To think this woman is barking mad??

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Long story and really just needing to vent.

I had a childminder who looked after my DD for three days a week after school. She's not OFSTED registered, but her daughter is in my DD's class and she is in dire financial straits and in need of money. The arrangement was working fine. She had the keys to my flat so could take the children there or to hers, depending on whether or not she had gas that week.

I saw her last Monday while picking up DD and all seemed fine. Tuesday morning I got a series of texts from her telling me to find another childminder ASAP, she could continue till Friday but no longer. Panic ensued. I was, of course, not very happy with the short notice and said so. I'm normally fairly laid back and have been able to accommodate her whenever she needs some flexibility in the arrangement. She then sent me a text telling me, essentially, that it was not her problem, this was what happens when you choose to become a working mother. Apart from resigning her place in the sisterhood with that comment, it was DH's decision to go back to work after being a SAHD that prompted the need for a childminder, I've always worked.

We frantically rearranged days with the inlaws and have asked the neighbour to temporarily take over the other days till we have something better sorted. (Neighbour's daughter is in DD's class) It's all beginning to settle down. We have an appointment to see a registered childminder on Saturday who DH knows slightly and thinks will be fine.

This is where it begins to get crazy. (and thank you for reading this far) I've been in a meeting all morning. I got out to find a text message from ex-childminder. Her daughter is ill she says, so she has arranged with my neighbour to pick up my DD this afternoon. WTF??? She quit, doesn't she remember? I've just spent half an hour undoing the arrangements she made, unbidden, on my behalf.

Please tell me I am NBU. This woman is barking sin't she?

YANBU - she quit, you've made other arrangements - tell her. End of.

Or did someone steal her phone and send the texts? If not she does sound a little chaotic.

I don't know if she is barking but clearly something has happened and you need to forget her and sort out so the school knows exactly who is picking up your child.

Is there a chance it was her "DH" or similar sending the original messages?

YANBU but I guess casual relationships with mates are always messy when they go wrong.
What was she thinking though??!!
I would text her back and say that in future you do not expect or require her to organise anything on your behalf again. Would also let the school know that she is not on your list of adults with consent to collect your DD too.
Hope she has given you your keys back.

That is really odd. I think you need to phone her have an actual conversation and find out what is going on. Grasping at straws massively here but maybe she didn't send the earlier messages and somebody else has her phone??

that is so wierd!
yes I'd definitely phone her and say 'I thought you'd told me to find alternative childcare?'

fgs speak to her and stop communicating by text

and get your keys back asap

I'd definitely give her a ring and clarify just what on earth is going on...?

and also, I know you are now, but always use a registered childminder, then they have to abide by a reasonable notice period and if they dont and they mess you about, at least you can complain legitimately.

Oh no, it definitly was her. She's only been speaking to DH recently because she knows damn well she behaved badly in dropping us with 4 days notice and didn't want to face me. She brought back keys and carseat on Thursday so she knew the arrangement was at an end.

I also got a phone message from her telling me about the change of today's arrangements. Neighbour has just rung me to check and thinks ex-childminder is several sandwiches short of a picnic. I tried ringing her but her phone was off. I left her a message reminding her she was no longer my childminder, to cancel the arrangements and please apologise to the neighbour.

She is flaky. What I assume she decided was that she could continue doing the Mondays but what didn't occur to her was to inform me of that decision.

Flaky then! Would definately add her to the 'not allowed to collect' list at your DC's school.

Barking!

Yup. Serves me right for trying to do a friend a favour.

Make sure school know the score.

Do come back and let us know what she says about the fact she made arrangments for this Monday!

I stick with - Barking!

So DH ran into madwoman yesterday when he picked up DD from her pottery class. The same class that madwoman's DD was attending despite being too ill for school

She breezed in and said hello to DH as if nothing was amiss. I asked him if he challenged her and his response was "Are you crazy? The woman's insane!" He's not one for confrontation is DH.

Barking, barking barking.

Please don't use a childminder who isn't registered again - it's madness. Not inspected, not insured, not CRB checked - what were you thinking of?

Georgimama, I agree. I couldn't find a registered childminder in our area at the time, I was between a rock and a hard place. I was doing a friend a favour. She was in desparate need of money, has a daughter in DD's class and I've known her for a few years so I assumed (stupidly, I know) that she was capable of two afternoons a week childcare. She had always seemed sane, if a tad self involved, before this.

Sorry, I didn't mean to lecture, it's just not a good idea as your experience demonstrates!

It's OK gorgima, I know I'm at fault. It's a lesson learned.

She's barking. Be pleased that she is no longer looking after your child. You've had a lucky escape.
And do get your keys back ASAP.

Yes she is barking!

Don't be too hard on yourself - we all do these things in one form or another and it's when it turns into a big pile of poo that we thank our lucky stars and move on.

In my case I asked a friend if she would like to do three hours with my girls once a week. She was at home with a baby and I knew the extra money would be handy. Three weeks in she informed me she couldn't do NEXT WEEK or any week because she'd got another job. I smiled nicely and congratulated her then excused myself to cry in the bathroom! Then I put arrangements in place that I was paying for on a proper professional level - it's the only way to go imo - unfortunately.