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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be fed up[ with making cyber freinds, if when people leave .....they then drop

50 replies

2shoes · 08/03/2009 09:43

you from FB
ffs rude or what.
someone has just done this, so now I am left wondering if they are ok(they didn't just drop me)
why can't people just drop you a message

OP posts:

S1ur · 08/03/2009 22:00

hmm well blow me.

perhaps it is the internet deities have had enough of me. Google rejected me the other day too, and Yahoo have always hated me....

I am Slur yes I am and I do exist I do I do!

arse, well bugger it - my address is myusername at ( my attempts at cryptic posting) rocketmail,com

scrooged · 08/03/2009 22:37

I know you exist, did you block yourself on FB though so no one knows you exist????

S1ur · 08/03/2009 23:32

Ahhhh yes. I hid a while ago. and changed email addeses and stuff.

Okaaay, right that explains everything, my bad.

Erm... CAT me with your details maybe? (and anyone else I have unwittingly hidden from/deleted/never had but would like to!)

But not anyone I have deliberately hidden from if YOU are reading this you can please bugger orf.

scrooged · 08/03/2009 23:51

You may be hiding from me! The strange 'here, have a cyberdog' woman!!!!

S1ur · 09/03/2009 00:45

Arf, nah m'love though I did wonder what that slightly whiffy dead cyber dog smell was.. sorry I think I may have forgot to put cyberfood down......

Tbh I got scared that he might byte

Original poster

2shoes · 09/03/2009 08:49

fattimumma..it was the person we were all saying"oh hope she is ok"
KM yes we fell out once a long long long long time ago

OP posts:

Original poster

2shoes · 09/03/2009 08:50

ScottishMummy I have met said person in rl, alot of my cyber freinds are real people you know.

(can you tell I forgot all about this thread)

OP posts:

wannaBe · 09/03/2009 09:17

hmm I think it depends tbh.

There are a lot of people on my fb who are there in name only, and who I never communicate with on there, so I often think that perhaps I should just delete them. But it wouldn't be anything personal iyswim.

I also have one "friend" who tells my mother everything I put on there and she is starting to piss me off now so think I might get rid of her as well.

wannaBe · 09/03/2009 09:18

and what happened on saturday?

mm22bys · 09/03/2009 09:29

I added a girl I went to school with. We left school 20 years ago and hadn't been in contact since.

I surprised a little while ago to see she wasn't on there anymore - I presume she deleted me.

Doesn't matter though - we did without each other for 20 years!

It's rude to not end an on-line conversation though!

Original poster

2shoes · 09/03/2009 09:40

wannabe...nothing happened, that is it.

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadow · 09/03/2009 09:53

I have just recently deleted a few mn facebook friends. I dont really know them, I have never met them, I dont interact with them. So I see no reason why they should be on my facebook.

Isnt it so that the case with most people? I see people who have more than 300 friends, and surely they cannot all be real friends?

Sometimes it is just time for a tidy up.

QuintessentialShadow · 09/03/2009 09:54

Isnt it so that the case with most people?

HenriettaJones · 09/03/2009 10:01

YABU in my opinion, sorry! Some people just decide to leave FB, some people decide to have a "tidy up" as Quintessential says (my friends use the less nice term "cull"!) If it isn't anyone you really "know" then there is no need to take it personally? If you're not in a position to get in touch any other way then you can't know them well enough to be bothered!

With the leaving a live chat mid convo - what if DH or DW has just come in saying "FFS get off the computer!" or the kids have pressed a button, or the dinner is about to burn! There could be all sorts of reasons! It's NOT the same as being on the phone. You can only have one phone call but you can have unlimited online chats, and there might not be time to say goodbye to 10 people at once!

daftpunk · 09/03/2009 10:06

actually 2shoes...you prob are being a bit unreasonable...all this f/b (& mumsnet stuff) is really taken far too seriously by people...i have friends in rl that i don't see for years...you're not married to these people...they don't owe you anything and you don't owe them anything.

wannaBe · 09/03/2009 10:22

I read an artacle recently about how people are so hooked on the internet, and the people they interact with online, that we are losing the ability to make real friends/to communicate with people face to face.

I think there's an element of truth in that. People text their friends now rather than calling them, even have text rows with their dh's, and we now have a new dimention where the internet has given us the ability to communicate with people we never would have met in rl, because of distance for example. And while we might communicate with those people, via email or msn or facebook, we will probably never meet them in rl. So can we really call them friends? They are friends in the sense that we have made a connection, that we may communicate with them on the same level, but can it really be actual friendship if you've not met?

Of all the people I've communicated with on mn and on other websites, I have only ever met up with one in rl, and I would definitely consider her my friend. But I think that once you can walk away from a website and with it goes the means for those you have met there to find you, it can't really be seen as being a friendship..

QuintessentialShadow · 09/03/2009 10:25

Maybe a few generations down the line, evolution will take away our ability to speak, and we will grow more arms/fingers for all the typing/texting.

daftpunk · 09/03/2009 10:30

very true wannabe..

how can you really call someone you talk to on mumsnet a "friend"...yes, you might talk to them alot and enjoy spending some cyber time with them..but if you've never actually met them...it's not a "real" friendship is it....and apart from anything else, people on the internet can pretend to be anything they like can't they...untill you meet people, you never really know them do you.

daftpunk · 09/03/2009 10:34

ps;...i went on my first "meet-up" last week, it was great to meet up with some mumsnetters....i think in 4 hours we only spoke about mumsnet for about half an hour...and only 15 minutes of that was on the "moldies"...lol, (even though i have been quite vocal on that subject)....we all got on brilliantly...RL you see...easier!

bellavita · 09/03/2009 11:23

who did you meet up with daftpunk?

wannaBe · 09/03/2009 11:41

I learned from experience that people can be whoever they want to be online while rl may tell a completely different story.

On the whole I think people are far too trusting of the people they meet on the internet. I also think there's a huge difference between say, facebook and msn. Because on msn you talk one-one and only give the info you want. Once you add an online "friend" to facebook you are allowing that person a far greater insight into your rl. I am very, very careful about who I add to facebook.

Don't think I would ever attend a mn meetup. The thought of walking into a room full of complete strangers who would probably judge me on sight fills me with dread.

Original poster

2shoes · 09/03/2009 11:47

well I have heard through the grape vine that the person is ok, so at least I can stop worring about them.
I had met this person.
but surely couldn't people just say bye befor they go

OP posts:

daftpunk · 09/03/2009 11:50

bellavita..it was the wimbledon meet-up.

yes, ikwym wannabe..there was only 5 of us (which was great because we could all chat together)

not sure i'd go to a xmas meet-up..too many people.

Original poster

2shoes · 09/03/2009 12:07

oh I would love to go to the big xmas meet up, just don't want to stay over night

OP posts:

harleyd · 09/03/2009 12:08

i would love to go too 2shoes, just for the sake of a night out

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