that dh only seems interested in football, work, and more football....

[4paws]

Last night dh came home late, reheated his dinner, announced he was off early in the morning (he has to travel a lot) probably away until Friday and then said that the football was on and I could sit and watch it with him - like this was a great option WTF? I hate football and he knows it - and then spent the evening watching the match and texting his mate (who was also watching the match). Clearly they both had a great night. I'm not against a bit of time off to unwind, but he genuinely enjoys his job (skips off to work on a Monday morning) and when he comes home (usually conveniently after DS1 and 2 are asleep) he has to check Teletext and the Internet for any footy related news and also has to watch every team match. Also if it's not his team on TV then any team will do! He does play with the boys a bit at weekends although work quite often encroaches on Sundays but if we try to go anywhere with the boys at the weekend he usually just turns into Mr Grumpy What happened to wanting to spend time with his children, or indeed me?

Which team does he support?

Spurs. Yet he can still claim to enjoy it given the season they are having

I would be annoyed too in your situation. DH also a footy fan. It annoys me sometimes that it is not just on Saturdays, but Sundays too so at weekends we have to have our family time and be back home before kick off. And then there are the european games on weekday evenings. I don't mind usually because he's a SAHD so I love to do the lions share of parenting at weekends and give him some time off. If I didn't go to work, then I'd be miffed. I've got used to arranging our social life around the footy fixtures. We even chose our wedding day as it was the only weekend after the end of the football season and before the world cup started.

Good heavens, so he is a masochist as well.

Seriously, it sounds like he is behaving rather selfishly without knowing it. He probably can't really understand why you don't share his utter delight in the footy. I would say two things: bite your lip and take a little bit of interest so you can chip in now and then (he will love you for it) but also have a talk with him about how you think it's lovely he gets so much joy from football and that's great but the rest of you feel a bit sidelined and you would really appreciate if he could work out how he is going to fit in spending time with you and the family.

I think talking to him about it without sounding naggy is the key. Even if you are justified in feeling naggy

LadyThompson - in truth I'm not sure he does want to spend time with me /family. Unless of course we're all lined up on the sofa doing exactly what HE wants to do . My Dad always tried to be home early to spend time with us when we were little. I just don't understand why DH doesn't

Oh 4Paws. Have you tried talking to him about this at all? Do you think he has any idea? If he doesn't, he might be surprised how bad things have got and you really need to lay it on the line. If he does...well, I guess you are going to have it ratchet it up and make him realise there is quite a serious problem here. But don't make it Family vs Football. Make him see that all can co-exist harmoniously but he DOES have to make a bit more effort.

Is it just my DH or are there lots of lazy selfish men like this? I have tried talking to him but he just seems to be tunnel-minded: The football is on, he wants to watch football along with a lot of rubbish which translates as him being the best bloke he knows!

Thing is, I do see it as Family v Football. He doesn't have that much time when he's not working/ travelling and he just likes to plug in and tune out so to speak. I know everyone needs time out but it seems like an awful lot of tuning out to me ...

When I was little I used to be so grateful that my dad was not a football dad. The tyranny of The Match over weekends seemed so oppressive in some of my friends' families.
Because I did not grow up with this, I have never understood why some people think, "but... The Match!" trumps everything, nor why other people with no interest in The Match go along with it.
My DP loves football but will not expect the world to revolve around it. He would like it to, sometimes, but doesn't ask it to, and maybe he would be embarrassed of being so pathetic! I am aware of my good fortune in this respect. and... I am afraid have nothing useful to add.

Maybe set some boundaries like certain games only are allowed pride of place in the family schedule? I suppose the benefit of football is that you can easily look up fixtures and find out what is important so you can propose reasonable compromises (as opposed to trying to deal with a situation where only they have the info, so they just keep saying "there is a very important meeting coming up" and you have no idea whether it really matters or not)