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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... to think that Year 1 and Year 2 boys...

25 replies

AllBuggiedOut · 02/03/2009 19:50

... should not be left to get changed after swimming unsupervised?

DS1 is 5, and in Year 1. He is in a mixed Year 1 & 2 class, and they swim at the local pool once a week. The pool is small, and not open to the public when they go, and there are teachers/TAs and mum helpers there with them, but the boys go into the changing room without any adult to supervise. I'm guessing there are only 5 or so boys changing at a time (the class is split into 3 groups, so about 10 kids per group, of which about half will be boys). This evening DS1 has big scratches down his back where another boy has scratched him while they were getting dressed, and another time he said all the other boys were throwing their swimming hats at him in the changing room. AIBU to think they shouldn't be left unsupervised? After the story of the hats being thrown I thought "OK, not great but no harm done" and told him to tell the teacher, but I'm more worried this time. I'd appreciate views please...

OP posts:

toddlerama · 02/03/2009 19:58

If there's no man available, can a woman supervise them getting changed? I would be very concerned to be honest.

Tamarto · 02/03/2009 19:59

Is the changing room open plan?

qumps · 02/03/2009 20:02

i am a pe teacher and this is a difficult situation. i am guessing that because its a primary school the majority of the staff are female and there is no male meber of staff to go into the changing room with the boys.
i used to take an all boy group swimming, although it was secondary school, and we had to make sure the leisure centre had a male life guard on shift incase there was an issue in the changing rooms as i couldn't go in.
from a mother point of view i would be upset at no supervision. however even when teaching girls i would not go in the changing room but i would stand outside and shout if i heard any untoward behaviour or say right i am coming in as a warning.
i woudl definitly raise it with your sons teacher though as the school have obviously not planned appropriately for this situation.
hope that is of some help.

qumps · 02/03/2009 20:03

and while typing 10wk old seems to have settled himself to sleep for 1st time ever. thanks allbuggiedout!

screamingabdab · 02/03/2009 20:08

YANBU,

I don't understand, though
why, if the adults with them are CRB checked, why can one of them not go into the changing rooms? Surely female teachers supervise boys changing for P.E?

Leo9 · 02/03/2009 20:12

I would withdraw permission for my child to swim with school at this age, personally. I certainly don't think it's anywhere near ok to leave a group of 5 yr olds changing unsupervised. Be better left until they are about 7 or 8.

piscesmoon · 02/03/2009 20:12

There are no end of rules, I'm not entirely sure what they are as I don't go swimming with children so young but I don't think you would be allowed to have one member of staff in on her own with the boys.

herbietea · 02/03/2009 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 02/03/2009 20:15

There was a whole thread just a short time ago Leo9 with people saying that it was the schools job to teach swimming from a young age! I think it is the parent's responsibility but I was in the minority. I wouldn't like to withdraw my DC when the rest of the class were going-there would be a lot of tears every week!

christywhisty · 02/03/2009 20:16

I used to go swimming with yr4 upwards and we always had 2 tas/teachers or parents helpers in each changing room.

Flightattendant27 · 02/03/2009 20:17

I don't get, if there's no public around, why the female teacher can't go in and supervise the boys?

duchesse · 02/03/2009 20:23

Their teacher could stand near the door and threaten to come in if they don't get dressed in double-quick time. Alternatively, promising a sweet to the first 7 out would work a treat. They'd be so busy getting dressed there'd be no time for mucking around, and I doubt they'd be on the ball enough to count their friends as the left and so wouldn't know if they were in the 7 or not...

Leslaki · 02/03/2009 20:23

As a PGCE student (about 6 years ago) I used to go into the boys changing rooms with Y1/2 and there was no issue about it. Half of them needed help ins ome ways. No it's only the older kids who go swimming at our school. I just presumed someone would be in or at a door in some sort of supervisory position. Wouldn't trust any of them to be leftt alone TBH!!!

cat64 · 02/03/2009 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 02/03/2009 20:40

I know with the Beavers that as a female helper you can't go into the toilet alone with a Beaver-it can be tricky is one is sick and 2 of you have to mop him up and you still have all the rest to deal with.
I don't know the rules with swimming but there will be rules for child protection. They may seem silly such as if a DC brings their own sun cream to school you can't put it on for them, you can't pull a splinter out etc, but a teacher would be silly to put themselves at risk. I would ask at school and find out why it is done the way that it is.

