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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that, as dh has an office to go to..

28 replies

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 09:59

... he should blardy well go to it and not 'work from home', picking his feet on the sofa?

And he still hasn't done the washing-up from last night. Grrr. He has two jobs in this household- doing the washing-up and putting the bins out. And last night's yukky stuff is still sitting there and he's IGNORING it!!!

Im ignoring it too but I can hear it calling me. ((PlumpRump, wash meeeee. I'm dirtyyyy))

Call me unromantic and unloving but I hate that he works from home so much! I like my peace and quiet!!

Gnaarrgh.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 04/03/2009 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 10:21

Urgh yes. Tippitty tappetty on the blardy keyboard. And now he's made ds2 cry cos dh is on a phone call and ds2 wanted a cuddle.

Maybe I'm mean but I like solitude!! I love my family but don't want them round all the time. (exceot ds2 who is only little and gorgeous. But he has a two hour nap in the day.)

OP posts:
mrsgboring · 04/03/2009 10:24

If he is working and incommunicado to you/DCs, just taking up space in the house and requiring quiet, YANBU

If it means he's available for a bit of bothering and conviviality with the rest of the family YABU.

Peachy · 04/03/2009 10:25

Oh gosh yes!

DH may well be at Uni next year and a lot will be done fromhome, will be a nightmare as I'm ghere as a carer (not, as I tell DH often, skivvy).

He works his second job fromhere, tkaes up the whole kitchen justa s I need it and blocks PC and bedrrom all at once as hovers between all 3. .

And coz it's a start up business makes about 20p profit I reckon.

The worst was when he built this bloody robot (which no doubt Riven's dh culd do over a bicuit!) and it was sat on the cooker for 6 weeks whilst he played with it and I wasnt allowed to touch it.

Bah himbug (and it turned out that was for a hobby thing,next thing I knew it was transformed to 20ft on a carniva float. Oh joy).

mrsgboring · 04/03/2009 10:30

Oh God, Peachy that's bad. I thought my DH was bad for spending two evenings working out if his mobile phone number was a prime number or not (yes he knows he could use a computer or just an Internet lookup site but he had to do it by hand) and then writing a computer program to find out how rare it is to have a prime number phone number.

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 10:40

mrsgboring- it's the 1st option. He takes up space, turns the tv down when he has a call and, from 11 a.m, keeps asking what's for lunch.

He just came through to the kitchen, where I'd set up the ironing board, and said 'oh I suppose you don't want me to do the washing-up now as you're ironing there.' I said no but wouldn't be long so he could do it when I'd finished.

Has he done it? Has he cocoa.

Have told him not to talk to me now as ds2 is having his nap and this is 'quiet time'.

OP posts:
Peachy · 04/03/2009 10:47

'from 11 a.m, keeps asking what's for lunch.'

The asnwer is:

I dont know dear as I dont get a legal lunchbreak so.... what are you making us then? You get (insert amount here) time amnfter all

ChippingIn · 04/03/2009 10:50

PlumpRump (love the name BTW), you are NOT being unreasonable AT ALL! Unless he has a damn good reason for not going to the office, then that's where he needs to go. It's different if you have a home office, but still not great. Why do you think most nannies wont work for stay at home parents!!

Why don't you 'pop' to the shops for a 'little bit' (rest of the day) and leave him with DS to look after... if you keep treating him like he's 'at home' then maybe he'll get the message!!

However, I'd just be telling him, that unless he wants to work from home all the time and look after the kids etc, then to get his ass into the office... actually on second thoughts NO NO NO NO NO -sounds like he'd make a terrible stay at home Dad - the place would be a tip!! Just tell him to get his ass into the office!! End of!!

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 11:00

I HAVE told him to into the office! He thinks I'm joking!!

And he keeps making kissy kissy noises at me-like you do to a parrot.

At least he's dressed this time. Usually he sits stinkily in his dressing gown till lunchtime.

If I tell him he has tomake lunch he suggests takeaway. Blech. Like takeaway but not for lunch.

