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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my cm just got bought a small dog and I'm not happy

26 replies

thefunkypea · 23/02/2009 20:07

She bought it on Christmas Eve but only collected it this morning, the first I knew was when I dropped my dd off this morning. It's only a small thing, but it shares the same space as the children, and it has a toilet training mat that was in the kitchen and then moved into the playroom at pick-up time. AIBU?

OP posts:
SobranieCocktail · 23/02/2009 20:08

YANBU at all!

belgo · 23/02/2009 20:09

there was a thread about this recently, with information on the legal requirements. I will search for it.

ANTagony · 23/02/2009 20:10

I can understand your concern but hasn't there recently been a report about children raised around pets are far less likely to suffer from various disorders and are less prone to coughs and colds etc.

It could be a good experience for your dd so long as some toilet boundaries are set.

belgo · 23/02/2009 20:11

here

Original poster
thefunkypea · 23/02/2009 20:11

If you can find it Belgo, that would be brilliant.
My dd loves her cm, and she's been brilliant until now. I feel a bit stitched up

OP posts:
popperdoodles · 23/02/2009 20:13

She should have told you for sure. She should have done a full risk assessment for the dog and have a pets policy to show how she will ensure minded children are kept safe and healthy.

On the whole I think pets is a positive for children but not everyone feels like this so yes she should have warned you before collecting the dog.

Ask how she is going to manage the dog with minded children and if you are not happy then maybe time to look else where.

I am a cm who has a dog by the way but I had her long before starting cm so parents knew her and met her before deciding to use my services. Luckily all my parents either have dogs themselves or like dogs.

popperdoodles · 23/02/2009 20:14

She should have told you for sure. She should have done a full risk assessment for the dog and have a pets policy to show how she will ensure minded children are kept safe and healthy.

On the whole I think pets is a positive for children but not everyone feels like this so yes she should have warned you before collecting the dog.

Ask how she is going to manage the dog with minded children and if you are not happy then maybe time to look else where.

I am a cm who has a dog by the way but I had her long before starting cm so parents knew her and met her before deciding to use my services. Luckily all my parents either have dogs themselves or like dogs.

LucyEllensmummy · 23/02/2009 21:10

I love dogs, have had a rotweiller when DD1 was small. I now have a JRT. My DD2 loves dogs and is very confident around them so long as they dont jump over her. I would absolutely not send my child to a CM who had a dog, no matter what size. I am confident in my ability to manage dogs and children, I KNOW that i would foresee problems etc. I don't know this about the CM and her dogs. Nup, i would be extremely angry - As to whether i would remove DD, thats a very difficult one to answer, especially if DD is happy there.

StudentMadwife · 23/02/2009 21:12

shes not allowed to do this. cms have to have their dogs away from minded children. id talk to her about it and if shes still letting the dog occupy the same space as the children report to ofsted.

cheesesarnie · 23/02/2009 21:15

my cm has 3 small dogs.the newest one arrived a few months ago.the cms are ever so good about introducing children to the dogs and dogs to the children.

i would talk to the cm about your concerns.

squirrel42 · 23/02/2009 21:46

Studentmadwife - childminders don't have to keep dogs in a separate space to children! Where have you heard that?

Under EYFS statutory guidance you need to make sure that any animals are "safe" to be around children and don't pose a health risk. There's nothing about not allowing them in the same areas as children use.

4paws · 24/02/2009 15:53

No, no no no. Small dogs and children are NOT a good mix. It's very easy for a small dog to feel threatened by overly bouncy children. There are some really bad tempered / overly spoilt small dogs around too. Especially terrier types. I do have a dog and a good dog properly handled can be brilliant, but I would NOT feel comfortable about leaving my children in your situation.

And what? She BOUGHT a dog on XMAS EVE? Doesn't sound good to me

traceybath · 24/02/2009 15:56

I wouldn't be happy to be honest.

I'd have a chat with her and explain why you're not terribly impressed and see what she says.

VictorianSqualor · 24/02/2009 15:57

No way would I allow it.
Squirrel, you say that cms have to make sure pets are 'safe' to be around children, I'm sorry but you can NEVER be sure a dog is safe to be around a child.

muddleduck · 24/02/2009 15:57

I would be more worried about the fact that she didn't mention it to you. I'm sure that there are ways of making this situation work fine, but I would have expected my cm to mention something like this. Surely she would want your input on whether your lo was likely to have any trouble getting used to the dog? And you should expect her to reassure you about how she plans to manage things.

