Yes, babies are cute, but please don't ignore the other child standing here!

[IrritableGrizzly]

Every day without fail, when I take ds1 (6y) out to catch the school bus (we live in a condo and the bus picks him up at the lobby), and I have ds2 (9m) in the pushchair, the security guards/maids/assorted old ladies will catch sight of ds2 and come rushing over, "Oh hello baby, handsome boy" ad nauseum. Obviously not a problem in itself, nice for people to be friendly, but not one of these people fawning over ds2 will even look at ds1, let alone say hello or something. The poor little boy just stands there looking all embarrassed and a bit sad. He's only 6, it's not like he's a bloody teenager; is it really unreasonable of me to think if you're going to make a point of cooing over one child, you might at least say hello to the other one?

"Yes, he lookes just like his older brother!"

or

"Well let's hope he grows up to be as adorable and handsome as his older brother!"

Oh i hate this! People often ignore DS who is 2.5 or ask him if he has a lovely sister etc - nothing directed at him.

Has anyone noticed that people tend to fuss more over girl babies too? I notice lots more people do it over my DD than they did DS and I wouldnt say one is more smily than the other. People quite often do it when I am out with a fried - fuss over DD but ignore their DS. Its awkward and not deserved (although DD is gorgeous lol but Im biased )

Well, ds2 is apparently very pretty and is always being mistaken for a girl, so may have something to do with it, but the guards know he's a boy and they're the worst offenders. This morning after one came over with his normal enthusiasm I told ds2 to say hello back (trying to make a point) and he just said sadly "He wasn't talking to me". He's quite shy so I don't want to draw attention to him, but hate seeing him being ignored and coming to expect it.

I've felt really bad for my eldest dd when we have been on holiday. Her little sister is a blue-eyed, blonde haired giggly thing whilst big sis is green-eyed brunette who is very shy. The Greeks & Spaniards go bonkers over my youngest. They won't leave her alone. My eldest doesn't seem to mind too much now but she did the first few times it happened. They are both equally gorgeous of course!

I think that it is human nature to fuss over babies and that won't ever change.

My DD1 was five when her sister was born and the baby was on oxygen for months after she was born. There is nothing that attracts the attention of old ladies more than an obviously ill, cute little baby! To try to stop my DD1 feeling put out, I made sure that I called the baby "X's little sister" in front of any admirers and I also stressed all the time how much DD2 she looked like DD1. That way DD1 got some reflected glory and she is still very proud of DD2

My sister had a baby around the same time as me and it was much smaller at mine. EVERYONE ignored my baby.

My auntie came in and mum was holding my baby (sister and baby were NOT even there) and she totally ignored him and asked how sister's baby was.

I cried a little lol.

yanbu I bumped into one of dd's old CA's the other day, she had a delighful baby(shose hand was jsut right for holding) but I made sure I also spoke to her 4 year old, evrn though said 4 yr old looked like I was mad.

YANBU I am experiencing this just now with DD2(6mths) being fussed over and DD1(4yrs) being ignored sometimes - it breaks my heart!

Yes, I get this all the time too, with DS and DD. My only strategy is when people ask how old DD is I say, '15 months, and [brightly] DS is 3 and a half now!'

He's jealous enough as it is, without strangers and neighbours making it worse!

I had this when 'baby number three' turned out to be triplets. DS(then4)&DD(then2) got ignored by the millions of people who stopped us in the street. Like flimmflammum I just used to carry on brightly and introduce everyone so that the onlookers got introduced to the older two whether they wanted it or not. Then it was always time to go.....
If I see a friend with a child and new baby I usually try to talk to the older child first and ask if they would like to show me their new brother or sister.

The nicest thing someone said when DD2 was born, DD1 was six, was "oh this baby is so lucky to have a big sister like you". So Ive always made sure when I see a baby I ask questions to the elder sibling like "hes very sweet but I bet he keeps you awake at night"

YANBU

I always make a point of saying something nice about the older siblings of a baby I'm cooing over.

Mind you, I am an oldest child, and because of that I am mindful of how I felt being ignored when my cute younger brothers were cooed over.

Well I deserve a gold star - when I attneded teh birth party celebration of new baby girl of a family friend I personally bought ribbons/hair bands for the 5 yr old girl too so she also ahd a pressie as it is also upsetting for the recently displaced no longer pfb to watch this tiny intruder geting all these presnts whilst thinking that no -one likes her enough to get one teeny tiny things.

That is sooo upsetting isn't it...ike it isn't blardy hard enough to be the older sibling, etc...!
People don't think, do they ...

whenever I meet someone who has a Baby and an older child with them I will always first make a fuss of the older child before turning to the Baby.

Oh God, I hate that! How can grown adults be so thoughtless and unkind?

I really don't think they are thinking lets leave the other child out tbh...I always speak to both children...and give positive comments about both...I think it's just the ahhh factor with babies

Mumscentreplus, of course they're not thinking when they do this - they're being thoughtless.