Would you find this odd of a 15 year old?

[StayOutOfTheLight]

15 year old goes upstairs to her mum and says "Dad is watching something dirty on TV downstairs, really dirty sex" the mum says "what?? what is it?" so the girl replies "don't know but they were doing that really dirty thing where the man goes on top of the woman"

So to cut a long story short, turns out the dad was just watching a movie with a sex type scene in it. The mum says "why did you say it was dirty??" so the 15 year old says "well it is! the man was on top of the woman!"

The mum says "thats normal, its just sex" so the girl replies "thats the dirty part of sex though, the horrible, rude part"

personally, to me she sounds about 5, not 15. Her mum is also worried (and knows I'm posting about it on here as she'd like opinions).

The girl also regularly says stuff like "I'm never having a boyfriend, I hate boys" etc. Again, more like a small child than a 15 year old IMO.

Or am I being unreasonable and expecting her to act more grown up than she should?

Sounds like the issue of mum,dad and sex, how it makes her feel, she may have experienced some kind of intimacy and linked it to her parents and now it feels "dirty" to feel those feelings.

Or she could just be a immature girl whos learning how to become a woman and understand her own place as a sexual being.

Def not an abuse issue she told mum dads watching a dirty programme, she would def tell mum something un toward had happened, of course this is only my opinion, as for is she gay or straight you cant deduce that from one 5 min slot of a girls life surely.

Shes 15, sexually attractive to boys and men, she will be realising the power and the uncomfortable feelings that the first flush of woman hood can bring.

I think it is an over reaction by you and your friend to assume, lesbianism and or abuse.

And to be honest if that one commen causes this much unrest in the mother, no wonder she slightly anal about her emotions, seems they are analyised at every turn, so sorry but...

Yes yabu !

id get some books/ dvds on sex and reletionships she obviously hasnt been fully educated in it at school, she needs to understand that people who love each other have sex to express that love, and that it isnt dirty. its probably just what shes picked up from other kids and tv that sex is rude and embarassing.

id say to focus more on reletionships with her than the sex and link it in subtly, but as nickschick sed, be glad in a way that shes not doing it before shes ready

Juneybean, what LEM (I think) and myself find naive is not that she is deferring sex but her babyish way of talking about it. This is a person who will be an adult in 3 years time- how many 15yos do you know who use this infantile way of talking?

Doesn't mean I am an advocate for early sex. But I think somebody who is this young for her age is far more at risk than somebody more articulate. If this is the normal way she speaks, then other young people around will notice and someone may well decide to take advantage.

LEM I wasn't sexually activeat 15 (although I think I had my first real kiss about that age)And I also had a very sheltered upbringing by evangelical parents - But I didn't talk that way or think that way about sex. I'd never done it, but I knew the basics. I wouldn't be jumping to any conclusions about abuse,but she does seem very behind, if this isthe way she talks/thinks about sex.

juney - no not at all!! Quite the opposite in fact! Just pointing out the opposite end of the extreme. Thinking about it, i just wondered if the girl was grossed out by seeing her father watching something sexual on the TV, especially if, and this is how it appears, that she has quite conservative parents. Its the whole thing of your parents doing it - it still makes me shudder to think of it now!!

Given what has been said about how she is treated at school (which doesn't sound pleasant to say the least) I would wonder if she is retreating into a childish personality to protect herself and get attention.

I knew a girl just like this at school. She is still like it now (at 21) and although I was never unkind to her I could never work her out either! I do think it is odd behaviour and that talking to her/getting her somebody to talk to is a good idea, because it's not a healthy attitude that sex is dirty.

I would have preferred to die than watch a sex scene with my parents on tv at the age of 15 (I didn't think sex was dirty but equally I wasn't ready for it in all it's messy, fantastic reality) but she does either sound lacking in reassurance or she needs to talk about something.

I never talked about sex with my parents until after I'd had my daughter. Mum is fairly open-minded (now) but my elder sister is more repressive so some topics just aren't 'done' in that house.

My thought on it is maybe she's had too much exposure to sex/sexuality on TV and the Internet, and she wants to deisociate herself from it. Did you ever see the film Mermaids with Cher and Winona Ryder? In it, Cher is a single mother who after having failed relationships uproots the family each time to start afresh. This takes it's toll on Winona's character and she decides she wants to become a nun- I specifically remember one line where she asks God not to allow her 'to grow up and want to do disgusting things'. She does change her mind by the end of the film, then that's Hollywood!
Maybe she prefers an asexual lifestyle, perhaps become a nun.

To add to my previous post, maybe it's just a form of rebellion against her parents which would be normal for a 15 year old. Perhaps she's always being told she will get married and have children and she wants to show her DPs they won't dictate her future.
Maybe she's seen childbirth scenes and was disgusted by them, knows that sex can eventually lead to this event.
Maybe I'm totally off the beaten track here, but I'm trying to figure out the way I used to think at 15 yo.

It seems to me that this girl is very protected by her parents and maybe she isn't allowed to have boyfriends. Maybe she isnt 'popular' in school and doesn't attract male attention - hence the lesbian name calling.

I couldn't watch a film with steamy kissing in when I was a teen - I used to go and make a cuppa or go to the loo!! I was so embarrassed by it - and I'm talking about James Bond type scenes where there is a lot suggested but not viewed!! I think she may just be seriously embarrassed by the whole thing and it is coming across in her dialect wrongly! She may also think the thought of her dad and mum 'doing it at their age', or even being interested in it as disgusting!!! I don't think there is anything sinister, but it would be good if her mum could try to speak to her, maybe without judging her views.

As a gay woman I find it a bit odd that people can question the sexuality of a person gauged on her sexual maturity or lack thereof in this case.

Sounds like she just finds the whole process"gross" and she would probably say the same if she saw some girl on girl action.

I wonder if her parents are older maybe its a taboo subject in the house? It was always v open in my house and I always "Knew" what sex was. At that age I was really into guys as that was what everyone else did. Never found it that horrible it just didn't rock my world. I came out 4 years later.

But I wouldn't label her as "gay" because she finds a sexual act horrible. She is probably curious and really doesnt know where to turn. Also sounds like she is being bullied at school. Sounds like she needs to sit and talk to someone about why she finds it dirty rather than being labelled a "lesbian" by school bullies. IF she is coming out she will be confused. But at that age most kids feel sexually confused....I am glad I am not a teen in this day and age!!!her folks need to talk to her and not speculate.