In wanting DH to do more in regards to job hunting.

[kayzr]

DH was laid off at the end of January and I just feel he isn't putting any effort into job hunting. I keep finding him jobs he can do, writing down the numbers for him. He then says he will ring but never does.

The theme park nearby has been taking seasonal staff on the past couple of weeks and he used to work there so knows what to do. He has been saying he'll ring them but never does. His excuse is usually that he has been playing with DS1 but he still has a nap so that's no excuse.

I said I'd ring for him but he said it would make him look bad if he had to get his DW to ring for him.

It is just driving me mad that he doesn't seem to be bothered about the fact we have hardly any money.

YANBU

BUT perhaps he has lost his confidence a little bit?

have you asked him why he hasn't done anything?

does he know how tight things are for you

He just gives the "I was playing with DS1 and I forgot. I'll ring in the morning"

Yes he knows. He gets £60 a week from jobseekers. But the have decided that they won't give him any extra towards the fact we have DCs. I'm on mat leave and get paid 4 weekl but it goes within a few days on bills and food.

I agree about the confidence thing. What area of work was he in before?

Do you think maybe he doesn't feel comfortable supporting his family by working at a theme park (I think I know the one you mean, and while there's is nothing wrong with working there at all, sometimes these things don't seem rational. My DH was finding work this time last year when it was decided that his ongoing shoulder problem was not preventing him from working and he did apply to the Haven/Park resorts sites we live near, although he was relieved he didn't end up working there (although TBH, having spoken to a lot of people, they don't seem that keen on employing local people and do a lot of their recruiting in Leeds/Hull/York). I think DH found it hard getting knock-backs being too experienced or over-qualified for the jobs he was applying for.
He did get a job in December locally. He worked over 50 hours a week right up to the beginning of this month, and then got sacked for taking a day off sick. So he is still looking. (Sorry, I think that rambling was to say I know how you feel) He does a lot of coffee drinking, having baths and lie-downs though (part of that is because his pain-killers have been upped and they make him very drowsy, but it still annoying)

He must be applying for some things to put on his job search log though? Are the JC pushing him to retrain? has he thought about PT work and a course to build up his confidence?

He needs to get off his arse and get a job. sorry, i know he may have lost confidence but sitting on his backside isn't going to help with that. I know things are different now but whenever my DP has been looking for work (he is self employed and often works on short contracts) i get on the computor look on the job centre website and ring him with a list of numbers for him to call - he usually has a job within a few days, albeit temporary. He is a qualified carpenter so that obviously helps, but there are plenty of labouring jobs, the post office is recruiting just now - look online. I do appreciate that things are awkward now and DP now works totally for himself so we haven't done the job centre thing for about a year. But honestly, go to the jobcentre website its a piece of cake - alternatively, make him do it. The longer he doesn't try the more likely it is that he will become unemployable.

I have actually rung an employer for my DP in the past - i stumbled across a job that would be great for him, it was the final day and i couldn't get hold of DP as his phone was run out - I explained this to the guy on the phone, he said for DP to go and see him the next day and he got the job. DP was pleased.

What is he doing napping when you have young children to look after, do you get to nap?

LEM, he doesn't nap, DS1 does. Sorry I guess I didn't make that clear.

He was working in a factory making car parts. They have said they are going to take on again in June which would be great but he could do with finding a job to tide us over until then. Which is why Flamingo Land would be brilliant.

DH has muscular dystrophy so he can't do anything like building work or anything that involves a lot of heavy lifting.

The JC are doing nothing at all. Just keep suggesting he applies for incapicty(sp) benefit which he doesn't want to do as he can work and actually sitting around does him more harm than good. He asked about retraining as he would like to be a plumber but they haven't done anything.

has he tried the agency in Scarborough? castle recruitment? they're supposed to have factory work on their books. maybe he's thinking that the park job is for the full season and it wouldn't be fair for him to leave in June?

My DH has a DEA(?) at the jobcentre, that seem to pass his details on to other agencies, who then tell him to become a fiction writer (this is the silliest example, but true!), obviously that will immediately earn him enough to support 3 kids. Could your DH collect together information about plumbing training and present it at his next JC appointment? have you got a Connexions office in your town? They might be more help than the JC (although they might tell him to be an actor. Is it something you can do at the local college, because wouldn't it be free to do the training while claiming JSA (I know that is no help to your short-term finances) TBH my DH didn't get much support with the retraining thing either (he was taken off incapacity benefit and put on JSA) so he has gone back to doing what he is trained to do, which is causing him all the pain.

kazy my dh is also dragging his feet - it's a little more complicated since we moved o/s but just wanted to say - I feel your pain!!!

YANBU.

I'm a bit surprised at your story LEM, I would have thought that normally having your wife call for you would not exactly be a good recommendation to an employer. Although since it was the last day of the advert it might be a bit different. Do you think it would work for Kazyr? Would DH make more of an effort if things had already been started (especially if you had gotten good feedback from the employer on the phone)?

Dr T, it really was just a case of me ringing and leaving details as i didn't want him to miss out on deadline, but the guy chatted to me and asked if DP could go see him, so it wasn't exactly like i was ringing on his behalf. I normally wouldnt recommend it - but saying that, my DD is very "lazy" about getting a job, although she has just got one - it was put in her lap, but it is down to confidence.

OP - maybe your DH has got his sights set on going back to the factory in June? Thing is, its not a given really - its a scary situation. I guess if he could be garunteed it then i would say, sign on the sick in the meantime and spend some time with his family - IF you can afford it. He's paid his taxes, hes entitled to it!

Post office often take on temp staff, if not, get him to sign on with the angencies.

I love that you became all defensive about him!! Shows you love him lots!

re the plumbing, he should approach the local college - the job centre are useless about things like that. There is quite a lot of humping around as a plumber though - has he thought about being a spark? Plumbers are ten a penny just now, but a good electrician is hard to find, especially as the laws have tightened with regards to what you are actually allowed to do yourself, he could cash in on this.

Thanks LEM. I do love him to bits but TBH, he is kinda getting under my feet.

We don't have a connections here and as DH can't drive he can only really get jobs around Pickering. Or he needs a high paid job to cover his bus fare. He was told by someone that the JC will pay for driving lessons but apparently they have stopped doing it now.

He is going to push for training to be a plumber but no idea if they will go for it.

Anyway a application form that he did finally ring for last week has arrived today!!

He is kinda torn between plumbing and being a electrician. He isn't too sure which he would prefer.

Good luck with the application. I'm sure he'll get there in his own time, and there'll be lots of other things coming up around now for the season.

I spoke to DH about training last night and the job centre won't give anyone any training until they have been unemployed for 6 months.