JODIEhadtoomanymincepies · 24/02/2009 16:01

Oh dear. I;m a dog lover and we have a lovely Border Collie, and as much as she is docile, I would never leave the children unattended with her (more I don't trust the kids not to pull her hair/ears etc) and if I ever have guests I always put the dog outside.

I would have an issue with your CM, only for the fact that she never mentioned it. What if any of her mindees have allergies?

wotulookinat · 24/02/2009 16:09

YANBU. I have 2 dogs, but I would honestly not be happy if I were in your situation. My dogs are in a separate area to my DS and only mix under supervision.
I would not trust someone else to supervise my DS with a dog around. I agree completely with VS - you can never 100% trust a dog around a child.
I cannot see why she didn't tell you - what if your child was allergic to animals?

Wizzska · 24/02/2009 16:41

I can understand your concerns. I love dogs although I don't have one myself. I would be concerned that this dog is new and untrained. I would want to know exactly how the CM is planning to ensure the safety of the children in her care. I wouldn't have a problem with a CM who had had a dog for years as that would mean the dog would be used to children and the CM would be used to dealing with the dog and children together.

Original poster
thefunkypea · 24/02/2009 20:22

Because I'm chicken, my dh had a word with my cm this morning and expressed all our concerns re safety and hygiene. CM had reasonable answers to questions but I wasn't satisfied that she could supervise a puppy, 3 or 4 mindees (during the day) and do lunches/teas etc. However, when I collected dd this evening, she said that she had rung the National CM's assoc and asked them some questions, and the puppy's cage, food bowls and puppy itself were noticeably absent from the kitchen. I took that as a good sign, that she's taken our concerns on board (although I'm not naive enough to think that it isn't around during the day since dd was hunting for where the puppy went while I was there ). I'm trying not to reach a knee-jerk conclusion, but I tend to agree with some of the posters, that any dog can be provoked by a bit of impromptu ear/tail pulling by a small child, and I've arranged to have a look around a nearby nursery, just to know what some of my other options are...
Thanks for all your input, it's been v helpful

OP posts:
Alambil · 24/02/2009 20:51

my CM has 2 dogs - they are lovely things, but I know that they're trained to an exceptional standard and DS knows how to respect dogs and leave them alone if they want to be left (my parents have 2 dogs too - he lays on one and the other lays on him - it's so cute!)

Anyway, that's by the by... it wouldn't bother me if a CM had a puppy, but I'd want to know she was taking it training and it had a safe place to go when it wanted to retreat

twentypence · 24/02/2009 20:55

I couldn't find a single CM in our town that didn't have a pet. As ds is very allergic to dog and cat fur it really narrowed our choices.

It's good that she has made some changes.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 24/02/2009 21:01

No YANBU.

By having a dog, she is completely changing the conditions of the house you are entrusting your child to IMO. For some people, the presence or not of a dog in the house, is a deciding factor in whether you choose that CM or not - just as for others, smoking is, or whether the TV is on in the background all the time, whether there is a garden, whether she goes to M&T groups, etc. It's an important deciding factor and she shouldn't change it without giving you plenty of notice and a chance to make alternative arrangements.

wotulookinat · 24/02/2009 21:04

When I collect my DS from the childminder (her house is pet-free), I won't even taken one of my dogs with me, even though it is only a short walk away. I worry that one of the other kids may be allergic, or may have a tail-tug and I wouldn't want to be in that situation.

squirrel42 · 24/02/2009 21:39

VictorianSqualor I was just pointing out what the legal requirements for childminders and pets are - to correct the earlier statement that childminders had to keep dogs out of the areas used by children.

The safe or not argument re children and dogs can be argued up and down until the cows come home. The basic position is that it depends on the childminder, the children, the dog and the procedures put in place. Where one childminder may have very well trained dogs that children are always closely supervised around, another may have a known-to-be-snappy-when-provoked rescue dog that is always kept in the kitchen while children are there.

kslatts · 24/02/2009 21:41

I wouldn't mind my cm having a small dog and I know my dd's would love it, but your cm should of discussed it with you prior to getting it.

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