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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if your child was invited to another childs house after school

23 replies

stoppinattwo · 25/02/2009 19:54

and was then brought home at about 7pm, would you think they would have had some freakin' tea!!!!!, dinner!!! whatever you may call it

DP collects them from school and so didnt think to ask, however as time went on I thought "oh she wil have surely had some tea by now"

she walked through the door "whats for tea mum im starvin......

OP posts:
louii · 25/02/2009 19:58

Ah no way, they must have been fed surely?

Ivykaty44 · 25/02/2009 20:00

Did you ask when you arranged the play after school? If you asked then YANBU but if you didn't aks then you will next time

Rachmumoftwo · 25/02/2009 20:00

Mine said this tonight when I bought them home- I saw them eating tea when I collected them!

sb6699 · 25/02/2009 20:01

I would have expected them to be fed but I suppose different families eat at different times.

harpsichordcarrier · 25/02/2009 20:02

yes, for sure

herbietea · 25/02/2009 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsMcCluskey · 25/02/2009 20:06

GOd yes!
Mine eat their tea at 4.30pm they are sstarving by then.

MrsMcCluskey · 25/02/2009 20:06

GOd yes!
Mine eat their tea at 4.30pm they are sstarving by then.

cornsilk · 25/02/2009 20:06

They never actually eat anything on play dates though (at my house anyway) no matter what you make for them.

WilyWombat · 25/02/2009 20:06

If they child goes home at 5.00 then its just "play" (which I prefer) if its 7.00 then it should involve food.

Best to ask next time so you know for sure and can arrange an earlier pick up time if not. I would always assume children needed to eat before 7.00...mine have a snack followed by their tea all before 6.00

cornsilk · 25/02/2009 20:07

I feed kids but they don't actually eat what I give them. Unless it's monster munch of course.

mylifemykids · 25/02/2009 20:08

Maybe your DD didn't like what the other parent made?!

Cloudspotter · 25/02/2009 20:08

I bet you they have been fed, but are just waiting for dinner no2!

WilyWombat · 25/02/2009 20:09

"They never actually eat anything" I agree totally which is why I would rather it didnt involve tea and finished earlier...god its bad enough having to feed my children.

plonker · 25/02/2009 20:09

Maybe she was extra hungry ...or perhaps didn't like what they were having?

Maybe she ate really early (3.30ish) and so was ready for supper.

Do you know that she definitely wasn't given anything to eat?

If you know for sure that she wasn't given anything, then YANBU.

Hulababy · 25/02/2009 20:11

Did she say she hadn't been fed? Or just that she was hungry?

DD says the latter very often, even when she's eaten at home!

I always feed children who come round to play after school, or over a meal time. How much they eat is another thing entirely however.

ProfYaffle · 25/02/2009 20:24

dd1's friend said similar to her Mum after being round at our house after school for tea - and I had bloody fed her!

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 25/02/2009 20:33

she did say they wernt fed and she eats like a sparrow so for her to be hungry is trez unusual...DP had gone to pick her up from school and it was then that the mum asked if she could come to play....DP didnt think to ask about tea, he didint even think to ask what time she was coming home...grrrrr, i did have her moby but didnt like to ask as it might seem a bit demanding iykwim....

anyway no harm done, she is tucking into beans on toast quick n easy

I always offer food at our house you see so i thought....sorry assumed other did too but it isnt worth getting into a twist about, i just thought it a little odd she is a good "friends mum" in many ways so I shall just make sure DP asks the right questions next time

OP posts:
mumof2monsters · 25/02/2009 21:23

I quite often have DS's friends over after school. So I collect them from school and take them back with me and they play and have fun etc and I normally feed them about 4.30-5pm and then take them home or get them picked up for 6pm
I would always feed them as they would normally have eaten at home by then I assume! I normally assume my DS would have eaten if he goes to a friends after school.
What I normally do is say to the mum "What sort of things do they like to eat?"

I cannot believe that a parent would not give the child something to eat as mine as normally starving after school and the first thing they ask for is a drink and something to eat.

paolosgirl · 25/02/2009 21:30

DD has a friend like this. The friend has no routine at all, and is fed at all sorts of times - 3pm? Here's your lunch. 9pm? Want some dinner? DD once went out for the with them from 10am until 5pm, and had nothing to eat or drink - I was furious, at them and myself for not asking them about meals, but it's difficult when your child is the guest.

The next time she went out with them I made her a packed lunch and told them that she had her own food

HateSponge · 25/02/2009 21:37

We dont eat til 7-7.15pm, (although thats because I'm at work & don't get home til 6.30) so I wouldn't necessarily assume if my DCs were anywhere til 7pm they would have had dinner, as I tend to expect most of their friends eat at a similar time. However, I would have expected they might have had a snack (toast, fruit, similar) at 4ish when they got home from school as this is what happens at their childminders.

I'm always a bit nervous of offending others, so if ever the DCs have friends round, once I've established what time they're staying til, I would normally ask if its ok for guest to have dinner with us, to avoid feeding a child who already has a dinner waiting at home!

2rebecca · 25/02/2009 22:10

We often don't eat until 7ish, but if having a friend round I would offer them something if they were staying after 6ish. I usually mention it when the stay is arranged

branflake81 · 27/02/2009 15:29

We don't normally eat until 7:30ish but on playdates I make an exception and feed them all earlier because the other parents seem to expect it.

I can't imagine making dinner at 4:30 though, it seems very early!

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