Coldtits · 02/03/2009 20:42

Our year ones and twos swim, they all get changed in the ladies! FFS there is nothing scary about a 6 year old's penis

Original poster

AllBuggiedOut · 02/03/2009 21:30

Thanks all, that's helpful. I will check with DS in the morning, but I think the staff/helpers are all supervising the kids in the group that isn't swimming (it's a small village pool, separate male and female changing and a communal/viewing area where the kids who aren't swimming are working).

I would prefer there to be a female member of staff (maybe not one of the parent helpers as I don't suppose they are CRB checked and might not want to be there) in the changing room with the boys. It's helpful to know that others agree. Thanks. I will talk to the teacher in the morning.

And fantastic Qumps, glad to help

OP posts:

mm22bys · 02/03/2009 21:31

YANBU. I would have thought there would be hell to pay if G*d forbid something serious happened....

Hassled · 02/03/2009 21:33

At DS2 & 3s' school all parent helpers have to be CRB checked. And I have dressed/helped dress many Year 2 boys after swimming, many times. And Yr 3, come to that. No one's batted an eyelid.

mm22bys · 02/03/2009 21:36

My Ds1 is 4 and he goes to school swimming classes. They did a while back ask for parent help but I couldn't do it due to other commitments. I have no idea what their changing arrangements are....I have no idea if they all change together or if they separate out the boys / girls.

I'll have to ask him in the morning!

I don't even know if the parents that could do are CRB-checked. They would have to be wouldn't they? Which is so time-consuming, I bet by the time all the checks came through the school year would be over....

choccyp1g · 02/03/2009 21:44

At DS infant school, we always had a rota of parent helpers (all mums, but not sure if any dad's volunteered) We were all CRB checked. You had to go in the changing room with them and jostle them along, otherwise they were yelling, flicking wet towels, hiding other peoples undies etc. I actually think it is dangerous to leave them alone in a communal changing room, as they get hyped up, and could slip on the wet floor.
Funnily enough the girls never misbehaved, but most people still preferred to help the boys, because drying long wet hair is a nightmare.

qumps · 03/03/2009 08:05

allbuggiedout came back on at 2am to help keep me sane while settling ds2 and he went back to sleep until 7 again for first time ever.
you are my new best friend. its a magic thread to me!
let us know what the teacher says this morning.

Original poster

AllBuggiedOut · 03/03/2009 13:41

Fantastic Qumps, I will keep my fingers crossed that it's the start of good nights for you!

I spoke to the teacher. She had been completely unaware that anything had gone on, and asked DS to tell her what had happened. She explained to me that she is poolside, and the TA "hovers" near the changing room door in case she hears anything untoward. She said that there isn't anybody in the changing rooms to "protect the kids' privacy" but that she was sorry about what had happened, and would look again at how they supervise the kids at swimming. She also said she'd speak to the 2 boys who'd been involved. I think she does have a bit of a tendency to say the right things and then not get round to doing anything about it - and I really don't care very much whether she speaks to the 2 other boys or not. As far as they're concerned, it's old history now and they've moved on, and I'm not convinced of the value of dragging it up again other than perhaps to flag up that DS has "told" and so make him the target of more unpleasantness . But I will keep my fingers crossed that she does rethink the supervision, and will ask her about it at parents' evening which is coming up shortly.

Thanks again for your thoughts, everyone.

OP posts:

qumps · 03/03/2009 18:57

just checking in to see how it was resolved and to hopefully keep the good karma going. ds2 in bed asleep so must be working!!!
you don't sound too convinced allbuggiedout but hopefully you raising it will highlight the issue and they will be more aware in the future. if you are not happy though i would raise it with the head.
swimming is such a great thing for kids to learn but such a minefield.

qumps · 05/03/2009 10:50

allbuggiedout where are you???? 2 nights no post and 2 nights no sleep.
i am holding you completely responsible...

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