Washing-up still not done.....

OP posts:
mrsgboring · 04/03/2009 11:21

Train the DCs to rip the phone out of the wall repeatedly? Or keep tripping the electric? What about some nice Jehovah's Witnesses "Oh yes, my husband handles all that kind of thing; what a bit of luck, he's working from home today! Come in and talk to him about it."

DaphneMoon · 04/03/2009 11:34

When DS has finished nap, start being really noisy, hoover round his feet, etc make it really difficult for him to work. When he complains tell him to sod off to his office!

ChippingIn · 04/03/2009 11:40

PlumpRump - pushing his luck isn't he!!

Make it clear you are not joking and that in future - work days he goes to work, else you'll be taking yourself out for the day (mention something costly like a spa day, shopping), leaving him to sort out the DC's.

ChopsTheDuck · 04/03/2009 11:45

ooh I lvoe that spa day suggestion!

I also resent dp sitting there, while I run round doing the housework. And that he moans about the kids makign too much noise because he is trying to work. Plus, he doesn't even finish early nowadays when wfh so it is all utterly pointless and a nuisance.

ChippingIn · 04/03/2009 11:46

Chops - yep - just a pain in the bum. Why does your DH work from home?

ChopsTheDuck · 04/03/2009 11:48

usually if the weather is too bad, or someone needs to be in for delivery, or just because he wants peace and quiet to work rather constantly being pestered by people in the office.

And he uses MY pc

littleducks · 04/03/2009 11:54

oh dh asked if i wanted him to stay home today as ds has been ill, i couldnt have shooed him out the house faster, he has been at home for a day each week for the last three weeks, has been hell!

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 12:00

I am also loving the spa day idea...

I quite fancy the idea of Jehovah's witnesses too but you can never find one when you want one!

He's done the washing-up now. I didn't stop nagging till he'd done it gave him a gentle reminder.

Why is he not getting the evil glarey vibes I'm sending his way?!?

OP posts:
Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 12:02

Chops- my dh doesn't finish early either when he's wfh. Or at least, he doesn't seem to if there's baby bathing to be done....

OP posts:
ChopsTheDuck · 04/03/2009 12:02

mine doesnt take his eyes off the screen, glarey looks won't work on him. I reckon trip the electric.

Jehovahs don't work on mine neither, I don't think they probably have a lot of luck converting asian people so they don't try it with him!

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 12:07

Har har. I'd love to see them try it with dh. He's S'African and can be rather rude abrupt.

Could try the electric but have a sneaking suspicion would merely inconvenience yours truly. Plus he has laptops and spare batteries. And mobile phones with ditto.

Damn. He's too organised.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 04/03/2009 12:34

Chops - so all fairly valid reasons then... but still not great for you! Shopping or Spa Days might make him think about how often he really needs to work at home and he needs to get himself a laptop!! Chops, yeah, I don't expect the JW option is a great one for you!!

LittleDucks - sweet of him to ask, but the last thing you need is another 'child' to look after eh!

PlumpRump - LOL, you should have said earlier on he's SA, would have gone for a different approach - Get.Your.Ass.To.The.Office.NOW as the subtle approach really isn't their way is it!

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 13:11

You're so right ChippingIn. I should've said Go. Now now. ( this is apparently correct for immediately. Just now means in a little while- anytime within the next few days)

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 04/03/2009 13:13

YANBU!!

We have a home office, but DH chooses to work in the dining room which you have to walk through to get to the kitchen.

I then get glared at when he is on a call and I have to traipse through with DS to make lunch.

Original poster
PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 14:11

DH COULD work in the conservatory. There's enough clear space at one end of the dining table.

But he won't. Is better to 'suffer' in the sitting room.

Humph.

AND I gave in and made him lunch. Am too soft.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 04/03/2009 21:29

Yes, it's not your baps that are soggy but your grey matter.... get that man out of the house & not to the consevatory but to his office!! (Where he belongs [grin)

Trixy - get all the noisy toys you have and put them in th dining room, let DS go and 'help' Daddy