to expect people to not tell me I'm being unreasonable?

[SerendipitousHarlot]

So I've been sort of lurking and sort of posting sporadically for a few days.

One thing has really jumped out at me about the site, something that really annoys me in RL as well.

Why do people ask for opinions on a subject and then get all huffy when they aren't the opinions they wanted?

After posting on several forums for a few years now, I have noticed this more and more and it's something that DRIVES ME MAD!

If you don't want both answers... DON'T ASK THE QUESTION!!

And breathe

As you were

Someone very wise on here (I can't remember who now) suggested that "Am I being unreasonable" should be renamed "I am needy, validate me". It's often very true.

yip agreed. some people just like the sound of their own voice - they are the people that buy spiderman costumes rather than make one at world book day

YABU

Its none of your business and people should post just to get comfort and support without some people wading in to argue and criticise.

You are being unreasonable and rude.Knob off
nah [raspberry blowing emoticon]

( can you see what I did there )

YABU... to expect the sort of person who starts an AIBU to be at all reasonable. Unless they are posting about someone else BU and it is sooooo obvious they (the OP) are totally NBU that is really a thread which should be called "OMG come and sympathise about how terrible this is"

I do agree with you though, and what Bran has said is very true!

Ooh, harsh custardo.

But I have seen threads where people have been told they are being unreasonable, and taken that on board. So not everybody.

Actually, just remembered that I have been told before that I'm not supposed to put balanced posts in AIBU, or on mumsnet. As you were...

Why buy one when you can draw criss-crosses in permanent marker on a red t-shirt and send them in that!

For the same reason some people don't like to debate anything- because they take any differing view as a personal affront. Which is quite blinkered and emotionally immature in my opinion.

yep. am often bemused at threads like "aibu to think it's unacceptable for my neighbour to kill my children,husband,dog and much loved budgie and then charge me for the removal of the bodies.i mean it's not like i asked him to do it so why should i pay" where the poster is just looking for everyone to rush in and go "OF COURSE YANBU".

and also the ones that quickly change tact if people are saying "yabu" with a quick "well there's much more issues than this.i'm really stressed at the moment, and you don't know x like i know x so of course their actions seem reasonable.god some people are just looking for a fight."

And when people are answering threads on AIBU they are so often deliberately playing devil's advocate rather than honestly answering the question, that of course this forces the OP to be more defensive

Yes, mayorquimby, I love the ones that don't tell you the whole story until you've committed yourself to saying that they sound a bit unreasonable/precious/bonkers and then they drip feed more and more justifying detail in until they get the required validation.

eg: AIBU to expect DH to do all the housework even though he has a full time job?

Yes YABU.

WHAT????? Even though I have LOST the use of my ARMS?

Hahahahaha slayerette

I don't know if YABU or not, there's too many negative there...

If you are expecting people to tell you you are being reasonable, then YABU.

It bugs me too, if you can't take opposing views don't post on AIBU.

If you've already made up your mind, also don't post on AIBU!

You know what you all are

an unreasonable nest of vipers

It would be so much easier if everyone stopped posting but if they did, you wouldn't have anyone to moan about Wouldn't MN be so dull without the random posts, the smug posts, the I am not being unreasonable and tell me I am not posts.

Well of course onlinemummy, that's what makes it interesting, isn't it? But it does make me laugh when someone starts an AIBU thread, and 2 replies in, they're saying that they need to take a break because everyone's being nasty

Nobody offered poor li'lle moi a Boden catalogue (WHAT IS Boden???)...
AIBU for being all upset and heartbroken for being so terribly snubbed?

Especially as all it does it makes people say YAB very U! And then add a few choice words to make the point.

Should have said, it annoys me more in RL. Someone asks a group of friends are they being unreasonable, everyone mutters ooh no when clearly they are and if you have the guts to go against the general (lying) consensus then yabu! [hmmm]

It's like the literary equivalent of my 3yo stamping round with a frown

It's clothes! Not sure from the tone in which Boden is mentioned whether I'm suppposed to know this or not. Certainly not sure whether it is permitted or required to like/own any Boden items. Am playing cards close to my chest until somebody will tell me to avoid making major fashion faux pas...