to be annoyed at my childminder for over feeding DS?

[wolfear]

He's 19 months and despite having a geat appetite, i sstarting to get picky with what he eats. She says she can't say 'no' to him and when he asks for something (usually ham, cheese or beans) she'll give it to him. He totally playing her! He always just plays with his tea after he's been at her house and tonight he had one piece of cucumber.

I've tried being subtle about it buit need to drive it home somehow.

It's actually much better for everyone to eat 5 small meals a day, than 3 big ones. Especially if the evening meal you are giving a child is only an hour before bedtime, because they've been at the CM's all day.

I don't think that it is a good idea to have a big meal before bed, but I think that grazing is a terrible habit to get into. I think it is much healthier to have 3 decent meals, I don't have any snacks but I would give a DC fruit or something small.

It's fairly easy to say no to a single child wondering around alone at home. It's much harder to say no to a child sat next to other children eating. Especially a 19 month old. If I tried to give 2 of my kids and snack and told the other one he couldn't have anything there would be a riot.

If you don't think he wants toast then fair enough, but perhaps give her a list of things he could have at the after school time (apple? raisins? etc??) or she's going to be left trying to look after the schoolies with a screaming toddler on her hands.

I agree with you Blondes. The eating routine you describe is almost exactly what I have him on, and have done since he was about 10 months - never had a problem with it. The three meals aren't huge - just cereal for brekky, some fruit and/or rice cakes mid morning, lunch, some milk and a biscuit in the afternoon and then tea. Three meals plus snacks/Grazing - almost the same thing really.

wolfear - think you and I are in the minority

Thanks everyone, BTW, I feel much better about this and realise I have nothing to be worried about and just have to make a couple of suggestions to my CM rather than be annoyed at her.

I don't think there's a problem with your routine as such - probably did something fairly similar with ds1 although the other 2 have been grazers, but I think you'll be giving your childminder a really hard time if you ask her to withhold food when other children are eating. Nothing wrong with asking her to change it to something else, but it is so much easier to say no you're not having anything to eat when you're home alone!