Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you help your kids cheat to get into a good college?

23 replies

100PercentFat · 03/03/2009 12:24

Last year my friends daughter passed a fair few GCSE's. We were all congratulating her, especially as one she really needed to get onto her chosen college course (Graphics) was the one she found most difficult and she had passed with flying colours.

So she's now happy at college on this course. However, my friend admitted to me that she did the vast majority of her coursework for her as there was no way she would have passed it otherwise!

Would you do this to get your kids into college?

OP posts:
stickylittlefingers · 03/03/2009 12:27

absolutely not. But interesting to note that she's now happy on this course - you'd have thought if she didn't hav the prerequisites, she wouldn't be able to do it. Unless your friend is still doing the work.

It's a terrible example to set to your dc, imo.

ShannaraTiger · 03/03/2009 12:28

No. You are teaching your child that cheating is ok. The course criteria is set because that's the difficulty the college course will be at, unless she suddenly becomes cleverer in the holidays the won't be able to cope with the college work and will then feel like a failure.

ToiletRollCover · 03/03/2009 12:28

But if the child struggled with the work at a GCSE level what happens when the bar is set higher in college? Won't the child struggle?

diedandgonetodevon · 03/03/2009 12:32

No, they'd just end up struggling. Entry criteria are set for a reason IMO

laweaselmys · 03/03/2009 12:32

No. That mother has done her child no favours. If you find a subject impossibly hard, it is usually for the very good reason that it is not your thing and you need to find something else.

mumeeee · 03/03/2009 12:37

No. A level work is much harder than GCSE's and the child will just end up struggling.

bagsforlife · 03/03/2009 12:39

No. This is why coursework should be either done at school or not at all. Lots of people do cheat. It is appalling.

VTVTVT · 03/03/2009 12:43

But the girl must have had to sit exams for her gcse's along side her course work, so she must have done ok in the exams to have passed with flying colours, you cant get great marks on course work alone can you?

Anyway, in answer to your op, no i would never help my dc cheat by doing their coursework for them, i would help as much as i can but it would still be their own work

Did your friend help, as in giving her ideas and research tips, or actually do the whole coursework for her?

expatinscotland · 03/03/2009 12:47

No

BCNS · 03/03/2009 12:47

No, I am happy to help with organisation of time and prioritising of what work needs to be done.. but at the end of the day dc's do need to know what they are doing.

I'm here to offer a cuppa when he's stressed and to say calming words to ds1 ( who's doing early GCSE's).. by the time he starts the others next year he should be well up with how to oraganise etc .. so I'll only be offering cuppas.

I do not want him struggling later on in life.

Original poster
100PercentFat · 03/03/2009 13:01

No she actually did it for her. Took photos for her, designed logos, drew and painted the logos.

All her DD did was the write-ups. Good job she's good at English, isn't it.

It pisses me off because she does all her younger DD's homework for her too and her DD gets merits and acheivements for it whilst other kids who do their own work get sod all.

Like yesterday she was telling me about her DD's maths homework and told me she'd worked most of them out with a calculator and her DD apparantly just wrote down the answers.

She was angry a few weeks ago as her English homework involved her having to write 2 A4 pieces of work and obviously she couldn't do that for her without it being obvious so she was actually angry that she couldn't cheat for her and expected me to feel sorry for her and agree that the homework was out of order!!

OP posts:
pagwatch · 03/03/2009 13:07

No
She is doing her children no favours at all as they will get 'found out' when their ability in the exams/classroom does not match the work they are able to produce.

It has been several years since I have had any clue what DS1's homework is and he is approaching his GCSE's with no more support than cups of tea and biscuits and lots of verbal encouragement.
This independent study/attitude means he is already sorting out his own work experience and looking at university choices. He is very focussed and it will stand him in good stead.

TBH honest though I am also a bit surprised that the teachers don't recognise the course work and class work as being from two different people. Perhaps they are both just dimwits so the consistency is there.

brimfull · 03/03/2009 13:09

She is a mad loon imo.
I have not helped with dd's homework since yr6 when I helped her organise a project.
She is in yr 12 now and I have had nothing to do with her homework since then.It is ludicrous and no benefit to the child to help them let alone do it for them.
Tbh I am amazed at the amount of parents who say they help their senior school kids with their homework.

BCNS · 03/03/2009 13:12

Pagwatch you house sounds like ours, tea, biscuits and words of wisdom a plenty.

Ds has also been looking at uni choices which is very very scarey for me!

Nekabu · 03/03/2009 13:17

Ẃhat terrible parenting. Teaching her dcs:

That if the work is a bit too hard to just cheat rather than put the effort in to see if they could improve or, if the subject wasn't for them, to accept that they can't be good at everything and to find something else that suited them better.

To accept praise and accolades they haven't earned and to be happy being put ahead of their classmates when they are aware they have cheated and their classmates haven't.

That their own mother thought they weren't smart or dedicated enough to pass exams by their own efforts.

pagwatch · 03/03/2009 18:12

BCNS

It is bloody scary isn't it. I am finding this man/child thing quite challenging although really enjoyable. One minute he is all excited because I bought him some tea cakes and then he is sitting there all composed telling me that he wants to do this course at that university.
And I look at him and he is nearly six foot tall and looks very man like and yet I know he still likes to play with the dog and pretends to come to the cinema to see the latest Pixar so he can help with the 'kids' .

Tea and sympathy and lots of 'I know your tired - not much longer - you are doing really well - here, more cake!'

piscesmoon · 03/03/2009 18:25

Absolutely not. It is doing your DC no favours-not only should it be on their own merits, they should have the satisfaction of knowing they did it themselves. It is just as well that they are scrapping a system that is so open to abuse.

chegirl · 03/03/2009 18:56

No No No No.

How is that helping? If your child is not academic enough to get into college alone how the hell are they going to cope when they get there?

What are you teaching your child about morals?

And people go on about 'chavs' having no sense of right and wrong

TotalChaos · 03/03/2009 18:58

Yanbu. And she sounds completely crackers - I'm far too lazy to want to do my kid's homework!

muggglewump · 03/03/2009 19:10

My Mum did all my GCSE History Coursework, not because I wasn't capable, because I saw school as an extention of my social life at that age and I couldn't be bothered
She was so annoyed when I chose to do a GNVQ in 6th Form, rather than A Levels but she would have done all my work had I asked (I didn't) just to get me off to Uni. I got there on my own merit and dropped out a year later to travel which is what I really wanted to do.
I've never quite forgiven my parents (Mum died 7 years ago) for not supporting what I wanted to do, so she really wasted her time really since I don't to this day thank her for it.

No, I will not do DD's work for her although she's only 7, I have learned from my parents' mistakes with me

notsoclever · 03/03/2009 19:36

I only once did my dd's course work - she had been away for a weekend doing voluntary work, then was ill, and was stressing over deadlines for 3 consecutive pieces of homework.

I drafted a GCSE geography essay for her(I'd got an A in my geography A level).The essay got a C- her lowest mark ever.

Never did it again -too shameful and demoralising!.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 03/03/2009 19:39

I think this is actually neglectful

her kids will have a shit life when they figure out that they have to do some things for themselves - unless she's doing their work for them when their at uni

Milliways · 03/03/2009 19:41

DD won't let me near her work!

I used to be asked to read her essays and comment on grammar etc, but now they are in languages I don't understand

DS (13) asks for opinions and likes to show me his work, but I stopped actually "doing" anything in primary school.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread