To not want to take this man shopping today?

[StayOutOfTheLight]

So brief history...my car failed its MOT, can't afford to get it fixed so I'm doing without.

Now, a friend (more of an aquaitance really) very kindly offered to put me on the insurance on her car (its a mobility car so doesn't cost them any extra) so that I could still get mine and her kids to their afterschool activities.

This is obviously a massive help and I do apreciate it.

But ever since she's been texting me asking me to take her husband here there and everywhere. He's blind so obviously cannot drive but she can so I don't see why she needs me to do it?

I took him shopping on Wednesday last week and she phoned yesterday to ask if I'd take him to Argos today to get some stuff.

Thing is I really like my weekends to myself. I'm a single parent and when the kids go to their dads (as they will later today) its the only chance I get to have some 'me' time.

His wife is at home all day so I don't see why she is asking me to do it, presumably because she just can't be bothered.

I KNOW they're doing me a huge favour letting me borrow their car but does that justify me having to ferry the bloke around all the time?

Tell me if I AM being unreasonable, I can take it!

I think you should have probably worked out an agreement between you before you accepted use of the car. It's not unreasonable of her to expect favours in return for favours, after all, but it sounds like it wasn't discussed beforehand.
And, really, is it that much hassle to take the bloke to Argosand back? Is it a 300 mile drive or something? Given that they are lending you their car for several days a week?

Its not that far away but the 'estate' its on is a large shopping/entertainment complex thing with bowling, cinema, KFC, Matalan, Asda, Next etc all using the same carpark. On a Saturday it is MURDER around there ... you cannot get parked, you're stuck in traffic for ages and my ex only has the kids until about 4pm so this is going to make the majority of my free time up.

And if the wife couldn't drive, it would be different but she's going to be sat at home! why can't they just go together?

Well we've kind of helped each other in the past. For the past few months before my car broke I used to take her DD to her club 3 nights a week and take her own again. So I have done favours for them in the past too.

Well I don't suppose it matters now because she's just text to say he doesn't want to go anymore but has invited me around for a cup of tea instead.

I know I am probably being a selfish bitch, I just crave time to myself and I get quite protective over it

i dont think yabu , have your time to yourself. it could become a bit of a nightmare if your not careful.. people do love to take advantage ..

I would be careful, if it is a mobility car, you might find that the insurance only covers you to drive the naemd person arround. not sure if you can lend the car out.

2shoes - we have a mobility car and it doesnt matter if i drive or DH drives or whether we are together or not. It doesnt state it only has to be used for DH.

The blue badge on the other hand can only be used in a vehicle that is being used with the named person present.

Perhaps you just have to be thick skinned and be honest about when you can't help out IYSWIM.

Perhaps you need to say when x has the kids I have stuff planned.

YANBU and YAN a "selfish bitch" to want to enjoy a precious respite from your kids. We mums have enough on our plate. Just because these people have done you a kind turn does not make you beholden to them IMO. Just grow a thick skin and start making up excuses or ignore the phone when you have your 'me' time.

Actually CarGirls idea is a good one. Next time you see your friend, ask her if she minds if you don't drive her dh around when the kids are at their dads as that's the only free time you get. Just wondered though, who puts the petrol in the car and where exactly is the car when she asks you to do some driving.

Also, I think it's quite acceptable for your to ask why she can't drive him.

I absolutely loathe and detest going anywhere near the shops on a saturday so I fully understand your resentment.

I think you've got an excellent chance of sorting the whole thing out amicably IF YOU PICK THE RIGHT MOMENT TO BRING IT UP

i think you need to do everything you can to get your car back on the road so you're not indebted.

DanJARMouse but this car has been lent to another person, so just made me wonder.

I have just checked my insurance on the motability. We have onyl had the mobility car 3 weeks so I was sure I was right!

Named drivers (can be 2, and include person vehicle is allocated to) are permitted to drive the vehicle for social, domestic and pleasure activities including commuting to a permenant place of work.

No where on the certificate or schedule does it say vehicle cannot be used without the allocated disabled person present.

If OPs friend has added her to the insurance, I would assume it was ok as the friends DH is blind and therefore doesnt drive, so can be 2 named drivers, one the OP and one the friend.

I know you cant allow anyone else to drive the vehicle, even if they have their own insurance because of it being a mobility vehicle, but as long as OP is deffo named on the insurance certificate, there shouldnt be any issue.

HTH! Phew.... that was long!