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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to wash bedding and towels for 4 when a family stay the night?

65 replies

goreousgirl · 08/03/2009 22:52

I am starting to wonder if I am on my own to think it is unreasonable for friends to turn up for one night for a family of 4, bringing nothing with them (ie sleeping bags for the kids or towels). I know it sounds bad, but does anyone else get stressed about this?

We had friends stay last night, and I took 2 bin bags full of washing to the launderette (would have been 5 washes to do everything at home). I always take towels and sleeping bags for my kids when I stay. Do you? Do you get mad or am I really a crosspatch?

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 08/03/2009 23:49

Moondog because most people wouldn't want to sleep in sheets or use towels other people have used. Do you know how much you sweat at night - it's litres urgh.

GG - buy some that don't need ironing for the guests, make it a bit easier on yourself. I love my sheets/duvet cover ironed but hate doing it...

Also, in light of the fact that these people seem to invite themselves, perhaphs my original post was a little harsh, but I still wouldn't ask them to bring stuff.

TeenyTinyToria · 08/03/2009 23:58

I think YABU - but then I'm still a student at heart, and happily sleep in/on friends' beds and sofas without wondering when they were last washed.

If you have guests over, you shouldn't expect them to bring more than an overnight bag.

MrsMerryHenry · 09/03/2009 00:02

YABU. I'd never expect guests to bring towels or bedding. For one thing towels are huge to pack. I'd wash towels after one use, but not bedding.

WilfSell · 09/03/2009 00:19

Yup. You're on your own. I'd be horrified if people brought sheets and towels to my house to stay.

MrsMerryHenry · 09/03/2009 00:21

Yes, it would give the message that your bedding's not good enough! And if my host asked me to bring my own (without explaining that perhaps they just didn't have any spares) I'd think them lazy.

Qally · 09/03/2009 04:44

It never even crossed my mind! I was brought up to strip the bed after visits and place used towels with sheets together, so the host/ess was spared the job, but that's all.

Bubbaluv · 09/03/2009 05:22

If you did as Tigerdriver suggests you'd become someone I would laugh about with friends along with the person who takes the nice bottle of wine I bring and serves me plonk all night. Sorry.

mm22bys · 09/03/2009 07:20

it is a PITA, YANBU to not want to. Just consider yourself lucky in that you can put friends up!

Original poster

goreousgirl · 09/03/2009 07:23

CONCLUSION! I am being unreasonable!! Appreciate the constructive replies - and will now cheerfully get on with it (or move in to a Studio flat)!

Tigerdriver - fancy some guests for the weekend? Ha ha! GG

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 09/03/2009 07:44

I think YABU but I also think you can get away with asking them if they have sleeping bags for the children. Children tend to love stuff like sleeping bags.

SoupDragon · 09/03/2009 07:45

We always used to order a takeaway when guess came over. Well, once we had chlidren and couldn't be arsed to entertain properly

piratecat · 09/03/2009 07:46

ah that old chestnut, 'can we come and stay' cos you're in London!!!

we had lots of new friends yrs back when we bought a 2 bed flat!!!

LucyEllensmummy · 09/03/2009 07:49

you should have specified! And why did you have to go to the laundrette, did you need the bedding urgently?

Beachcomber · 09/03/2009 07:58

I agree with you that it is a PITA. We live in France and love it when people make the effort to come to visit us. I enjoy cooking nice food for everybody but the washing does build up. I have a mahoosive laundry basket and just do it bit by bit so that it doesn't interfere too much with normal laundry.

I reckon you could get away with the sleeping bags for kids though.

We do sometimes have people invite themselves to come because we live in a nice village in the southish of France but I only say yes if it is convenient or I want to see them.

One summer we had guests back to back for over a month (DH and I reckon our relationship was tested to the limits there, specially as most of them were my family!). On one occasion I dropped some people of at the airport and collected some others off the incoming flight. Saved a trip I suppose.

ellingwoman · 09/03/2009 08:01

Crikey - we would never go and stay at someone's house and not take our own duvets and pillows! I wouldn't expect any of our friends to have bedding and pillows lying around for 5 guests and I don't either. When the children have sleepovers they all take and bring their own bags/quilts etc as well - so much easier! Towels I can supply and a cooked breakfast - that's about it!

2rebecca · 09/03/2009 10:52

If I'm staying somewhere for just 1 night I offer to bring bedding if travelling by car. I don't take towels though, and if staying for a few days wouldn't take bedding. Have never had guests turn up with their own bedding and towels.

BonsoirAnna · 09/03/2009 10:57

I really enjoy extending hospitality to friends and family and take quite a lot of pleasure in preparing rooms for visitors, making a lovely meal etc. So no, I don't mind the extra domestic chores that go with that because that is all part of making my visitors feel welcomed and loved.

PuppyMonkey · 09/03/2009 10:57

I'd bring sleeping bags and towels if someone specifically asked me to. But otherwise it wouldn't enter my head.

Do you ask them to bring their own portaloo and a bowl of water to wash their faces too?

lilolilmanchester · 09/03/2009 11:02

I usually offer to take either bedding or sleeping bags, knowing full well that most of our friends would say not to. But if I knew a friend didn't had a washing machine and had to go to the launderette, I would be more insistent about taking our own stuff.

Pannacotta · 09/03/2009 11:09

Have to agree its a real PITA to wash so many extra sets of beeding and towlels, though we dont actually have enough spare bedding for a family of 4.
When I go to my Mums or her to us we usually take towels and nor do we change sheets after one night.
Think its a good idea to ask friends to bring sleeping bags for the kids.

ClaraJo · 09/03/2009 11:10

I usually just ask "would you like me to bring any bedding?". Responses vary from "no, we've got everything here"/"we've got blow-up beds but the kids might want to bring sleeping bags" to "sleeping bags and camping mats for the kids because we're short of bedspace". But no-one has ever suggested that the adults bring their own stuff.

I would agree that it's just part and parcel of having guests to stay.

FleurDelacour · 09/03/2009 12:53

I resent all the extra washing too. I can barely keep on top of my own family's laundry as it is. I have a couple of eiderdowns I throw over any stray children who sleep here. We have a couple of extras most weekends. I don't wash them each time. I do provide towels though. My (wonderful) MIL always brings the sheets off her own bed when she and FIL stay to save me washing and ironing. I don't encourage other visitors, though I might if they brought sleeping bags with them.

Othersideofthechannel · 09/03/2009 13:03

I always ask close friends and family always ask me if they need to bring stuff and likewise I always ask them. It's a habit that started when we didn't have enough bedding and even though we do now, I am happy to continue it for easiness sake.

I think if they are really your friends and they are coming in a car, they shouldn't mind.

Boobz · 09/03/2009 13:55

Those people who don't wash their sheets / towels between guests (even with only one night's use) - YUK!

Original poster

goreousgirl · 15/03/2009 21:53

Feeling slightly more encouraged, reading this one week later. REALLY, I wouldn't expect a family to bring everything - just sleeping bags for the kids, and I always take kids towels with me too!! However, being the battleaxe I have now become, I did refuse some friends for this weekend on the back of this, and we've had a lovely stress-free weekend - no extra cooking, washing or clearing up (house still looks like a tip though) .

OP posts:

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