Would you have said something?

[5Foot5]

I was waiting to use the cash point today. In front of me was a mother with two children. The little girl was in a push chair and looked to be between 2 and 3. The little boy was maybe 6 or 7.

While the mother was using the cash point and not looking at the children, the little girl kept kicking her brother. He didn't react at first but on about the third kick he caught hold of her foot, held it briefly and then gently but firmly laid her leg back down in the pushchair.

I was watching and at no time did he seem to be using any real force nor did he appear to do anything to hurt his sister. Nevertheless the little girl began to wail.

The mother said, quite sharply, "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing"

"You must have done something, what did you do to her?"

He insisted he had done nothing.

She then crouched down and asked her daughter "What did he do to you?" The little girl claimed that he had hit her. The mum immediately believed the girl and said to her son "Right that does it. You are DEFINITELY not going tonight"

The boy looked very downcast but didn't argue - maybe he knew there was no point if he wasn't ging to be believed.

I, of course, said nothing. Not my kids. Not my business.

But I did feel for this little boy who was apparently being unjustly punished. I also wonder what the reaction might have been if I had butted in to say "Excuse me but your little boy is telling the truth". Most likely she would have thought I was an interfering busybody who ought to mind her own business.

Would anyone here have done differently? Would you have spoken up in the little boy's defence?

I do say something. I always have but I'm worse now I have one of my own.

How do you know he hadn't been picking on her all day? You just don't know the whole story.

Poor boy.
And poor mum too, it's fucking hard to know who did what to who; I need cctv..

I think I'd have dithered about whether to speak-up until the chance had passed, then wish I had

i think i would have told her what i'd seen, just that the little girl was kicking him and he gently stopped her and that was all. and leave her to make her judgement from that.

but sometimes these things happen so quickly you can't respond the way you would like to, when you think about it afterwards.

I shouldn't worry-the same thing happens in families all over the country and usually there is no one to see. I remember my next door neighbours DD being in the garden and every time her little brother came out she hit him over the head with a tennis racket! Little brother ran in crying-it happened several times and the DD got into trouble for whining and not just going out to play like his sister! I felt I had to say something-but generally no one would have been there to see.It just means that you should check with your own DCs that things are really as they appear before you apportion blame.

I would have said something. Poor little boy! It is hard to know who hit first sometimes and I think the mum would have appreciated you telling her . Chances are she will feel very bad when she realises she has punished her DS who was actually already on the receiving end!

Ds who is 8 has "noticed" that the first one to speak up is usually the one who is believed. It drives him mad. It often happens in school but his philosophy now is "It does not matter if I get told off, I know that I have not done anything wrong." I veryfied the theory when I told DD1 off after DD4 complained when she had actually tried to help her little sister.

Most of us do make this type of mistakes and then realise or not we have. In the absence of an interferreing old bat person to witness to what actually happened, I second Sazisi's idea of a CCTV !

I would have said something, i bet this happens all the time between siblings - sounds like the boy had been giving his mum a hard time though and that was the last straw?

JodieO - you don't need to know what has been going on all day. He got told off for something he didn't do, it doesn't matter what he did 5 minutes earlier.

JodieO - you don't need to know what has been going on all day. He got told off for something he didn't do, it doesn't matter what he did 5 minutes earlier.

I would have said something.

I would like to think I would have said something but probably only if I'd had my dd with me to show that I was a parent too and I understood you can't see everything at once.

I was the younger one in my family, my sister used to hit me all the time and my parents always believed her as she used to put on a show like I'd really hurt her. She always managed to get her own way and she's now got serious mental health issues. I think allot of it is to do with the fact she was able to manipulate my parents at a young age.

Don't feel bad, this sort of thing happens all the time to kids.