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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated that my MIL referred to the vacuum cleaner as....

37 replies

oysterpots · 23/02/2009 10:45

... 'mummy's hoover'?

She was pointing out things for my DS to name round the room and said 'and is that mummy's hoover?'.

Funny thing is, my DH had left it there after he'd cleaned the kitchen.

OP posts:
compo · 23/02/2009 10:46

yabu and overly picky!
it's just something to say, just say to your ds 'and daddy's hoover isn't it, he used it to tidy the kitchen earlier'

Disenchanted3 · 23/02/2009 10:46

I never hoover. DH does it all.y

You should have said 'and there DS, is an example of sexism'

ladymariner · 23/02/2009 10:51

agree with compo. yadbu

myfunnynametaken · 23/02/2009 10:57

No, you are not being unreasonable.

The correct thing for her to call it would have been "mummy's vacuum cleaner" - hoover is a brand name

madrush · 23/02/2009 10:59

It's possible that I'm unreasonable too (when it comes to anything to do with my mil at least ...) but I don't think UABU. I wouldn't want my children to think that household appliances belong to mummy. I would correct it at the time, as compo suggested.

onthepier · 23/02/2009 11:04

Take it as a sign that she thinks you do a lot of work around the house, (poss more than your dh?!)

I was irritated to the other extreme recently by my MIL. I would say I do 90% of the household chores but my dh likes to make out he does more than he does. When she stayed with us we were clearing away the dinner things and she actually asked me how my dh likes the dishwasher loaded!! (For what it's worth, we'd had that dishwasher about a month, it's used every day + I think he'd loaded it twice in that time)!

Nabster · 23/02/2009 11:19

There are worse things to be bothered by.

Qally · 23/02/2009 12:23

I'd be annoyed as well, tbh, as it does rather imply it's women's work. But if he has a mother who is annoyed by it, then he'll grow up with those values and not your MILs.

FAQinglovely · 23/02/2009 12:26

ooooo if someone had pointed to my dyson and even hinted that it was "daddy's" (or anyone elses for that matter other than MINE) I'd be bloody livid.................it MY Dyson and I'm very precious about it.........especially since it's the one I got at the start of last year when they did the testing thing here on MN so it didn't cost me a penny and I could never afford to replace it with another Dyson

crumpet · 23/02/2009 12:27

I was a bit ashamed when I realised that ds thinks it's the cleaner's hoover - he was v shocked when he saw me using it (once)without her permission!

mistlethrush · 23/02/2009 12:30

Ds has been told very clearly that it's Mummy's hammer action drill, and Mummy's belt sander - but Daddy is allowed to use the screwdrivers (!!! )

Wizzska · 23/02/2009 12:39

YANBU, it is things like that that turn our lovely DSs into the crap, lazy husbands of tomorrow. Am going to make sure my lad leaves home knowing how to cook and clean. Don't know how though, am a terrible cook myself, DH will have to teach him that.

KingRolo · 23/02/2009 12:48

YANBU.

Tell MIL in future it's just 'the hoover', 'the washer', 'the hammer drill' whatever, no need to give ownership of commonly used mundane appliances to a particular family member.

Explaining why might be tricky, my mil is lovely but really doesn't get why things like that are important.

StealthPolarBear · 23/02/2009 12:52

that would drive me mad. DH refers to "your kitchen" and "my garage" just because he knows it winds me up

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 23/02/2009 13:21

DH does all the hoovering in our house. My last interaction with the bloody thing was when I tripped over it and broke my toe - so I would have called it Mummy's nemesis.
YANBU at all OP - we need to stamp out sexism wherever we find it. Your DS will a better man (and husband) if he never learns to identify the hoover as 'Mummy's'

StealthPolarBear · 23/02/2009 13:26

Actually, it's my mum who is more likely to do this. When we moved into our new house there were a lot of comments about how "she never cleaned her cupboards" etc. I replied that no, and neither did he. Never realised how old fashioned she is until then!

PrettyCandles · 23/02/2009 13:30

LOL.

What does it say about my housekeeping, that 2yo ds2 comments "Daddy broom" and "Daddy dustbuster" whenever he sees me pick them up?

OTOH, I'm the only one who ever does any ironing in this house, but it's never "Mummy iron"!

When I was on maternity leave after ds1, MIL asked me "How do you like being a housewife?", I just looked at her, trying to find a polite reply. In the end I managed Not much, but then I don't consider myself a housewife." She looked quite offended.

madrush · 23/02/2009 15:13

Oh, StealthPolarBear, that reminds me of when my MIL came to visit with DH and I out at work.

When I came home she had a pot of toast crumbs that she'd emptied from the toaster and saved up to show me.

She didn't show them to her son.

WinkyWinkola · 23/02/2009 15:36

Tell her a clean house is sign of a wasted life.

LucyEllensmummy · 23/02/2009 15:37

sorry - more important things in life to get ones knickers in a twist about!

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 23/02/2009 15:38

YANBU, I agree with everyone else who has said it.

I don't do much housework because of my back, I was quite cross awhile ago when he left the vacuum in the hall with the pipe going from wall to wall, I can't step over the pipe and it took me ages to get to the loo!

My mum always comments on the men in my family. My granddad (her FIL) shocked his in-laws when he got up to help with the washing up the first time he went to dinner (around the end of the war). My dad does most of the housework because Mum works long hours and my brother does most of the housework and childcare (they have five children). My other granddad doesn't even do the DIY but he is quick to critise my dad for not doing enough!

SPB I love that comment!

mm22bys · 23/02/2009 15:41

It IS mummy's hoover, even if daddy actually does the vacuuming. Don't you and DH jointly own most things?

This is the sort of thing that at times would rile me, so YABU!

StealthPolarBear · 23/02/2009 15:55

a pot of toast crumbs!! Next time leave a little note in there saying GET A LIFE.
Did you not say oh we save them and when we have a bag full we go and feed the ducks?

MayorNaze · 23/02/2009 15:57

my MIL said yesterday to my dds

"i wish i had had little girls to halp me with the tidying up" (she only had boys.)

i was a bit but decided discretion was the better part of valour...

Starbear · 23/02/2009 16:00

say 'this granny's coat and granny's handbag' and take them to the door!