to feel pissed off that our new car will not be in my name??

[DorisIsAPinkDragon]

Background: have to get new car as dc3 on the way and current one not big enough. Current family car in my name and second (much smaller) car in Dh's with corresponding insurances, as dh only been driving a few years.

Went to dealership on Friday, having finally decided what we wanted and dealers were offering 0% interest finance deal. Negotiated price etc with me doing all most of the chat. Comes to take out deal we figure as Dh has job and I'm sahm credit search should be in his name ( all finance joint in the doris household). Comes to the registration docs and because the credit check has been done in Dh's name the car can not be in mine.

This in view of the fact that as soon as we walk away with the reg docs, we can contact the DVLA and register a new owner, but ?devalue the car further by creating a 3rd registered keeper where really there is none!

AIBU to resent the fact that because I gave up my career to look after my children, I now am resigned to feeling like a chattel to dh, (who to be fair is quite happy to transfer ownership after the event)

PS I am normally very happy as a SAHM ( espically as one of my dc's requires more care)

The thing is the car is on credit you dont actually own the car so I dont really think it matters.

As a sahm I was advised by an elderly solicitor to keep some bills in my own name- therefore should we even aquire enough to argue about if we divorced I could produce bills paid for in my own right.

I am the registered keeper of our car ourely cos it was me that struck the deal when we bought it - i dont even drive!!!.

IM NOT BEING NASTY SAYING YOU DONT OWN THE CAR - SORRY IF I GAVE THAT IMPRESSION - sorrier still for yelling lol.

You won't own the car until it is paid for but I don't see why they can't register you as the keeper/owner if your DH is paying for it. Otherwise, what is the point of the questions on insurance forms?

Nickschick I fully accept the car won't be ours for sometime yet but keeping money in the bank in this financial climate made far more sense!!!

We have bills in both names (different bills) but sounds weird I felt as tho' I was losing something ( in our shared household having a car to not having one....

Sally i did wonder hether it would affect the insurance, haven't done anything about looking into it tho' just ranted on MN

Nickschick I fully accept the car won't be ours for sometime yet but keeping money in the bank in this financial climate made far more sense!!!

you have money in the bank?????

ohh lord i remember those days ........

I don't think YABU. DP bought 'me' a new car for Christmas. It was amazing of him to do so, really exciting, much better car than my old one, etc. But I did feel a bit weird about the fact even though it was a present for me, it is in his name, and I am now selling my old one so won't officially own one.

I also became a SAHM when ds was born, I had a successful career, high profile etc, and it was such a major change of identity which took me months to fully come to terms with. I had also been so independent, my own flat, own car, own income etc. Still feels disconcerting to me that I am quite financially dependent on DP (and as we're not married, quite insecure too!).

It's a hard adjustment to make mentally and in terms of your status - I can totally understand where you're coming from. The car is just symbolic of that.

I think you have ishoos then Doris! If you seriously feel that. You linked it with feeling that giving up your career has turned you into a 'chattel', which is a strange way of looking at it, as it seems no one else has suggested this to you. Your DH doesn't appear to have a problem with you not earning, and the poor car dealer was just doing his job!

Maybe you were just having a bad day? Otherwise, it seems an over reaction tbh. I actually have no idea without looking at the reg documents whether our two cars are in my name, my dh's or both. We both work full time btw, but it matters not a jot to me... status for me has nothing to do with a name on a car document.

violet- dh did joke (when we had left the dealers)that I "was his chattel" it was a genuine joke, and he has been told in no uncertain terms I did not find it funny, that was why I used the term it's not one I normally associate with.

Think I am going to put this one partially down to pregancy hormones.

Its just part of the SAHM experience. you have to take the rough with the smooth, imo.

Ahh... that may explain it. Buggers your body up this pregnancy lark

It shouldn't matter but... I think your dealer is being an arse. There is no reason why they cant put it your name as previous posters have said.

Violet- totally !!!have been reading this between tears and laughter don't know which way is up... poor dh just keeps saying I really don't mind changing it....

And I should know better I lurk on AIBU too often!!!! And i've not really been flamed!!!

[GRIN][GRIN][GRIN]

and there's not even wine or a small G&T!!!

I have our car in my name as I pay for the insurance. However, it was in DPs name when we first got it, so had to be put in my name.

Both our cars are in my name - dh does not worry a jot.

And anyway the DVLA only shows the registered keeper NOT the owner so you could quite legitamatley tell the dealer to feck off and have the registration document in your name even if the invoice etc is in your dh's

I got the dvla to change it.