To think my MIL should not have frightened me to death last night and should not then be annoyed that I was short with her?

[TheGreatScootini]

Last night DH was driving our two DD's from London to see his Mum near Sheffield.(He has college work to do this weekend and I was scheduled to go out for my BF's birthday so he asked his Mum to look after the girls in the day time to allow him to work and me still to go out)(And also get a lie in which admittedly is lovely )

I am always a little bit nervous when DH drives the girls a long way (not neurotic but I like to know they have got there safely)

They set off at 5 and should have made it by 8 or 8.30 latest.I had to go into work last night and got home at 10.30 by which time DH still hadnt called.

I was a bit concerned so called his Mums landline.She answered in angst ridden tones.

me; 'Hi DH's Mum,just calling to see they got there safely'

MIL (Sounding panicky)'no they arent here!There has been a huge accident.Oh I can hear a car.Im looking out of the window.I can see DH.But I cant see the children!'Hangs up.

Obviously I freak out slightly and try to call her back-no answer.

DH calls back 10 minutes later.He is fine.He had called his mum to say he was stuck in traffic caused by accident and would be an hour and half or so later than expected but all was fine with them (they werent involved in the accident in any way).She knew this before she spoke to me.

I have spoken to them this morn and his Mum answered.I am still cross at her for nearly giving me a heart attack with her melodramatics and just said Hi and could I speak to DH when she answered instead of chatting to her a bit longer.And now she apparently has the hump!

Oh FFS - MILs, who'd have them? YANBU for being cross, no. Mind you, I'd be miffed with DH for not ringing, or at least texting me for keeping me in the know.

Sounds like your MIL might have got the wrong end of the stick and been worried herself.

I was a bit.But he said that by the time he got off the phone with his Mum and the girls were kicking off in the traffic jam and he was doling out snacks and singing and what not to amuse them the traffic ad started moving and he doesnt like to use the phone whilst driving.Plus he knew I was at work and wouldnt be likely to answer (was at a function last night)

I will never hear the end of it though.MIL will be on the phone to my two SIL's (who live next door and next door but two) saying how horrid I am being etc etc.

YANBU She could have told you he'd called and what had happened, before going to see them. She was possibly a bit frightened thinking 'it could have been them' and didn't stop to answer you properly - so more inconsiderate than deliberately nasty (but depends on your MIL!!!)

However, I think when she said she could 'see DH, but not the children!!' I would have stopped worrying... surely your DH would have called you if there had been an accident involving the girls (and he was ok), rather than continue driving to his Mums alone. (So him turning up without the girls wasn't a likely scenario).

Have you torn strips off him spoken to him about it? If he could ring her to say he'd be late, why didn't he ring you? Surely he'd know you'd worry???

x-post sorry... however, if there was something happening that made them an hour and a half late, then he had time to text you!!

Why did she panic you when she knew they were not involved? I would have said 'no they are not here yet, theres been a huge accident on the motorway and they are caught in traffic'

I understand where you are coming from but cut her some slack. You were aorried about your children, she was worried about her child too and the girls.

Let it go.

I know but he is a tit sometimes.He will get his about not calling.
I want to think she wasnt deliberately trying to frighten me but saying she 'couldnt see the children' must surely be a lie.They are 20 months and just 3 and have big car seats that are quite high so they can easily be seen in the back seat.She has never been that keen on me really-not outright nasty but she never calls the house, always DH on his mobile etc..

The more I think about it the more cross I get.But I suppose the main thing is that everyone is safe.So I suppose will just have to let it go and avoid world war 3.

'Fraid so scoot. The amount of teeth-gritting and letting-it-slide I have to do - I should work for the UN such are mu diplomacy skills!

I think the UN would be a much more effective organisation if it employed women who had honed their skills with MIL's first!

Shout a bit.... then let it go (until he comes home and you can tell him if he values his testicles relationship he'd do well to be more thoughtful in the future!!), then ENJOY the weekend!!!!!! Make the most of it

TBH I think your DH is the one at fault here. I suspect MIL was worried and anxious, and too distracted to think that she would upset you by passing it on. I think you should be directing your wrath at your DH (who should know better) and letting it go with your MIL. I'd be inclined to apologise to MIL for being short, and explain why, so that she could try to do better next time if something similar happened.