To expect a 10 year old to put his own clothes away?

[StayOutOfTheLight]

I wash and iron the kids clothes (obviously) but I do expect them to put them away once they're done.

I gave a pile to my 10 year old yesterday as normal. He was reading so I said when you're finished, put these away" and I left them on his bed.

Just before he went to bed I said "don't forget to put those clothes away" and he said "I won't"

Anyway I've just been in there now and all the clean, ironed clothes are strewn across his bed and on the floor

Is it alot to ask from a 10 year old? really?

He is a boy. He is reading. IM E, nothing - and I mean nothing! - you say will go in, however reasonable it is. I think you are being perfectly reasonable in Mummyland, but I don't think that coincides with Boyland. It certainly doesn't in our house.

make him wash them next time!

The answer is in your thread title his own clothes. YABVU - the putting away fairy should do it for him

Leave them there. His problem not yours. Stop ironing . If he wants to wear crumpled clothes that's his business.

YABU.. in his world.. lets face it.. if they are on the floor.. it's easier to pick and choose what you want to wear .. oh and putting away takes up sooooo much time and is soooooooo hard!

BUT.. YANBU in wanting him to do so

My 13yo dd1 is worse at this than my 9yo ds (although would be entirely characteristic of the 9yo also).

Your mistake was to assume that he would remember when he'd finished reading. That he would see the clothes and think, 'Ah, clean clothes lovingly washed by my beloved mother. Must tidy them away.' This is never going to happen, realistically.

If you want clothes put away, you have to make them do it there and then, probably with you standing over them.

Sigh.

I have to say, though, that ironing kids clothes is one self-sacrifice too far. If you don't iron, you mind less when it gets kicked arond.

I did this once when my mum had spent all day sorting my room out Picked up all the clothes etc etc of the floor

Anyway the following day i came home from school and all the things were on the patio
She had thrown them out of the window
She had come in just after I had gone to school and it was a mess again clothes on the floor :She had had enough

I never did it again

I was about 15 and untidy (still am really)but put everything on a chair now

it's true, he's old enough to make up his own mind whether he cares about looking crumpled or not - I'd stop ironing and stop caring about crumpledness too. Perhaps also introduce him to the washing machine?

My top tip? Keep childrens' room doors shut. I actually don't think it's fair to impose your standards of tidyness on their rooms. Communal living space is different, but they should be able to do what they like in their own rooms.

I'm working on this one with my 9yr old dd. She gets an extra 50p a week pocket money if she puts her clothes away. This weekend she asked for the 3 weeks pocket money she'd saved and I said I wasn't prepared to give her the extra 50p because I'd had to remind her constantly to put them away. I really thought it'd work.

Yesterday I put a pile of clean ironed clothes outside her bedroom door, today they were still there - she must have stepped over them a dozen times .

So, I don't know what the answer is, but I am not prepared to cave in.

catMandu - put them INSIDE the room so you don't have to look at them, and shut the door!

My FIVE year old puts her own washing away!

You are right Seeker, that's what I've done today - put them on her bed, am now waiting to see if she does what op's ds did.

Ah yes JohnnyTwoHats but I will be interested to know if he's still doing it at 15!!!! My ds's were much more helpful as younsters than they are as teenagers. I too now use seeker's approach and I don't iron their stuff either.

Isn't there a better place to put them than on the bed?

A consciencious child will see them and put them away.

A tired child may just shove them on the floor to go to bed.

Take childrens clothes out of tumble dryer, go to childs room, open childs door, throw clothes in, shut door.

They won't notice but at least they will smell clean.

YANBU to expect a 10 year old to be able to do this. Consequences... just think of something that will have an impact when removed/not be allowed. You just have to find the 'point of impact!!'.

I don't agree with the 'it's their room' POV either, IMO that's just bringing them up to be someone elses nightmare!! (DH leaves all his dirty clothes on the floor... etc) AND (to sound like my parents - while you're in my house, you'll do it my way!! LOL).

I heard this great idea once where

say you want them to tidy their room and say if they don't do it you will do it but you charge a 'fee'.
then if they don't tidy it thats fine, you tidy it but take your fee of say a nitendo ds or a few dvds or their favourite toy.

then they may get that item back from you by well doing something that you might have to do ( stacking the dishwasher etc.

I wouldn't have a fight about this. I put all my family's laundry away and tidy their cupboards and shelves, remove unused hangers etc. Getting your child used to tidy cupboards is a more valuable lesson than insisting he/she tidy them him/herself when still a bit young to understand why that might be useful and important.

And actually, I agree with OSOTC - why put them on the bed? It doesn't take me any longer to put ironed and folded clothes on a shelf than on a bed.

I sometimes grab a pile of their clean (but unironed) washing when we are on the way up stairs - getting dressed / into pj's, etc and say "let's put these away first" It usually works.

Sometimes they will even put stuff away without me helping , but I have to pick my times!

At 10 years old they are old enough to understand they need to put their own clothes away and tidy up.

Old eonough to understand, but not necessarily do it

It is still an issue for DH aged 40