (e.g. take their kid to an event, or whatever) I'm a bit horrified if they try to hand me cash. And I always offer to pay for my kids outings with other people, but I never expect them to say 'yes', and they never do.

But I'm aware that some of my friends are skint, really, and I try to pay for rounds more often than they do etc etc.

You know, I think they can that oblivious.

I stopped asking my friends to sponsor my son for school related things (fund raising events) because they would all go, "sure, put in me for £10, £20" etc, and I would duly fill out the sponsorship forms, and ending up having to pay out the total of £50-£60 myself.

Either be blunt or out of pocket.

God, that's depressing. I guess people are pretty oblivious, generally, anyway, but money is such a delicate subject, and not something people can afford to be jerks about!

(I don't think we're "rich", but we're certainly much better off than some of my friends.)

Update - got the money back! I got home and there was a cheque (think DH had asked her for it in the end)