To think it's preferable to donate to a charity than give lots of unnecessary presents?

[MrsMerryHenry]

DH asked his family not to buy him anything for his birthday because he has far too much unnecessary stuff. He suggested they could make a small charitable donation instead, maybe buy a small goat-type gift for Oxfam, etc. One of his brothers balked at this idea, saying the money given to charities never goes where it's needed. In the end he got lots of expensive pressies that he neither wanted nor needed, and I don't think any charities got anything.

We both found this rather sad. I appreciate that people enjoy giving gifts to people they love, and that in itself is wonderful (and they can buy me diamonds anytime ), but it feels more like the important thing was what they wanted, not what DH wanted.

We were invited to a Christening, it said on the invite something like cards would be lovely be no presents as xxxx has so much already.
We gave a donation to a local children's hospice as we would normally get a gift for someone. The hospice sent a lovely letter which I put in with the card and I think the parents were pleased.

tanith, your argument is flawed.

henry, you are right. Giving a gift is often a selfish act.

it's being very unreasonable...and a bit rude.

sell the presents on ebay and donate the money to charity yourselves.

Thanks, pointydog, for showing that you've carefully considered and responded everything I've been saying. Otherwise I'd have to completely disregard your opinion, wouldn't I?

vjg13, that's a lovely story.