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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is dh. mn jury please advise.

27 replies

cheshirekitty · 01/03/2009 11:42

It is mil birthday next weekend. dh asked if I would get a pressie. Did not mind as I was going into town anyway.

mil is 86 and very hard to buy for. She is almost housebound, has no hobbies, does not read books etc. We always seem to be buying her cardigans etc so was trying to get something different.

Saw a beautiful NAO figurine - little girl in ballerina costume. mil used to be a dancer, so thought she might like it. Thought it would be nice for mil to have something beautiful to look at.

dh now moaning at me because pressie was 'too expensive'. I have worked loads of overtime over the past few weeks so money not a problem (figurine was £48).

So who is being unreasonable? Honest answers please.

And yes, next year he can buy his own pressie.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 01/03/2009 11:43

Your husband is being a prat.

rubyslippers · 01/03/2009 11:44

your DH is being unreasonable

SerendipitousHarlot · 01/03/2009 11:44

Bloody cheek!

It's bad enough for him nt being bothered to buy his own mum's pressie, but to criticise you for getting such a thoughtful gift? Oooh I would be very cross In fact I would probably take it back out of temper

edam · 01/03/2009 11:44

He is, of course. As you say, he can buy his own bloody presents in future. And you aren't asking HIM to pay for it anyway, it's coming out of your overtime. Which is very generous given she's his mother.

AND you put a lot of thought into the present. Dh is an ungrateful hound.

mollyroger · 01/03/2009 11:44

as you said, he can bloody buy it next year. I feel your pain.

tiggerlovestobounce · 01/03/2009 11:45

If you can afford the present, then I dont think you are being unreasonable. It sounds like an appropriate thing to have bought, and TBH I would say your DH should be grateful that you are buying his mums birthday pressie, and if he doesnt like what you pick then he should be doing it himself.

WallOfSilence · 01/03/2009 11:46

He is being unreasonable.

How would he feel if you wouldn't spend over a tenner on his mam?

I think you put a lot of thought into your gift & your MIL will love it

CantSleepWontSleep · 01/03/2009 11:46

Clearly your dh is BU.

noonki · 01/03/2009 11:46

If you can afford it he is being a selfish son.

Mind my DH still hasnt bought his mum a pressie (b-day 29 jan) as i refused to sort it out this year

bran · 01/03/2009 11:47

He is BU. Unless he specifically told you that your MIL had requested a particular gift or that she doesn't like knick-knacks.

When you write the tag for the gift don't put his name on it.

Shitemum · 01/03/2009 11:53

I would have turned round and said 'Well, here's the receipt, if you're lucky she'll die before the return period is up and you can take it back and get the money back'...

....but I am nasty.

Gorionine · 01/03/2009 11:54

You are not BU one bit!

edam · 01/03/2009 11:54

Well done, cheshire, a whole thread full of people who agree with you. A rare event on here.

Original poster
cheshirekitty · 01/03/2009 11:54

Thanks everyone. Did consider taking it back, but that would only hurt his mum.

Men!!Honestly.

OP posts:
chegirl · 01/03/2009 12:08

YABU!

Only messing

Tell him to get his own bloody presents next year, or ever.

I made that rule v.early with my OH. He is the youngest of twelve kids and they all have kids. There was no way I was stepping onto THAT minefield.

Stick it up his nose.

madlentileater · 01/03/2009 12:10

YANBU deffo.
you are being very kind and generous and he doesn't deserve you!

ThatShittySmell · 01/03/2009 12:15

I think you should have checked with your DH before spending so much personally.

Ronaldinhio · 01/03/2009 12:19

beggars chosers etc
yanbu

twinsetandpearls · 01/03/2009 12:19

As long as you can afford it he s being unreasonable.

LucyEllensmummy · 01/03/2009 12:44

Sounds like a lovely present, your DH will enjoy that his mum likes it - tell him to suck it up!

LucyEllensmummy · 01/03/2009 12:45

That shitty smell - WHY?????

Ambi · 01/03/2009 12:52

A very nice thought from you, he has no grounds to complain when he couldn't be bothered to get anything at all. YANBU.

I would hint to MIL that he had nothing to do with it though "I was hoping you'd like a ballerina as I remembered you were a dancer...." etc.

ChippingIn · 01/03/2009 15:59

Of course YANBU and agree with (almost) everyone else re your DH - cheeky twat. No more doing his present buying for him!!

ThatShittySmell - she should have checked with her husband how much she was allowed to spend out of her overtime on his Mothers Birthday present - why exactly?? Buying a house, lounge suite, new car... sure - but £48 when he's asked her to buy a present - are you really serious??

HecatesTwopenceworth · 02/03/2009 20:21

If he isn't happy, I suggest you return it, get your money back and get him to go and get something he feels is more suitable.

Oh, and never buy his gifts for him in future!

Sassybeast · 02/03/2009 20:26

YANBU and it sounds like a lovely thoughful present.